Better Not Bitter

Responding God's Way to Life's Challenges

Keep Pedaling, You Can’t Adjust the Level.

Well, today God showed me with His great sense of humor that I cannot go back to a lower level once I’d decided on my direction. You see I was on an exercise bike and though I’ve worked out regularly, I’ve been eating everything sweet I can get my hands on the last two weeks so my workouts before had been lazy at best.

Today I was on that bike and instead of picking manual as I had before, I picked “fat burn” and I decided that I wanted to get my heart rate really pumping so I was ambitious with the goal. Four minutes into that level I was already exhausted and I had a long way to go…so I tried to lower the level…four times I tried and each time it would only allow me to pause the session and pick right back up where I left off.

I was so tired I drank nearly all my water in ten minutes. The thing is this. This bike was stationary, but I’d chosen a distance and pre-set accomplishment to shed the weight.  I was unable to backtrack my level in the middle of the work out. And honestly, I was too embarassed to ask for help thinking that the machine was malfunctioning…

Basically, I learned two things from this situation. First, on the road to destiny sometimes it is necessary for you to sit still and say yes to the pre-planned coordinates to get the benefits the manufacturer knows you desire and need. Second,  you must also realize that once you’ve started taking the steps in the right direction, there is a point of no return…you cannot turn back…In fact, I only was able to briefly pause my workout…Yet, even those pauses worked against me because then the resistance seemed stronger. I say “seemed” because it was merely a perception error. Though the level had remained the same as it had been when I decided to take my first unscheduled break, it seemed as if the level had gotten harder with each pause.  In retrospect of what I exposed of my heart yesterday, I admit that even while working out I had been fighting whether I should receive after all…whether I am really ready for romance and beyond…whether I should continue to go it alone…

I stalled my progress and made my attempts to continue more painful in my workout  and I was preventing my leg muscles from properly adjusting to the new level because I essentially had been resisting the process. I don’t want that to be my story for love and divine partnership. I suppose this was God’s way of letting me know that now that I have taken the steps to decide to believe in love again that I couldn’t go back to the prior level without more pain so regardless of the fear, the courage He’s provided still gives me the strength to just keep pedaling.

©2016 Nadia Davis. All Rights Reserved.

Destiny Requires Disappointment

I  meant to post this last Sunday morning…but life happens…

Wow! God knows! I had so many other options on my heart prior to a moment ago…I woke up at 7 am…and I still walked into church nearly 30 minutes late…on my drive I heard an old school song I needed…”The Storm is Over Now” I should have expected it. So much has given me joy the last few days…Rather, throughout a burglary attempt I remained smiling…my daughter couldn’t understand why I was so happy when I shared the news with her that evening. I explained, it was Divine appointment! Months prior I’d already sought another residence without their knowledge and what I expected to take months to manifest had been accelerated. What I mean is that two days before the break in attempt, I received a call from the leasing agent at the apartment I’d sought telling me how they have a special to waive all deposits now and he remembered me. I know you’re wondering what does this have to do with disappointment? 

Well, just weeks before, I was overlooked for a position of which I know God led me. I was disappointed about 15 minutes and then I considered  the call God has on my life! Yes, I know God allowed me to apply…but He never confirmed I would receive the job…No God’s not pulling a bait and switch…just sometimes we can want to rush things so much that we allow our emotions dictate or actions…regardless, I gained clarity in the process…

The “job was too small for me! I would have been settling. Essentially I almost made the mistake of going back to Egypt instead of marching forward to my promised land…so in humble submission I understood that what I thought had been disappointment was a set up for Appointment!

Well that was that..and back tothis morning….ugh

This morning I was late because I tried to control my situation again…my son and I bumped heads and I knew he was attempting to stay home because he wanted to watch a football game. I knew because he woke up super early and asked me if he could stay home and stream the service instead. 
Stubbornness has its place, but I caused myself to get stressed over something trivial. Though I wanted to control his actions, I was confronted with the reality that he is technically grown. I raised him to honor the Lord, however, there are many things a single mom can not teach a son…He must learn on his own…so on my way to bible study I vowed not to cry in service…I refused to allow my heartbreak be evident because I knew it was a test…I expected it…with every ounce of good news…I expected the desperation of the enemy…

