Better Not Bitter

Responding God's Way to Life's Challenges

Leave It in Last Year!

Dear 2017,

Our relationship is over. Our parting is bittersweet, but necessary. You have taught me so much about myself! I’ve been emotional, but I toyed with the notion of becoming numb again because “feeling” for my own sake hadn’t been my usual if that makes sense. Whether it does or not, know that in the last few months I’ve grown more comfortable with the idea of “feeling” for my sake. I like making decisions without worrying whether it is “okay” with everyone else first.  I’ve gotten real acquainted with the freedom of saying, “No!” So I guess that’s definitely something to thank you for 2017!

You offered a few situations that almost convinced me to close the door to my heart but God’s love kept me thawed!  I am more sure than ever of who I need to partner with for my destiny to be fulfilled. Better than that, I’ve learned who I deserve and my worth. I’ve become keenly aware of the times and ways I’ve settled for less and I’m just not doing that anymore.

A Year of Mended Souls

I’m mended! A chance meeting with a few ladies turned into a life long relationship of healing and wholeness. I shared things I’d never shared with another and felt safe there. This was the beginning of a “breaking.” The breaking was required and I am so thankful for those tears and cheers. That breaking helped me make room in my heart for a few other ladies that I consider very near and dear to my life. I thank God for His freeing grace to allow me to breathe in true friendship and to understand how to be a real friend. I’ve learned that true friendships require vulnerability. I’m more confident in God’s choices for me.

Needs Turned Into Desires

I was able to reconsider my preferences for my future husband. Certain character traits I thought I couldn’t live with have grown on me I suppose and others I thought I couldn’t live without don’t matter as much. I need and desire complete honesty with whomever God has chosen and before it seemed I lost sight of that. I settled. No more. I’ve grown.

My ability to hear God’s voice heightened because of you 2017! Though I still struggled with silencing the voice of my “inner me” at times, I finally see myself the way God sees me. I have my moments. They’ve become fewer and fewer. I’ve been intentional with my comings and goings and those whom I allow in my circle. My circle’s gotten ironically snug with less people. I’m so cool with that. I’m more comfortable in my skin…just being with people who get me…even with those who don’t, but don’t judge me for just being.


Pride and Patience...

The saga continues…however, I’m finally allowing myself to receive more of God’s grace for slip ups and go offs…Hey, I still have moments.

I Can See Clearly Now!

Yes, it’s cliche but also a fact….found out the reason I felt like I was going blind at night was because my vision had indeed changed. I have astigmatism and I needed to get some special contacts to see clearer….I realize that’s been true even in my physical and emotional contacts. I’ve grown quite attached to  a few people I now consider an extended family. You’d think I’d known these ladies all my life, but God knew I needed new contacts to replace those who clouded my vision the year before. I’m grateful for God’s grace to reunite me with with my sisters across the bridge too. God has again proven His faithfulness in providing who I need when I need them.

A Year of Packing and Unpacking

It seems I’ve been a nomad for years, but 2017, you  really had me in a tug-o-war with whether the place God planted me nearly three years ago was meant for me. I can laugh now at the notion to “break camp,” but yeah I wanted to uproot myself again and head elsewhere because vulnerability hadn’t been my strong suit though I tried. Did I mention patience wasn’t either? Oh yeah…still a work in PROCESS! Still, I’m glad I stuck around so far. It’s given me time to consider “ME”….something I hadn’t done for far too long…I’m glad for the connections and disconnections you brought.

I can now see a counterfeit coming a mile away. Most keep their distance and I’m grateful for My Father making me BS repellent. LOL…I’m extra…I couldn’t resist.

Still, I thought I’d put away many of my insecurities before, but 2017 you showed me that I’d only packed them up. I hadn’t moved them out of my mind, heart, and life yet. So just as I gave away things I’d accumulated from others last week, I did the same to homeless emotions and disappointments. I had no more room for lies like these:

You’re not pretty enough!

You’re too old to start over!

You’re not his type!

It will just be another marriage of convenience!

He could never love you for who you are!

You bore everyone to tears when you speak!

Who would ever read your books!

You never finish anything you start!

You’re just like your mother!

You are a horrible mother!

You’re a liar!

You’re selfish!

You look like a cheetah without make-up, who’d want you?

You’ll always be broke!

