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Better Not Bitter

Responding God's Way to Life's Challenges

Change the Course!!!

I came across this I wrote four years ago, but it is more prevalent in my life today than ever…read and share…

Change the Course! Something struck me as incredibly odd the other day. I’d come to a railroad crossing and there had been about five cars in front of me waiting in line for a supposed train. The lights were flashing and the rail arm had been down, but, there was no train. After a few minutes, the impatience of four of the five cars took the chance of crossing the tracks despite the warning. Shortly after those few cars bypassed, the other side began doing the same thing narrowly missing each other. The first car that had been waiting, now sat directly in front of me and though he was in full view of either side of the tracks he didn’t budge. Well, after hearing about all the derailments and train/car matchups that didn’t really match up, I’d already made up my mind that I wasn’t budging either. I was okay with waiting. Well, apparently the cars behind me didn’t feel the same way and then began swinging out and doing just as the other cars had before, taking their chances with the tracks. Shortly thereafter, the car who’d been sitting there cautiosly eyeing the track in both directions slowly inched out and across the tracks to the other side as well. Now ten mins had gone by and yes, normally I probably would have been a bit impatient myself, but I decided another alternative. I backed up and turned around. Now, perhaps had my children not been in the car, I would have done that a lot sooner or I may have even dared to to the same thing that I’d seen instead of daring to be different. Yet, the funny thing is that when I stepped out and changed the course in my direction, everyone who was behind me, did the same thing.

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The point to this little anecdote is not to get you paranoid about the railroad crossings (though–true story–a girl I met last night had actually been hit by a train in a car and survived–note of caution), but to push you to have the courage to do something different to benefit you and those you love instead of sticking to what seems like the quickest and most popular route. It would have been an awful mess had the train plowed over those vehicles. Yet, I had sense enough to “examine the situation for what it is (dangerous and foolish), back up(hindsight does not have to be 20/20 when the obvious is right in front of you), and take a new course of action( I still made it to my destination—and sooner than some of the other cars because they’d been backed up in traffic from following the others). Remember,changing your course is not just about you, but about everyone who’s behind you.

©2012-2016.  Nadia Davis.  All rights Reserved.

Rehearse Your Greatness

I remember a while back when I worked in corporate America, we would have weekly team meetings to discuss our progress. There was only one issue… Though the company as a whole was #2 in the country..rarely were we ever told of our progress in these meetings! It was more of a bash session…completely depressing and not something to look forward to at all.  At one meeting in particular my manager was going down the laundry list of what we did wrong and I had to say something!

So like all good little employees, I raised my hand and waited to be acknowledged..”ugh did we do anything right?” Of course some of my team laughed, but the rest kind of nodded in agreement. I can’t really recall much after that, but not too long afterwards when we had one on one meetings, management began using the good, better, and best technique…you know talking about what we did well, what we could have done to improve, and the best thing we did. I can’t say that my comment sparked that change definitely, however, the same something inside of me that refused to listen to all the negativity someone else tried to bash me with then is the same person I am now…only wiser..I say wiser because now I have sense enough to know what NOT to allow into my atmosphere. That said, though you cannot control what people say about you, you can decide on what you will say to yourself. It makes absolutely no sense for you to be against you!

Ask yourself: Am I the deterrent to my own destiny?

Be honest and consider this message your wake up call because God has already told you you’re fearfully and wonderfully made…you are His beloved…you CAN DO all things through Christ who strengthens you.

So are you the one mishandling your mouth and speaking death into a situation where God has promised life? 

Singles…Maybe the time has come for God to send you “the one” but instead of rehearsing your greatness, you are muttering lies instead…

Let me give you a few toxic thoughts that poison your path to purpose with regards to relationships….

LIES YOU TELL YOURSELF:

         “This always happens to me, no one will ever treat me right” 

          “I’ll never find the love of my life!”

          “No one ever listens to me!”

