Pump your emotional brakes! When considering courtship, understand time is on your side. Watch out for those who try to convince you to make a quick decision! We know better typically when we consider a large purchase like a car or a home, but for whatever reason when it comes to dating or selecting friends, we tend to rush our judgement! Why is that?
I’m not condemning you! In fact, had I actually followed the advice I am giving you now, my then would have been mightily different. But of course I don’t mind that matter. I wouldn’t be able to help you do better had I not done the contrary so trust I’m good with my past…
Give it a year! The first step of making a good decision with regard to whom you will allow to join you on your journey to destiny is that you must be whole!
If you’re whole you are free to proceed…
However, just in case you are not sure if you are whole, let me explain who a whole person is…
- A whole person is one who is completely content with being who he or she is…
- A whole person is confident in his or her abilities and is honest about his or her limitations…
- A whole person is spiritually, mentally, and EMOTIONALLY mature…
- A whole person has no need to wear masks…
- A whole person is aware of and embraces God’s perspective of them
- A whole person understands his or her worth is priceless
Above are just a few details…of course there are many more, but you get my drift…
Just in case you are not there yet…this is for you:
Don’t just pump your brakes…Pull over and get off the road! You need to spend quality time with the Lord so that you can get your emotional, spiritual, and mental health in line with God’s intention for you.
Now, in case you are where I am and beyond…let’s use a gardening analogy for a moment…
…on giving it a year…When you give yourself time to allow the relationship to organically grow, you are not left with blind assumptions on the fruit expected!
That said, a year gives you the opportunity to observe the fruit in all seasons! How else are you going to know whether your investment is the right choice?
For example: We all have off seasons, but in the natural if the fruit you desire to receive is oranges, the last thing you want to do is get lemons…
Get this…agriculturally lemons and oranges grow in the same areas, produce fruit, and have lovely leaves. They are even similar in appearance! Yes, both of these bad boys produce lovely white flowers.
However, if you taste an orange and then a lemon, you definitely know the difference…AM I RIGHT?
Oranges are sweet and are consumed as “fresh” fruit while lemons have a strong, sour taste and are best consumed in small quantities, if at all. However, lemons can be still be appreciated because they also have the ability to bring other flavors (circumstances) together.
Yes, both have important uses! So before you allow a permanent scowl take residence on your face and in your heart, consider the intention of the thing.
What Does That Mean???
Well, ladies and gents, you can’t have lemonade without lemons so now is not the time to regret who you have dated or befriended in your past because they left a sour taste in your mouth in a prior season. Consider what those relationships taught you about YOU.
Yes, I meant YOU.
When you focus on what the relationship taught you about the other person involved, you miss the lesson!
Frankly, if your pattern has been one of shopping for oranges and you keep getting lemons, the issue is not the fruit or its source. After all, the fruit is doing exactly the only thing it can do…Be fruit…Consequently, you are the one who needs to change your perspective.
Don’t Be Misled by the Outside!
As mentioned earlier, in the natural, lemon trees and orange trees produce similar-looking flowers and leaves. Agriculturally, however, there are still a few distinct features to be aware of so there’s no confusion. Lemon trees grow less than half the size of orange trees. What’s more is that Lemon trees have thorns!
Consider this question: Are you so focused on the exterior of a potential partner that you failed to even question the kind of fruit that he or she will produce? Better yet, have you taken the time to ask the manufacturer for verification BEFORE you invest?
- Have you prayed about him or her?
- Have you waited for a response?
- Have you heeded the warning?
If you cannot answer yes to those three questions, then unfortunately it is likely you will continue to receive the wrong fruit. Remember, insanity is doing the same thing over and over, but expecting different results. You simply cannot make a lemon sweet just as you cannot make a broken person whole. Only God can do that!
Newsflash: YOU ARE NOT JESUS JR!!!
Your best bet with dating or when exploring a new friendship is to observe the prospect for at least a year to ensure you are getting what you desire. Otherwise, you will be forever trying to make sweet what was ultimately not designed for your consumption. That said, since God allows us free will, in His doing so, He allows us to encounter some sour experiences in relationships occasionally.
Nevertheless, even these were not meant to discourage you from abandoning your efforts. Rather, the sour experiences you faced before were meant as a part of the process. Regardless of your relational status now, before you invest in a relationship, your chances of receiving exactly what you expect is best when you wait long enough to see the fruit your choice has produced rather than taking a chance on ending up with another sour situation.
©2016 Nadia Davis. All Rights Reserved.