Take the hint, his actions show that God lied to you about him!

You are not meant for marriage!

I didn’t just pack them and move them to a different spot in my head or heart this time. I signed, sealed, and delivered it right back to where it belonged: The pit of Hell marked: 



Those lies are no longer my property. I don’t want them and they were never mine to own. I just allowed those things to fill the gaps where God’s Word and Presence were meant to give me peace before. Now I have that peace and that rest. Still, I almost allowed this year to past without embracing it fully. I regret nothing.  I realize I cannot go into anything new without being able to handle it with care…I must pay attention to the details and I must see what God has shown…I can no longer see and deny what I’ve seen because of insecurities and doubts. They have no place in my new year…

Spills, Dropped Keys, and Closed Doors!

The last few days, 2017 you reminded me to “take my time” over and over again.  Yet, it seemed I could not walk two steps without spilling something, dropping something, or allowing something to overflow as I poured. I was rushing for no reason…allowing things to fall out of my hands…Who knew that was all God was trying to get me to do all long…let go…allow things to fall where they would…to take my time…to leave the rest to Him…

I’m loving the thought of being able to drop everything and rest in God’s Presence before I can start over.  I learned even the hard moments I’ve had with my son and daughter in 2017 were worth the smiles we’ve shared when I forgive and move on…this is unconditional…it’s getting easier for me to love blindly…I’m okay with being reckless with my love and I am more aware that what I have to offer is worthy of God’s best. I’m confident I will receive nothing less than that now.

In fact, I was able to close the door on one romantic relationship I thought I’d already been over a long time ago. I wasn’t healed until the moment I was confronted with the need to kill it two months ago. I would not have been ready to face that door a moment sooner than it came. God knew when I was ready to lock it forever. I mastered my first grown-up Good bye! No tears…No harsh words…just peace and distance.

Not Unfinished…Just a New Direction

With that, this is a long letter, but an even longer-awaited farewell, 2017. So to all the un-kept promises, unmet goals, unsaid words, and unplanned agendas, unrequited love, and unpublished works,  I won’t say I’ll see you later because I won’t. I’m choosing to start from scratch, take my time, and allow God’s Peace and Presence continue to fill in the gaps to my process. I guess this means I’m leaving you 2017 and everything attached to you in last year!

©2018 Nadia Davis. All Right reserved.

Who This Lady Needs

Almost  four months ago I posted this message:

Who This Lady Wants!

I mentioned I started the post about two months prior then, but hey I was wrong. The other day I came across almost the same words in an old journal…so I suppose my heart has been pondering not just my desires, but my needs for a long, long while….thought I’d share:


Someone who is sincerely appreciative of my presence…Someone not led by others’ preferences…Someone sure of himself enough to express his honest views…Someone who is not afraid to admit his own issues…Someone who doesn’t mind my innate extroversion…Someone who recognizes I complement his quiet disposition…Someone who is able to give freely without remorse…Someone willing to allow love to take its course…Someone who isn’t led by the things and places money can acquire…Someone wise enough to know all things must expire…Someone whose heart is knit to Our Father…Someone who takes seriously his role of loving God’s daughter…Someone who listens without judgement to things I’ve experienced along the way…Someone who seeks to understand my heart and assures me he’ll stay…

©2017 Nadia Davis. All Rights Reserved.



Embrace What’s Right with YOU!

I’ve always been one to find errors immediately. On signs…in books…on television…in speech…I’ve had a knack for correcting things since I was seven…always considering other, better, and more efficient ways of doing most things I’ve observed. In fact, I have to purposely make myself not read my posts at times because I can’t help making the corrections (I know there are errors- for now😇)…so if you have eagle eye for errors…you’ll notice some…at least for the last year I’ve been intentional that way…I use ellipses often so I’m not bound to the tight writing in most things I prefer to read…I attempt to use slang…it started because of a meeting of minds I experienced not long ago…I was told to stop editing myself...I’ve tried…for months I failed…I hadn’t fully surrendered then…