REMEDIES YOU NEED TO EMPLOY:

How about “YOU” START TREATING “YOU” RIGHT FIRST! When you begin to treat “YOU” right, you set a precedent! You will not settle for less and your outlook of others will be more positive. You’ll understand that if someone tries to do wrong by you, that it is his or her loss, you will be able to forgive quickly, and you will be able to leave a bad situation with your head and heart intact.

How about you realize that as a child of God you already have the love of your life through Christ! God loves you so much, He died to prove it! Understand that another human being IS NOT MEANT TO COMPLETE YOU!!! In fact, two halves make a whole only in math…when God inspired the text saying, “and the two become one,” He means TWO WHOLE people come together and be as one unit with time and effort…husbands and wives are meant to complement one another while only God can complete either of them.

God left nothing out when He created you…

In fact, two halves in marriage equal He’ll not Holiness…trust I’ve lived through it…not once, but twice! I simply refuse to allow myself to be unequally yoked and you shouldn’t either…whether friend or man…real talk!

How about you take the time to listen to others first! As a speaker, this is something I have had to learn. I’m still learning this. Just Listen! When you listen to others, you are being intentional and that subconsciously gives others permission to do the same.

The bottom line is that if you don’t take the time to rehearse to yourself all the good about you,the alternative is relying on others to mislabel you…labels are sticky and hard to come off, but oil can remove anything and yes will make you shine.

Just being healed is not enough…you must be whole…Allow the Holy Spirit to show you the root of your bitterness and help up dig it up. Ask Him to guide you in ways to allow the good seed sown in you through the hearing and studying of His word to germinate and grow.

Know that God created a wonderful being when He created you…He told you…I’m telling…Now try telling yourself.

Fix that Door and Move On!

Laughter is my best medicine. I must find the funny in everything to function and no, I’m not mental!

So…basically, I planned to go to bowling the other day…was dressed and for a change would have actually been on time (the Lord is yet working on me in this area)

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Anyway…I go to open the door to leave and there I am all dolled up (yep, I’m a bit girlie girl)…purse and keys in one hand, the door knob in the other…considering my options…

So I decided to break out my tools…yes and I know how to use them.SwaggerGirl_Cape

So finally I get to the point of my title…I couldn’t leave until I fixed the door…

It made me consider my current relational status…I don’t consider being single who I am…which was further confirmed by Sunday’s message…I know my purpose as a follower of Christ and I still consider myself a wife…I just know I’m meant to be one to the right one.

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I just happen to be in “transition”…yeah…that has a nice little ring to it.

You see…though I was heading bowling that night, I was still trying to wrap my head around what was to transpire the next day.

My ex-husband had planned to visit my daughter from Little Rock, and because I’m not allowing my daughter out of my sight for any reason, I had to go as well…

It wasn’t unforgiveness, but definitely uneasiness…

I had been sort of dreading the reunion because I didn’t want what usually happened to happen again… there were always “misunderstandings!”

I thought…I want him to know that I have no hard feelings, but I also don’t want him to think I have “other feelings” either.

See my dilemma?

It was always a catch 22…if I rejected speaking to him, I was thought to hate him…if I was nice…I was expected to remarry him…

I had been praying about our interaction all week and asking God to reveal to me if I had any unforgiveness lurking in my heart that went unchecked…God confirmed that I had forgiven him, however, that I needed to still endure this test.

 

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Well, prayer works…the Lord showed me that just as I’d left alcoholism alone nearly 8 years ago and since had several tests…and yes…though I’ve drank a little…like 3 times within that time…He showed me how I have no taste for that life or the liquor itself anymore…in essence, I had to be exposed to it to know I’m completely done…

Hey, I’m not knocking anyone who drinks, I just know my boundaries now…that’s something I never really had before…for drinking or relationships…

Just pass me a Green Tea and the one God has chosen for me!

I guess you really know that you have forgiven and closed the door to the hurt of your past when you find yourself praying for that person and not in one of those, “God get ’em prayers!”

My point in all this is that God showed me that I had to fix the broken places in this past relationship to properly close the door before I would truly have my heart free enough to receive the man God has for me.  I did what I needed to do.  Maybe it’s time you do the same.