Funny thing is….I suppose the enemy failed to consider my desperation to do the will of God…that even the way I felt disrespected would only fuel a fire in me to be more intentional about the love I’d give to  my son…that I simply refuse to just hand over to the enemy the gift God gave me 18 years ago…Instead I relinquished my control back to the one who trusted me with him…”Bring the boy to me” echoed as I edged up Walnut Grove Rd. and that song played…”The Storm is Over now”

I still wrecked my make up, but when I entered the class and saw the title of the new series: The Disappointment Room…I knew the morning’s events had me housed there. Yet, tears dried and cracks in my heart mended by a few verses and a bridge…I crossed over and in my mind released him to Our Father. I knew I wasn’t alone. So I typed the beginnings of this message understanding my circumstances are merely prerequisites to my Promiseland because destiny requires disappointments.

Be ready or Get Left Behind

Just in time for a reminder…

Better Not Bitter

I had to teach my daughter an important lesson about timing this morning. When you’re not ready, you get left behind!


Now Kayla had been a hard sleeper since birth so I’m not surprised by her innate delays every morning…surprised no…annoyed YES!!!


I used to consider it a blessing she slept so hard though…I could have her hair done and have her fully clothed before breakfast when she was younger. The problem is she’s no longer a toddler! She can dress herself!

Sincerely this has become a major pet peeve…yet, while in times passed I’ve warned and waited…today I just left.


Today was the last straw…I even snatched the covers off before I decided my exit…
…and she had the nerve to mention what would Jesus do…my reply, Jesus would say get up!!! Take up your mat and walk!  Apparently she considered herself awake though she was still lazing in…

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Do I have the Grace to Begin Again?

Randomness…a candid conversation with me and My Heavenly Father…5 minutes of what it is…you’ve been warned…unedited


Do I have the grace to begin again?

It’s a question I ponder every now and then?

In between the mean time and his mean time?

Maybe to consider him gruff would be a bit too much.

I know his heart though to some he seems out of touch…

Type A definitely…me not so much…not Type B either

I just be me..that’s who I be…Type Nadia…but is his type ready for L.O.V.E.?

Me thinks the heart doth protest too much…think too much…desire to speak too much…

To hear him too much…prayers to cease them…those thoughts…those confirmations of sorts…not exactly unanswered…but responded…

Why push away what you desire? Say What? Now I’m under fire?

Yes, but I told you when you are in the fire you won’t be consumed…when you pass through the waters, I will be with you…

But daughter you’re hardheaded…you still are determined to do what you do…avoiding the clues…opting for all the “to do’s” thought I told you what “to don’t”  Yet, my love will never fail so I reserved him for you as I did you for he…Both of you are stubborn! Can’t you plainly see. Your own words sealed the fate. You knew it when you wrote them and you pressed send anyway. I get it daughter, you thought you’d use it in a great fairy tale…your life’s better than fiction because clearly I wrote it that way…you wrote one way…he wrote the same…you thought one thing…he the same…You should know by now that two are better than one and a suitable helper must be refined for my son. His armor is rusty because you are made for each other whether you choose to submit now or later…For my purpose in your union is so much greater…Yes, you are great because you represent me…but imagine the impact you both will have…for my world to see…My glory manifest from brokenness and fatigue…failed marriages, broken hearts, and at least two missing fiances….needed to put all my dots in line…It really didn’t have to take this long…but darling it’s about time…Shine and glow as only you can…strut your stilettos as I showed you to do so many years ago…he will definitely be in the audience cheering you on…just as you are his backer without him even requesting your favor…one day soon you both will enjoy the savor of a love you both though was dealt only to others…your similarities will help you buffer one another…so he’s not exactly your type! Need I remind you of your faulty selection process…I must tell you…I’ve too had to smooth your rough edges…So you might as well stop calling yourself a prophetic babe…you are fully aware of the price paid for false prophesy and you know that I don’t lie so why do you continue to doubt my hows and whys…Shouldn’t because I love you be enough…because I heard your cries and know that life’s been tough…You’ve worn a mask so long you thought the facade was real. Now that you refuse to compromise, I’ll introduce to you the love that is real…other than mine of course…you know contrary to popular opinion there some good men still out there…albeit a few…but Baby girl, remember I told you through my prophet before that any man won’t do!

©2016 Nadia Davis. All Rights Reserved.

Ladies, Tear off the Tag!