That post is right here

Fast forward to my now…I realize what I used to call a curse a blessing…that my keen attention to detail…about something being slightly off center…or the use of words like “lie” instead of “lay” when a reference is made to an object an obvious error to me a plus…how even when I was a child I boldly corrected my teacher for telling us there had been only seven types of dinosaurs…I was seven…she should have known better and since she didn’t act like it, I raised my hand and told her so. I was respectful still…unconvinced she got my drift when she insisted I was wrong in front of the class, I brought to school the encyclopedia I’d become fascinated with by age four to show her how wrong she had been indeed…expecting an apology Mrs. Turner just refused to like anything else about me that year…I suppose then as I do now…I expect honesty…to me her excuse that she lied to us was because our grade level would not have been able to understand that much didn’t make sense… I did…so I suppose that’s when the lie that I shouldn’t be so smart was planted…shortly thereafter I was told to be shy…called shy, but God made me to be bold…

I understand now how much of a disservice I’ve done myself and those I’ve met over the years because I chose to dumb myself down for fear of rejection

More about that one is here:

I’m not speaking from a place of regret, but of awareness. I understand that a well-rounded education requires pits in the process so I’m grateful for the transition now that I’m seeing it from the other side…

Necessary Evils they are...those lies planted by the enemy in the guise of well-meaning elders or not so well-meaning bullies…those who might have called you fat or ugly because of the beauty others saw in you or that you once saw in yourself was too much for them to compete with so they chose to beat you up because they wouldn’t dare fathom the insurmountable task of perhaps asking instead, “where do you get that joy? How can I be like you?” I know all too well that bullying doesn’t stop with high school or even college…that if you believe the lie that you’re weird, stupid, not good enough…it doesn’t take long for one to find you.

Bet you didn’t consider yourself your own bully, huh? Yep, too often do we become our own biggest critic because someone in our lives posted something…said something or perhaps didn’t say something we thought they should have…regardless of how the seed was planted…we still have a choice…

All are the result of choices…my wholeness is one choice I had to make myself…no input of naysayers or any others…I had to decide to be me…to love me…to receive all God designated for me…to embrace everything right with me...I wouldn’t say I’m a genius, but I truly believe God’s blessed me with the ability to do anything well…He gifted me with the ability to see the errors because He knew I’d be instrumental in changing the scope of His world…attention to the details of the forgotten ones has always been my draw…I was the one to befriend the new kid…to still speak kindly to the one everyone talked about…I was the one wondering the why behind their condition…

I can laugh now because even then God had been forming my heart of compassion for the broken, for the un-churched, for those in church, but feeling shunned…even those so weakened by church hurt they refuse to go back…I used to think I was too sensitive…that I shouldn’t care so much…

I’m so glad I’ve shattered that depiction of me…that I realize my love for others is a gift from God…and how the pain of who I was pretending to be was what was really hurting me all along. Being who you are is the only way you will ever be truly whole.

I understand while people may murmur about the things I do for others when at times I have nothing to spare but time is just part of who I am.

So when I consider all the things that I observe other ladies and gents doing to adapt to “societal”norms, I have to wonder whether the only change necessary is one’s perspective of said society. Rather, perhaps what needs to be adapted is the minds of those individuals…then they will see themselves as God sees them…No, not as those who “say” they represent Christ sees them, but they will know they’re seen with mercy and compassion…seen as His beloved.

That said, focusing on what’s wrong is overrated…from now on do yourself a favor and embrace what’s right with you!

©2017 Nadia Davis. All Rights Reserved.

Your Sweet Tooth May Just Kill You!

Wow…I know…pretty morbid title…but now that I have your attention…this is just a public service announcement or reminder:

The enemy doesn’t have to kill you if he can convince you to do it for him!

As much as I love to bake sweet treats, I’ve come to realize how much my inability to pump my brakes on my consumption of sugar has impacted my health. This little info graph is interesting: 

I’m not trying to make you fearful. I’m learning to be more disciplined with my consumption of a lot lately so I thought I’d pass it along. Though my vitals are always great, I know that when I reduced my water intake and increased my sugar and caffeine why it seemed I wasn’t actually as able to rest properly, was fatigued constantly, and felt like I went back through puberty. Stress and the inflammation caused by too much sugar and too little watee had dramatically upset the balance in my body and what was toxic on the inside was showing up on the outside. And yes folks. I give Glory to God for this revelation too! Yes. There are studies out there…yes I read a lot and research more, but God brought back to my remembrance a radio program I used to listen to when I was in AR that discussed natural alternatives to reverse the diseases our culture has created. 

