Well, today God showed me with His great sense of humor that I cannot go back to a lower level once I’d decided on my direction. You see I was on an exercise bike and though I’ve worked out regularly, I’ve been eating everything sweet I can get my hands on the last two weeks so my workouts before had been lazy at best.

Today I was on that bike and instead of picking manual as I had before, I picked “fat burn” and I decided that I wanted to get my heart rate really pumping so I was ambitious with the goal. Four minutes into that level I was already exhausted and I had a long way to go…so I tried to lower the level…four times I tried and each time it would only allow me to pause the session and pick right back up where I left off.

I was so tired I drank nearly all my water in ten minutes. The thing is this. This bike was stationary, but I’d chosen a distance and pre-set accomplishment to shed the weight.  I was unable to backtrack my level in the middle of the work out. And honestly, I was too embarassed to ask for help thinking that the machine was malfunctioning…

Basically, I learned two things from this situation. First, on the road to destiny sometimes it is necessary for you to sit still and say yes to the pre-planned coordinates to get the benefits the manufacturer knows you desire and need. Second,  you must also realize that once you’ve started taking the steps in the right direction, there is a point of no return…you cannot turn back…In fact, I only was able to briefly pause my workout…Yet, even those pauses worked against me because then the resistance seemed stronger. I say “seemed” because it was merely a perception error. Though the level had remained the same as it had been when I decided to take my first unscheduled break, it seemed as if the level had gotten harder with each pause.  In retrospect of what I exposed of my heart yesterday, I admit that even while working out I had been fighting whether I should receive after all…whether I am really ready for romance and beyond…whether I should continue to go it alone…

I stalled my progress and made my attempts to continue more painful in my workout  and I was preventing my leg muscles from properly adjusting to the new level because I essentially had been resisting the process. I don’t want that to be my story for love and divine partnership. I suppose this was God’s way of letting me know that now that I have taken the steps to decide to believe in love again that I couldn’t go back to the prior level without more pain so regardless of the fear, the courage He’s provided still gives me the strength to just keep pedaling.

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