“Labels are sticky and hard to remove!” I remember when I first heard those words, I was captivated by them. It spoke to me because it seemed like whenever I found myself as an involuntary referee between my kids’ war of words, I would often say, “If you know you’re not “this or that,” why are you arguing over who you know you are not?

This morning I want to challenge you to consider tearing off the tag others may have placed on you! Your worth is not determined by what or who others decide to call you. Your worth was already predetermined as “fearless and wonderfully made” in “His image” and as the “apple of God’s eye” so there is no sense in even considering the words of the enemy! Yes, I said the enemy and I meant the enemy.  Now don’t get it twisted, that does not mean that the person who is attempting to “insult you” or bring you down is your enemy. The enemy uses those closest to you sometimes to discount who you are. Rather, when you allow yourself to believe the lies that are placed on you, you discount yourself.  It’s as if you are voluntarily putting yourself on sale to the lowest bidder.

Is that mess even worth your time, energy, or effort? If you think so, it shouldn’t be. I know for a long time I used to be overly concerned about what people thought of me… so much that I “dumbed” myself down to fit in with people who would never be on my level intellectually. I believed the lie. That was then and I’m so glad to embrace my now I could scream!  

I don’t have to worry about whether a person I meet calls me by my name or not because I know I will only answer to the name God gave me because it is the only one that applies. It took me a long time to get back to this place and in the meantime I’ve learned a lot about me. I’m not type A or Type B…I’m not really an introverted extravert…I just am who I am. So I guess I consider myself type Nadia! I mean I am the only me available on the planet so I’m pretty freakin’ special.  

Know that you are as well. Yes, people say this and that and some of the “things” about you may be  factual, but they don’t have to be true. I know some might wonder what I meant by that, but let me put it this way. It is a fact that I once acted very promiscuous, however, the truth is that my worth is still well above rubies…was then and is now…I just didn’t realize it before so yes, I sold myself short. Now, I know better so it’s my privilege to wait for God’s best.

You see somehow I loss sight of my royal connection…so glad to reclaim my royalty! I want you ladies to do the same…if you’re wearing your crown now…great….rock it well!  If not, allow God to pick you up and place it on your head where it belongs. That said, ladies tear off the tags because your worth is priceless!

Co-dependence: The Guilt that Keeps on Giving

So since tomorrow is the first day of Domestic Violence Awareness month, I considered this subject needed to be revisted…

Better Not Bitter

Today is a day of firsts! The first day of the month and the first day in over 12 years that I’ll dare set foot on the scene of the crime…the one that momentarily left me with the inability to feel I had a reason to smile like this: image

Yet…for no particular reason…I’ve learned to smile often…thankfully it’s no longer to hide pain, but to embrace promise, potential, and every opportunity within reach.

I accept what happened years ago as a learning opportunity…Albeit, physically painful and emotionally jarring I can finally agree that by God’s grace, I’ve thrived beyond domestic abuse…today is also the first day of Domestic Violence Awareness Month…so I pray every post going forward encourage a lifestyle a little freer than the day before…whether you consider yourself a victim of abuse…a former perpetrator of it, or someone stuck in between…I hope this post is a…

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The Satisfaction of Suffering

Yes Lovely Ladies, suffering is necessary. It is part of the refinement process. Some refinement takes longer than others dependent upon how tough the material being polished is before the process began.  Trials and disappointment have a tendency to give us thick skin…we get tough when we’re meant to be delicate.  That is by no means equated to weakness. In fact, a woman is most beautiful when she displays her strength by her reliance on the source of it…The One and Only God, Our Creator!

That said, despite the harshness of the process, the results are awesome! Ladies, we are simply better off yielding to the process of God’s discipline so we can learn to receive His grace and His uncommon love. In doing so, we release the essence of our most attractive self. Why? Because there is nothing more attractive than the real you! In fact, it is the best gift you can give to your significant other. However, you must submit to the process first.

 Suffering is but a momentary inconvenience in God’s eyes so do yourself a favor and adopt Your Daddy’s perspective! He’s a good, good Father and He will not allow you to suffer for longer than necessary.

NOT Again! Black Lives Still Matter

Hmmm…now I intentionally removed myself from social media for a while to refresh and to focus on my books and other business ventures…yet, in the last few days I’ve allowed myself to  indulge for maybe 30 minutes a day or so to play catch up. I wish I could say that it were not more of the same…yet, with one scroll the other day, I saw what I wish I hadn’t:

The shooting of another unarmed black man!

