Just words…For those who were not there…I shared a bit of my testimony and for a moment, I cried…but only for a moment…here’s what God placed on my heart a few minutes ago…
This day…I officially receive my title as a Prodigal Mama…be blessed and share if you feel led.
I’ve considered my tears yesterday and though unexpected and brief when providing just a piece of the testimony God’s led me to share…I woke up this morning rejoicing again…that my tears were not of shame or regret…not of pain or worry…that My Tears were of joy…what I didn’t share with everyone then because of time constraints was that the rift between my son and I no longer pains me because I have INTENTIONALLY chosen to love in spite of…I have INTENTIONALLY chosen to FORGIVE in advance of…I have INTENTIONALLY decided to have joy in the MIDDLE OF whatever I face…As Christ through me works, I realize that I have control over one being on this planet…that is me…Though I have influenced many and will influence many more by my actions or inaction, I realize that it is but God who allows me to accept and embrace this transition in promise…Parents have it hard enough…single parents have it harder at times, but as I stated yesterday…God IS A FATHER TO THE FATHERLESS…I’ve learned the more open I am with MY Heavenly Father about the pain I’ve endured, the more quickly I recognize the healing of such. I was not planning on writing all of this, but God has a way of allowing me to bled on pages…I surrender the right to remain silent to Him alone…Be blessed family…whether single parent or not…whether engaged in a happy relationship with your children or in the valley of sibling rivalry and contention….Know that God is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all we can think or imagine…so my prayer for all is collective that we consider our vertical alignment a priority…that doesn’t mean suffocating ourselves in “service projects” and busyness…I’ve been there, done that to my prior detriment…It means to saturate ourselves in WORSHIP…in and out of the presence of God. I am not bragging on myself, but on the mercies of God in that I see the change and development of my own 14 year old daughter because of what she has “witnessed” me doing before the Lord in private…not what she has seen in public. I even see how what I have done in private and my prayers in my son’s presence despite his prior rants have produced. Sometimes you have to confront demonic influence with the light of Christ in action and not just words…Words in deed are powerful, but while our flesh would rather not succumb to “losing a fight” to win the battle…the light of Christ in us gives direct access to do just that…I don’t know who all will need this but in obedience to His leading…I submit. Love you all…be blessed…take it one day at a time and rejoice in every moment…Remember…there is a difference between trying and “making an effort”…The latter requires deliberate intention. If you feel led, share with mothers and fathers who might be in the valley of what they deem is the shadow of death…even in this place…shadows disapate when the light of God is introduced.