I thought about that show and desired to find it, but didn’t know where to start so so did nothing. But God allowed a link to the very info I needed to come to my phone a couple nights later. That info got me off to a great start because while I’m big on  taking vitamins and supplements…they were no longer doing what they should because my liver had become toxic. Though it’s been almost a decade since I’ve abused alcohol, God showed me I traded one addiction for another by going overboard on the sugar and caffeine. The damaging effects of sugar are mindnumbing…The price of so-called maintenance medications for preventable diseases like high cholesterol, high blood pressure, and diabetes, if nothing else is my motivation for getting myself on a better health track. 

In short though…INFLAMATION IS EXACERBATED BY TOO MUCH SUGAR…SO AUTOIMMUNE DISEASES LIKE ECZEMA, PSORIASIS, ASTHMA AND OTHERS ARE WORSENED DESPITE TOPICAL AND OR SURGICAL PROCEDURES…Arthritis, gout, boils, acne…hyper sensitivity to the sun makes you more susceptible to cancer...I mean basking outside all day in my yard working with flowers was my tranquil time with God for years. I would literally stay out there for hours with no problems, but then I began to burn like crazy the moment I stepped outside and sunscreen didn’t help. I was confined to my house because I’d become as mu cousin would say, a vampire…I now know I needed to detox my liver and my life of drama…all of these ailments are linked back to sugar and stress. I’m not putting anyone at fault here. Back then, the sun sensitivity should have clued me in, but I chopped it up to aging.  But God created our bodies to be resilient…if losing weight and getting active could reverse arthritis in my back, of course I know God has given me access to this info to keep this body in top shape and function…

So back my sugar rollercoaster…I was doing so well for about a month saying no to sweets. Then last week happened. I suppose it started with a lack of sleep that led to coffee that led to a sugar overload the next few days because the office had a conference room full of free goodies. It took me a few days to notice the changes in my skin, but by that 4th day it was apparent the sugar needs to go again…I wanted my glow back! By now I knew that make up wasn’t what I needed…even God’s led me to get certain types of that lately! Seriously, God desires you at your best and He will provide the means!

I thought about the moment I declared aloud, 

I don’t know how to stop once I start

That was when the temptation was greater and the offer was made when I happened to leave my lunch at home that first day. It’s as if the enemy sought to bring me exactly what I wanted because I mentioned this clue. I’m not knocking my bosses for giving us access to the treats, but I am aware of the tricks of the enemy. I know I need to be healthy to be more effective in ministry and while I held my own a while, when I was thirsty and hungry I fell off….

 I will say it’s been a wonderful life at home with my kids not having all that soda around. My daughter’s eczema improved.  Of course, I know when she cheats with sugar at school because it shows. Yet, my son is less anxious and I’m just cool. This is where I used to be and where I want to stay…I want my soul to prosper because that is what God wants…I want my children’s souls to prosper…I want my husband’s soul to prosper…And sometimes that means cutting out what you can’t handle yet, asking God to strengthen your resolve to refuse what the enemy is offering, and to develop a taste for His chosen alternative. 

“It would be easier if the devil would just say, here I’ve baked you up a lovely batch of poison because I want you to kill yourself one cookie at a time!”

But that’s not how he rolls…it’s not temptation if you don’t want it, is it? Moving on…

The bottom line is you must be willing to think before you consume that which is provided because while all good gifts come from the Lord, all gifts arent from Him. Recall how Jesus was tempted with bread when he was hungry. Moreover, stress was a major culprit for my lack of balance. I was constantly on edge at one point worried about my son because he’d been really rebellious for a while, but deep down God showed me He just needed me to listen to him when he spoke…to not try to remedy his issue…besides Jesus said, “give the boy to me!” That was a while ago, but what I just noticed is that 

Sooo now I’m getting back on  track to stay that way and I admonish you to do the same. After all, you really do only live once on this side of heaven so might as well make it last! 

Ladies, Be Chosen by the Right King!

I’m still full from today’s discussion at church…this first installment of what a woman wants, what a man needs has been great confirmation for some of the things and paths God’s working in and through my life.

When my pastor mentioned how women need affection he hit just the tip of the iceberg because baaaby…the rest that followed felt like this dude had been peeking through the pages of my journal!