I said I wouldn’t write about it. Yet, as I attempted to reflect on what it meant to be God’showed beloved. As assigned, I relected on my reading of Tattoos on the Heart, meditate on Jeremiah 31, and spiritually discipline myself to explore one of many specific prayer approaches as assigned, I found fingers vomiting my pain on the keys I wrote…I shared…surprisingly, I didn’t cry this time…

As I perused section seven, I was tempted to attach myself to the Breath Prayer again. It was familiar and comfortable.  The labyrinth prayer seemed too complicated while the conversational prayer seemed far less intimate. I’d been a part of an intercessory prayer group a few years ago at my former church. We would meet once a week at 6 am and pray for our neighborhood, the members, the country, specific prayer requests, and the like.  It had been a while since I felt comfortable enough to join a group like that since my move. Yet, a few months ago, I was confronted with a situation that unfortunately mirrors the events of this week to my dismay. I joined hands in prayer during our bible study with those who didn’t look like me for the sake of intercession.

Another unarmed black man was gunned down by police and freedom of speech allowed the world to see it unfold. I wish I hadn’t been privy, but I and millions more were immediately embedded at the scene of the crime.  Crime, yes, it seems a suitable ploy to use deadly force, but since when is having a stalled car a crime? I remarked once before that God knew exactly when to allow me to live because had I lived during slavery, my outspoken butt would have surely been lynched.  I joked about the prospect of something like that happening now at the time, but the eyes in the sky depicted all too well that at least in some people’s minds nooses have all but taken on a different guise; one smaller, faster, and more potent. A bullet is a tiny thing, yet when fired in the wrong direction, it promises to do the heinous job…Hmm the job…Some say the officer was just doing her job, but I wonder when her job description morphed from serving and protecting to killing and neglecting. I wonder whether the bullets that escaped her resolver had merely been in safety mode in her heart for years prior to the moment she killed an unarmed father of four.  

Anger… No, I believe I’m beyond that phase now. I’m numb. I don’t know what’s worse: that I heard about it or that I saw it.  Perhaps it’s the fact that this father was slain quite possibly in front of his own four children…considering how quickly the news spread online I mean. I can only imagine the pain that gripped them.  So do we still have the right to remain silent? Do we have the right to remain aloof? Do we have rights at all in this country who replied “no” so long ago to the chains slavery promised? Oh of course not.  At least I can say that I wouldn’t because as an inevitable consequence, my blackness reminds me daily of the cries of my ancestors slain for just being. So I find myself wondering where I fit into this.  Why I fit into this? How can I get out of this? Where would I escape if I could? I have a son who likes to play basketball at the church near his high school.  There games usually last until after nightfall. I covered him yesterday morning because nightfall and blackness don’t mesh well nowadays. I even found myself smiling in relief that even at 18 he seemed more engulfed with video games than being outside. At least on video games the guns and blood spilled won’t require a eulogy when the game is over. Yet, Terrance was executed in broad daylight wasn’t he? So while I originally thought my prayer would be a breath prayer, I found myself breathless when I saw the footage. There were no words save, “My God!” I cringe at the thought that one day I could get that call or worse that I wouldn’t have to get the call because it would be plastered online and on the news.  My daughter said a while ago that if she had a loved one to die in some public and horrible way that she would not want to hear about it every time the same thing happens to another person.  She mentioned that those mourning the loss are inevitably trapped in a vicious cycle of perpetual grief because when Terrance was killed so was Alton.  And still when Sterling was murdered so was Philando and the list goes on. Oh wow, I almost forgot, the latest was Keith.  So my prayers this week have reluctantly transformed from breathless sighs to heart-piercing cries for intervention! I am sickened by the reality of which I live when I see direct evidence proving that Boyle’s pages are perhaps futile attempts to change that “lurking suspicion that some lives matter less than other lives.” Yet, I find safety in the knowledge that despite the carnage and disruption of culture and character in our nation, God’s word in Jeremiah 31 gave me hope that we would know Him intimately in the aftermath; that He would not punish us for the sins of our forefathers.

