Trust this obedience to the Holy Spirit has me a bit spooked myself, but I’m going with it….
Yes, while I was perusing some of my old posts I came across this same little issue and felt the need to further discuss it….again…
Okay I mentioned this the other day and the day before that and apparently last year, but anyway…here’s what I’ve come up with so far…
On a road trip last year, I found myself giving another young lady some advice about her relationship…go figure….rather, I told her waiting is her best option when she mentioned,
“I mean I want to be married like yesterday!”
It’s not the first time I’d heard her say that and given my own history, I couldn’t dare allow her to make the same mistakes I had because of impatience. Also, after talking some more with her and another friend, we all realized the one thing we had in common. We were all sort of angry with our men at the time…well, one girl seemed to be chronically upset with hers, but that’s a subject for another day. I guess the situation wasn’t as funny as our laughter made it seem at the time, but as we vented we realized our abrupt actions led to a trivial pursuit of having it our way. Of course, the guys on the road trip gave us a hand in that revelation.
Nonetheless, perhaps our little battle of the sexes proved something fruitful…
Oh did I mention that this was a Single’s Trip meant for good, clean, fellowship and not hook-ups…I just thought I’d throw that in noting the irony of the motives behind some who join Single Ministries…
I digress as usual…
Anyway, we all (guys and gals) seemed to want the same thing in a committed relationship: to be loved unconditionally, respected, and appreciated; but men and women are different and it takes time for those differences to either compliment or repel one another. Also it definitely helps if you know what makes you feel loved. Check out 5 love languages for singles…Awesome read!!!
Given that understanding, it’s important to know that marriage doesn’t start with the wedding. It starts with God. Unfortunately, however, we live in a microwave culture and because so many don’t take the time to wait on God’s approval, provision, and timing, far too many marriages end shortly after the honeymoon.
So again…what can be done to get us on the right track to having the love that we feel we deserve….well for starters it could help that you are lovable.
I know that seemed a bit mean, but hear me out.
Are you treating people like you really want to be treated or are you going through life faking the funk occasionally and biting people’s heads off the rest of the time.
The bible says, to have friends you must show yourself friendly…wouldn’t it stand to support that to have love you need to ensure that you’re lovable..
Now, I have had a past that I can’t really repeat right now…well because of copyright stuff but we’ve all got one…good, bad, ugly…some we wish we could completely eliminate from the planet…and then again some of you really would just prefer that some of the guys and gals of your pasts would just disappear from the planet instead…
Whatever the case…the only way to get beyond the pain of yesterday is to face it and bury it…not burying it in a shallow grave…completely obliterating it the way we wish we could do that person who broke our hearts…that kind of annihilation…otherwise, those good guys and girls who are willing to stick it out with become a casualty of the war in your heart…some end up wounded and others end up dead…
Yes, you’ve successfully but not so much created another heartbroken zombie like yourself because you refuse to seek or accept the healing and help you need to be whole so you won’t be a ticking time bomb to others.
I know this post is all over the place, but I feel the need to spread the word about the importance of being whole yourself before you even think of tagging along with another person in your journey.
I don’t know why, but God does and that’s enough for today.
©2015 Nadia Davis. All Rights Reserved.
Better Not Bitter 
I want to hear from you! Tell me what you think!