I’m sure I’d heard of the term “reconstruction” before, but when the gentlemen I spoke with the other day mentioned it referring to several home remodeling projects in the area, I understood things intimately. I began writing a post some time ago about being under construction.
However, if I’m honest, it was completely cliche and I just couldn’t bring myself to post it because I simply don’t fit the bill of “ordinary” by any sense of the word. So I scrapped it. Nonetheless, the word struck me still. I had been receiving words for a few weeks that I would be building my next home. Yet, really, I was receiving confirmation of the remodeling project that has already taken place in my life I suppose.
God reminded me in those few minutes of conversation about the wall around Jerusalem that had been torn down by years of attacks and neglect both from within and without…how even those who belonged there were forced into bondage because over time, there was little or no attention paid to the One who alone was able to protect them.
Life had torn me down physically, mentally, emotionally, and most recently financially. I sit here typing and I can’t help but smile at the finished product unfolds. I am beautiful inside and out. I am incredibly intelligent and gifted. I always had been, but my walls were broken down and I was robbed of my true self before. I could blame so many people including myself for some of the things I’ve endured, but who I won’t blame is God. He has truly never left me nor forsaken me. I, however, time and time again have turned my back on Him. Even within this year I have. I had no idea how many idols I’d built in His place: bills, men, loneliness, marriage, relationships, friendships, and even my children…
Still, today’s sermon reminded me that I, like Peter, needed to learn how to receive His grace for the mistakes I’d made…that in doing so I would then be able to strengthen my “brothers”…in my case…my sisters…
Had I possibly considered that what He showed me in a vision nearly eight years ago was coming to pass now, I would like to say I would not have failed Him. However, all the pain was necessary after all. How else would I be able to teach anyone else how to fish if I refused to take my own rod and reel to the lake.
Like the rebuilding process involved in literal reconstruction, what I witnessed was how an older and smaller house had been torn down, but in it’s place stood a grand structure fit for a kingdom. I realize now I’m fit just fine as I am now and even as I was then.
So no I’m not under construction anymore people, I’ve been reconstructed for purpose.
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