Still, it was refreshing to be in an atmosphere where I realized why all this time I’ve been so particular about my standards…and nooo I’m still not budging on ’em either…I have lived long enough to know EXACTLY WHAT I DON’T WANT…and that knowledge has paved the way for me discovering what I need!

When he mentioned, she wants to be adored…that hit home…now I know why for years I’d be hung up on all these romantic comedies…there was always this surrealism I wanted to taste. I probably at some point have mentioned in previous writings about how that stuff on the screen is selling false hope or something like that, but the more I get acquainted with the real me I’m convinced those type of romances do exist…of course it’s not going to happen immediately…well, actually given what I’ve experienced in my last year or so, I think once you get a revelation of who God has for you, that process can take longer…trust me…it’s been a long winding path for this chick, but every time I get to a place and think, “why bother with this love crap, it isn’t reciprocal!” God reminds me of how long and hard He loved me before I began to reciprocate it.

I can only hope my future spouse loves me half as much as God has shown me over the years and I’ll die and utterly satisfied young lady. That said, let me get to my point…just because a man’s head is big enough to fit a crown, doesn’t mean he is worthy to receive one…The bible states the virtuous wife is the crown of her husband’s head…Understand that if he is not able to receive what you are ready to offer, it might be time to move on.

Notice, I said might.

I say might because sometimes what you think is denial is merely delay…and delay is really perfect timing. I’ve said before God’s given me too many confirmations for me to deny with the one I’m supposed to be with, but still we both have a choice in the matter.

My pastor even mentioned a few weeks ago how God’s not going to force you to pick up your mantle.  That said, the things I’ve experienced in my heart have been interesting…at times I feel like this waiting game is like watching paint dry and at other times I get paranoid considering I am to do or say when things shift forward as I perceive they will?

And then there’s the meantime…okay I promise I have a point…that segway where frogs present themselves as princes….

Thankfully, now I see ’em coming a mile away, but doesn’t the devil knows how to dress ’em up though?

…all the things I thought I wanted…the height, the physique, the complexion—yeah I went there— but today as I almost began to OVERTHINK my process for the 100th time again…and I heard the whisper…


I thought I had…BOTTOM LINE…LADIES, consider the Right Kingly attributes…God outlined it to Moses…Check out DEUTERONOMY 17:14-20.

And of course learn to wait well.

©2017 Nadia Davis. All Rights Reserved.

This I Know

Over the years, God has allowed me to be humbled by stupid decisions. Some of which I’ve observed in others, but most of them have been from my own shenanigans.

That said, I find myself second guessing too much lately. That’s not a good thing folks. I know God’s blessed me with discernment, but memories of past mistakes can wreak havoc on an otherwise sound decision if I allow it.

So how exactly does one overcome the knowledge of oneself?

….Or I guess a better assessment might be to say, “How do I forget what’s behind and push forward to the mark of my higher calling!”

I’ll tell you…by knowing the character of God…

You might have noticed some days my words seem a bit more random than others, but I admit even those aren’t. Intentionality is God’s fingerprint. In the last few weeks, God has proven Himself over and over. It’s been a while since I’ve been real with Him in prayer…You know actually admitting my confusion and frustration…actually crying out to Him for direction and being willing to get somewhere and SAT down…to wait for a response…AND YES I MEANT TO SAY “SAT.”

Moving on…

Regardless, God is faithful and though some of my desires have not manifested yet, I have to consider this thing as it is and not as it will be: temporary…a test…a challenge…a laughing matter directing me to my future.

I mean some of the things I have endured…especially in the romance arena have been downright hilarious! Still, I am in awe at the ways God has taught me lessons I feel like I should have known a LONG…LONG time ago.

So I say I’ll wait for a response…for an acknowledgement…to be adored…to be desired…because God patient enough to wait for me…I’m sure my wait will be worth it…

If I know so little else…This I know.

©2017 Nadia Davis. All Rights Reserved.



This Open Book

I’ve said for a while I’m an open book. This morning I’ve contemplated that premise and confirmed in my heart that there are still pages within soldered with tears. Those leaves are reserved for the few willing and able to be patient enough to carefully separate the two or three or thousand that to the naked eye appear in tact.

So while there’s no lock on this book and the experiences therein, there are still sections melded in a quiet pain only a delicate touch, a passionate heart, and an understanding mind can receive access. So this book struggles to complete chapters destined to be re-written in the thoughts and behaviors of the vessel meant to house them.