 

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It’s Just Me

Of all the things that are easier said than done, for me I believe guarding my heart is my vice. It seems that no matter what I do I keep finding myself distracted with “feelings.” I guess it fits…I was always considered the “sensitive one” as a child. I was the one who cried over everything and anything. I was the one who wanted to know why someone did this and why someone did that. I was the one who seemed intrigued with everyone. I wanted to know what made them tick. I remember we used to have Childcraft Encyclopedias and I was fascinated with only two of them.  My favorite still was the one titled: How things work.  Looking back, I suppose it clearly fits my personality because it seems whenever I encounter a new person, I can’t help but wonder how they got to be who they are or rather who they “think” they are.  I just wish people were more honest! I’ve been called brutally honest over the years and for a time…one too long…I obliged others and stifled my honesty for their sakes…Yes, they couldn’t handle the truth…not mine and especially not theirs. Regardless, as I embrace the new me who is really the old me, I wear a crooked smile with pride.

Privilege of the Pause

Just more random thoughts…of course on edited😁

I’m convinced the one problem, if it could be called that, with being a visionary is finding the off switch in one’s mind or perhaps it is as simple as located an appropriate landing spot for dreams to be born. As if the recording device in my brain is stuck in fast foward, I’m learning the importance of complete unplugging to catch up with myself occasionally. I’ve realized my stillness is yet my only way to hear His voice…
I make no apologies for my quick wit, my charismatic personality, or intelligence, however, life…at least this year has taught me the privilege of the pause…the necessity of delay has forced me to make use of my share of patience…and so I rest I Him alone. The white noise of “everydayness” fades to black as my surprise rises and bids me “Good mourning.” Yes in more ways than one the things and people I once thought I could not live without, I’m not able to consider the demise of what was thoroughly so…Good and Deceased…no regrets to gather…no further pain to nurse…a freedom I can only liken to that of the mockingbird’ song. I used to hate the beast how regardless of daylight or dusk, this one decided to perch just beyond my window and would ever chirp. Only recently have I understood the real reason for his song day and night. Only now can I freely sing my praises ever after too.

So my vision needed a place to lay…one where it would remain impervious to the pain of rejection…a dwelling where my will, my make-shift covering would be rendered more useless than years of experience had proven its worth…again I get my cue from the birds…how even sparrows know of His all sufficiency…how they sing as I learned to do again in this process…I’m reminded that no good thing will He withhold from me…finally this daughter stands…chains broken by keys I’d held all along…again song at midnight retrieved to lead nameless prisoners to their own freedom…I walk and doors open…because I’m beloved and now I’m glad to return the favor.

What to do when God says yes!

Something odd occurred to me this morning. I’ve gotten so accustomed to God answering my prayers with wait and slow down that I expected a no this time too….that my portrait has been so abstract over the last year that even I didn’t know what I was creating…never mind whether I could explain it to friends. So lately when doors had been opened instead of walking through them, I found myself standing and starring instead.

God used to speak to me in dreams often. The things He’s revealed to me in this way have been nothing short of amazing, however, within the last year I could no longer understand the meanings of the few dreams I could recall. Rather, I began to interpret everything on the surface. I used to shy away from the explanation of how I knew things before they happened because I was just thought of as weird. Of course now I could care less what anyone thinks. I’ve felt like that a while, but that didn’t seem to change the fact that I was constantly misinterpreting the visions and dreams I’d been having.

Then God reminded me that I had access to that power, but I had unplugged myself from the source…that I had not been as open in prayer or as dedicated to His word as I had been before…I’d forgotten my first love….Instead I was stuck in this maze of trying to fit certain men into a mold that was never meant for them to fit…certain things over the years I, like Jacob, Joseph’s (the dreamer) dad kept the matters in mind…I knew then as I do now that I’m meant to be married…that while my children are up in age I’m also meant to have more children…that I’m literally going to change the world…I’ve already been doing that…one life at a time…this knowing comes from a place of certainty not arrogance…whenever the faith in me would wane because we ladies tend to take biology quite seriously when single and waiting to be found by that certain man, I’m reminded of Sarah…then of Hannah…how she prayed without a word, yet how God heard her prayer and granted her request…that only later in God’s word are we reminded of how the Holy Spirit fills in the gaps where the humanity of our lips fail us in petition…

