Don’t Rush the Process


Last year a friend made this comment about her relationship at the time,

“I mean I want to be married like yesterday!”  

Apparently, her biological clock was ticking louder than she cared to hear…images (1)

I mean really?  We’ve all seen some aspect of a “Bridezilla” whether on the reality show or in reality period so I’m just curious…

Question:  Are you on a mission to be married too?

I’ve had to even sit down and have a pow-wow with myself on this one.


Marriage is a big step…one I’ve been there, done it wrong twice…Do I even want to go there again?


Having worked at a marriage ministry for a couple of years, I picked up a few pointers. Considering all the wedding announcements posted on social media and just as many if not more divorce filings plastered in the papers on a daily basis, I think it’s fair that I post a little info on the matter as well…

A bit of background…

I can’t tell you the number of calls I received from wives calling to purchase a certain book about “manhood” as a gift for their husbands.  Some even called under the guise that their husbands asked them to order it for them.  Yeah Right! Now some might have been legit, but it was something about the desperation in these women’s voices that clued me in otherwise.

Wow…and yes, I admit there were times when I told them point blank,

“You might not want to do that.”

These wives really wanted to figure out how they could “make” their husbands be the men they knew they could be.  While I felt their plight, I also understood one thing then that I’m actually finding issues with grasping today.

“You can’t really change a man.”

Moreover, you really should try to do it either.

Yep, and for the guys…

“You really can’t change a woman either.”

Yeah, I had just as many men were calling requesting certain materials for their to get some “act right” as it were!

DISCLAIMER: Gentlemen, if you are dealing with a fiercely domineering woman, the last thing you want to do is to give her that book as a “token of your appreciation.”

It won’t be appreciated.  In fact, it will likely be the start of a serious verbal assault. Sad but true. Don’t say I didn’t warn you…


For those single and seeking

Pray that God makes you ready to receive the love you need.

I know that seems simple, but I’ve had to learn I hadn’t been ready to receive the righteous love God wanted me to have in a marital relationship in the past because I had been unwilling to truly accept God’s love for me first.  I also want to point out that I said the love you need and not what you want….there is a difference…

Single Ladies and Gents,

The love you need is not going to be from someone to placate you by acquiescing to your every whim.  Rather, the love you need will bring out the best in you by any means necessary.  Yes, that includes letting you know occasionally that your stuff stinks too…


With Love of course…

Regardless, examine your motives for marriage….it’s ministry!!!

Yep, both good marriages and bad marriages have the potential to spread a message.  I know it seems counterproductive to say that, but what I mean is people are always watching.  If you have children,  you have a captive audience so that’s something to think about, isn’t it?

images (2)

That said, if you’re not married yet, take a good hard look at your relationship and consider whether you put that “thang” together yourself or if it was the Lord’s doing!

Yes, I meant to say “thang” and yes I can get country…Memphis is rubbing off on me again…next thing you know I’ll be using words like “junt.”

…moving on

Though I’m technically single, I’ve learned to be wholly connected to something greater in this process. So no matter how loud my clock ticks, I’m no longer willing to rush who God’s approved as my covenant partner for anyone…not even for myself.

©2015-2017 Nadia Davis. All Rights Reserved.


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