I cried in class today. I hadn’t planned to do so. I didn’t even cry when writing the piece I was required to read aloud. The assignment was to tell our story. As a writer I almost did the paper before even reading the assigned chapters because I thought it would be that easy.
I mean what’s two pages of me? I’ve had this blog for three years and I have shared bits and pieces since the beginning…
Beginnings can be so subjective.
Well, when I considered the topic from the week’s sermon and the topic from my life for the past few months, I should not have been shocked by the topic for the assignment bearing a name akin to both:
How has God redirected your life?
I had planned to write something totally different…yet, God saw fit to use this educational assignment as a means of confirming my spiritual one. It was also proven to be His opportunity to “right” mother’s story.
I found myself sharing how I was affectionately dubbed her shadow. I realized how much I missed her despite the diagnosis…Borderline Personality Disorder is not as fashionable as Bi-Polar or Schizophrenia I suppose. Yet, everything this week has led me back to her. Redirected yet again from “me time” to develop an understanding of “her time.”
Before I had already been conflicted as to whether a dedication page was enough room to convey a daughter’s love, and then I recalled God whispering, “make room for Daddy.” He alone would have to support me in this leg of the journey even more than He had before. As tears fell against my heart’s demand, I understood
So while the dialogue of my life’s script seems riddled with unfortunate events, I’m no victim. I was loved and for the first time in a long time, I sure it was never rejection, just redirection.
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