Because any man won’t do…those words remain in my heart so as I did when my now ex-husband first left, I decided to keep the matter of Isaiah 54’s confirmation in mind and heart…that while I already knew the weapons formed wouldn’t prosper that it was still time to enlarge my territory and embrace the Lord as my Abba and husband…I realize now my quest had always been for a father as is still my journey because so it is: when a man finds a wife, he finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord…a wife is a wife long before the words are said…a wife is a wife before the union is consummated…yet a man is only a man when he leaves his mother and father to cleave to his wife…neither he nor his wife are missing anything…the bible reveals…God removes Adam’s(man) rib…to format her… the world has you believing that you are deficient because of this delicate but necessary surgery remove what one would consider a required portion to be whole…that somehow a woman would complete a man or vice versa…however, that same science that tries to evict God Almighty from the equation of life altogether fail to see how the science itself refutes their rebuttal in that the rib is the only bone that grows back if removed…that Adam…a whole man had a fulfilled relationship with God…had been aware of and fully active in his purpose, only to look up one day and know the very essence of a Father’s love when he was presented with Eve…she complimented his purpose for she had her own designed before her creation…even when all the stars align and the dots in our lives connect so perfectly that even a child can decipher the image, we sometimes mis-take truth for a figment of our overactive imagination….failing to realize in that moment who gave us the mind to dream such things in the first place…so we then find ourselves in Peter’s predicament…in a sea of transition with family, friends, and even the enemy riding together watching, but secretly waiting for Peter to sink…today’s word has inadvertently….nah intentionally allowed me to regurgitate all I’ve been filled with on this page…

Was it my plan to ramble on and one…can’t say it was, but in retrospect…the clarity and confirmation I’ve received was necessary for me if for no one else…

I’ve asked…waited…grown impatient…tried to do my own thing and through it all, my Father has kept me…His will be done because now I’m ready to receive His yes…

My Father’s Letter

Excerpted from my upcoming memoir…
I remember when God first bid me to meditate on Corinthians 7:10. It was after the inevitable. Following what had become our norm, I’d chosen my way out.