So with mercy that has been afforded me by my loving Heavenly Father I digress and choose to not do the same to those who do not share my skin’s hue. I recall the time when God first arrested my attention with the word that gave meaning to my last name. Beloved. When it was posed initially, it was a question. Will you be loved? In time I learned to receive and I agreed to be loved.  Now my prayer is how to show my nation to do the same.



Embrace what’s Right with you!

I’ve always been one to find errors immediately…on signs…in books…on television…in speech…I’ve had a knack for correcting things since I was seven…always considering other, better, and more efficient ways of doing most things I’ve observed. In fact, I have to purposely make myself not read my posts at times because I can’t help making the corrections (I know there are errors- for now😇)…so if you have eagle eye for errors…you’ll notice some…at least for the last year I’ve been intentional that way…I use ellipses often so I’m not bound to the tight writing in most things I prefer to read…I attempt to use slang…it started because of a meeting of minds I experienced just over a year ago…I was told to stop editing myself…I’ve tried…for months I failed…I hadn’t fully surrendered then…

Fast foward to my now…I realize what I used to call a curse a blessing…that my keen attention to detail…about something being slightly off center…or the use of words like “lie” instead of “lay” when a reference is made to an object an obvious error to me a plus…how even when I was a child I boldly corrected my teacher for telling us there had been only seven types of dinosaurs…I was seven…she should have known better and since she didn’t act like it, I raised my hand and told her so. I was respectful still…unconvinced she got my drift when she insisted I was wrong in front of the class, I brought to school the encyclopedia I’d become fascinated with by age four to show her how wrong she had been indeed…expecting an apology Mrs. Turner just refused to like anything else about me that year…I suppose then as I do now…I expect honesty…to me her excuse that she lied to us was because our grade level would not have been able to understand that much didn’t make sense… I did…so I suppose that’s when the lie that I shouldn’t be so smart was planted…shortly thereafter I was told to be shy…called shy, but God made me to be bold…

I understand now how much of a disservice I’ve done myself and those I’ve met over the years because I chose to dumb myself down for fear of rejection…

I’m not speaking from a place of regret, but of awareness. I understand that a well-rounded education requires pits in the process so I’m grateful for the transition now that I’m seeing it from the other side…

Necessary Evils they are...those lies planted by the enemy in the guise of well-meaning elders or not so well-meaning bullies…those who might have called you fat or ugly because of the beauty others saw in you or that you once saw in yourself was too much for them to compete with so they chose to beat you up because they wouldn’t dare fathom the insurmountable task of perhaps asking instead, “where do you get that joy? How can I be like you?” I know all too well that bullying doesn’t stop with high school or even college…that if you believe the lie that you’re weird, stupid, not good enough…it doesn’t take long for one to find you.

Bet you didn’t consider yourself your own bully, huh? Yep, too often do we become our own biggest critic because someone in our lives posted something…said something or perhaps didn’t say something we thought they should have…regardless of how the seed was planted…we still have a choice…

All are the result of choices…my wholeness is one choice I had to make myself…no input of naysayers or any others…I had to decide to be me…to love me…to receive all God designated for me…to embrace everything right with me...I wouldn’t say I’m a genius, but I truly believe God’s blessed me with the ability to do anything well…He gifted me with the ability to see the errors because He knew I’d be instrumental in changing the scope of His world…attention to the details of the forgotten ones has always been my draw…I was the one to befriend the new kid…to still speak kindly to the one everyone talked about…I was the one wondering the why behind their condition…

I can laugh now because even then God had been forming my heart of compassion for the broken…for the unchurched…for those in church, but feeling shunned…even those so weakened by church hurt they refuse to go back…I used to think I was too sensitive…that I shouldnt care so much…

I’m so glad Ive shattered that depiction of me…that I realize my love for others is a gift from God…and how the pain of who I was pretending to be was what was really hurting me all along. Being who you are is the only way you will ever be truly whole.

I understand while people may murmur about the things I do for others when at times I have nothing to spare but time is just part of who I am. 

So when I consider all the things that I observe other ladies and gents doing to adapt to “societal”norms, I have to wonder whether the only change necessary is one’s perspective of said society. Rather, perhaps what needs to be adapted is the minds of those individuals…then they will see themselves as God sees them…No, not as those who “say” they represent Christ sees them, but they will know they’re seen with mercy and compassion…seen as His beloved.

That said, focusing on what’s wrong is overrated…from now on do yourself a favor and embrace what’s right with you!

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