Friendships are hard.

Love is harder.

Vulnerability is menacing in none but a required way.

So I’m forced to consider whether I am willing to bring to his attention those pages I have yet to uncover. I stand still, frozen in ice too thick for vision to penetrate. I still long to share, but… Just but. The opportunity rises and falls with attitudes and emotions, but the longing refuses to cease her whisper. Destiny denies the ability to retract her request.

Wisdom speaks…breaking the white noise of monotony…

I stand still. I crouch. I hide.

Temptation lurks, but fails to convince her to close the book this time…

Her desire to know him and to be known by him is stronger.

Clarity…as my innermost inklings are revealed…

so I must submit to the process…

©2017 Nadia Davis. All Rights Reserved.

And when I rested..

And when I rested…restoration appeared. I began this message personally to my choir director, but as so many have before, this message too morphed into what it is: ministry.

“The song you wrote and ministered was exactly what I needed today…I know it and the message was also the reason the enemy was so determined to stop me from staying for service. Thank You!”

I needed that reminder to worship everyday.

The other day I asked myself what was the difference with my then and now…

How was I able to face demonic influences head on without a second thought before, but in my own home now struggle to divide the spirit from my son so that I may continue to love him as he deserves?

God reminded me.  My atmosphere changed. I began my days and ended them with my own worship service before. In everything I gave thanks just because I remembered when. The difference was that regardless of where I was physically or even mentally, worship kept my mind,body, and soul above the elements that sought to distract me in a given moment.

The enemy sought to drive a wedge between the beating of my heart and righteous discipline today. I allowed myself to react and not respond. I listened to the negativity instead of the truth. I’d grown tired of waiting for my thorn to disappear. At one point in my anger and pain I was led to consider him as that thorn.  Guilt followed this assumption until this very moment. I didn’t want to despise him for the disrespect.  I didn’t want to neglect his heart though in reality I’d already neglected my own by allowing certain things transpire.

And so the Father showed me the beauty for ashes in a trailer…my life’s script and that of my son’s has already been completed and only the Director knows has access to the final product. Still He’s allowed me to see the previews. This keeps me intrigued. Many of the outtakes will be laughable in time.

Frustration and stress took over for a moment…Moments are such bittersweet elements of time…and as I sat in the latter service listening…I heard Him more clearly than I had in a while…

Yes, daughter, he is a thorn, but one of many

For this reason I know as with Paul’s request, removal is not an option.  And before I could muster a protest over the honor due me, God’s response,still barely above a whisper, beckoned,

I love you too much to leave you unprotected

Immediately a rose came to mind…

My thorns will force those who are meant to walk with me to handle me with care…

Those thorns protect me from predators who have no intention adding to my life…those, who seek to deplete me of my potential for growth are required to halt…yet, most importantly my thorns keep me humble…my thorns drive me to the Presence of my God…

So had all my thorns been removed, I would die a victim of prideful self-sufficiency…so I’ve learned to not give up by giving up…I’ve learned to worship in spite of…to surrender.

And when I rested…He restorred…Selah

©2017 Nadia Davis. All Rights Reserved.


You Will Get There

“Let’s go to the other side.” Those were Jesus’ words to His disciples moments before  two paradoxical events occurred: Jesus went to sleep and the biggest storm the disciples could have imagined threatened to take them out! I like how the NIV states: Jesus was sleeping on a cushion.

To put it plain…sure He knew the storm would come, but He also knew what He’d already said too…so Jesus was straight “chillaxing”…

Sometimes in life we go through storms just after God’s told us we’re getting to the other side not because He doesn’t know the next step, but to show you whether you really trust Him enough to know that come what may, you will make it to your appointed destination.

As soon as the disciples sought the Lord, He calmed the storm. Notice Jesus was with them all along, but they still panicked. Their panic led them to call on Him when Jesus’ mere presence should have been sufficient to  provide them the peace they needed to endure the rough waters. Jesus calmed the storm by saying “quiet, be still”as He has done to the storms I’ve encountered.

I used to fret like the disciples, but now I know better because Jesus is with me, I know I’m  getting to the other side.

So no matter how fierce your situation may be now, if Jesus is with you, know you too will get there.

©2017 Nadia Davis. All Rights Reserved.

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