HERE WE GO AGAIN

This time the verbal assault ensued on a Friday, but the pain of my husband’s perpetual disregard of our vows had burrowed a hole in my heart long before that instance. At its onset, his accusations and obscenities barely pierced the void between us; the aftermath was always his exit. Yet, his departures became a welcomed solace. But this night, my fury held its grip.
I was numb. The thought of forgiving him, of praying for him again was not an option.
Disgusted, all I’d resolved in my heart surfaced. “I don’t have to take this mess! I’ll just get a divorce!” With that, I locked the door to my home and my heart.
I closed my eyes in hopes of a peaceful slumber unwilling to yield my decision only to be haunted by the stark reality of a verse I hadn’t recalled, but avoided all the same.
Steeped in bitterness, my attempt futile. The next morning I lie in bed with that verse invading my ego. He literally spelled it out in my mind’s eye. Against a canvas of complete darkness, He penned:
CORINTHIANS 7:10
The bold white letters embedded themselves in my consciousness after a brief but poignant introduction in what should have been a sweet self-serving dream.
It wasn’t the first time I’d been led to the word. Yet this time, I almost refused to cooperate. Still livid with my husband’s abrupt departure, I had no intention of being the obedient wife another day.
KICKING AND SCREAMING
After wrestling with the cumbersome task of staying in bed with my eyes wide shut most of the night, I relented, grabbed my bible, and opened to I Corinthians 7:10 revealing exactly what I didn’t want to see:
To the married I give this command (not I but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. (NIV)
Naturally, I was not too pleased. All I could think about were the lies he told, how many times he cursed me out in front of my children, and how many other ways he showed me just how much he didn’t love me. I was sleeping with the enemy and I felt like God should’ve cut me some slack. Immediately, I was more angry. This time God was on my hit list.
Oh I know that’s not exactly the response one would expect from a God-fearing woman, but I was pissed and I refused to be the only one to blame!
Yet a quick stint with reality had me more upset with myself. After all hadn’t I been the one who ignored all the signs before I said, ‘I do’? Had I ever had peace about our union period? Hadn’t I told myself to walk-away when we first met? Hadn’t I been too weak to stand with God alone?
Shuddering over the union I created, my anger hissed a certainty I could only wish were so easily removed as mistakes had been on my etch-a-sketch as a child. In that moment I longed even for that time again. At least then I knew how to erase what didn’t fit my portrait.
Yet, I’d chosen to use oil to seal this canvas now. The ink had long since dried.
BROKEN
In mid-rant, I remembered the second book. Ha! Maybe God meant 2 Corinthians 7:10?
I thought, “God loves me and He sees the pain I’m facing. Of course, He’ll give me a get out of jail free card.”
Yes, God did see my sorrow. He saw the mountains of my frustration and the valleys of my despair. He’d witnessed my tears and felt my shame. His response to my disobedience was simple.
As my eyes rested on the new passage, they met answers to questions I hadn’t the nerve to ask.
Godly sorrow brings about repentance that leads to no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death.”
TEARS
Tears magnified the content as the flames of my ire were extinguished. And through wafts of smoke, I felt my Father’s embrace nudging me to continue.
With these words, “ See what this Godly sorrow has produced in you, what earnestness, what eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation, what alarm, what longing, what concern, what readiness to see justice done. At every point you have proved yourselves to be innocent in this matter. So even though I wrote to you, it was not on account of the one who did wrong or of the injured party, but rather that before God you could see for yourselves how devoted to us you are. By all this we are encouraged,” He loved me.
MORE TEARS
That day I realized my need to surrender. That by doing so I made the choice to love those who persecuted me, to pray for those who despitefully misused me; to feed my enemy when he is hungry.
RENEWED MIND
Later that day I took my son aside in the kitchen. “From now on you’ll see mama doing things differently. I’m not arguing with James* anymore. We will continue to pray for him though.” Recco was nine at the time.

This was the first step of many that would lead to my wholeness.
*name changed

Who am I

​I recorded this the other day for my business clients, but in obedience to the Father, I’m sharing this with whosoever will…it’s only audio and I considered it not done because I hadn’t edited it or added the appropriate video yet… but my Father said it is finished…I finally understand the beauty from ashes My Father so graciously provided me…there is such a power to embracing who you are…until you embrace your story, you will never be whole… God’s allowed our pain for a purpose, don’t allow your story to go unheard…some will never open even one of the 66 books of the Bible….but they will read your life…as a living epistle, I submit. So it is.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B5WD-46mBzRCMFNjeU5VWWFOSm8/view?usp=drivesdk

Children, Be Who You Are

​I remember as a child we would sing, “Jesus loves the little children…all the children of the world…red and yellow black and white they are precious in His sight. Jesus loves the little children if the world…. there’s a reason Jesus calls His disciples children so many times in the Bible…that He stresses that we are to be a children…Children are untainted by wrong beliefs…they are innocent by nature and accept and love everybody…they forgive quickly and are eager to play together even if the one they choose to play with just knocked them down on the play ground. Children also aren’t afraid to cry even if someone else is hurt. Children also aren’t afraid to ask questions of their provider… they aren’t afraid to embrace truth and are bold enough to reject a lie in the very face of it. All of the tragedies we’ve experienced is our wake up to again be as children…look to our Provider for understanding…cry for and with those hurting…go boldly before the thrown and ask for understanding….reject the lie that racism is okay and always meant to be here…love all people…forgive quickly and even willing join hands with the very one whom they might have been fighting against yesterday for the joy of today. Love need be our only ammunition for the weapons if our warfare are not carnal, but mighty in God for the pulling down of strongholds, casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ.

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