Quit Editing Yourself

So I titled this post as if I’m telling you all to just flow with the script God gave you, but really I’m talking about myself.

Yesterday I had a very soberly dose of reality.  I attended a writer’s conference that I almost didn’t because of a number of minor excuses.  But boy am I glad that I did go!  The information was not only specifically what I needed to hear from the experts who spoke about writing memoirs and techniques to use in non-fiction writing, but the new folk I sat next to were by far the best reason to attend.

One young lady and I immediately hit it off. The ice breaker was original unsettling because as we found out, we both were introverts so the fact that we were required to walk around the whole area arm and arm telling one another a story about the other as we made the trek.  We both agreed on at least three occasions during that little adventure, “This is so weird.”

Regardless of the weirdness of that situation, I am thankful for that meeting and the next.  The main speaker for the first portion just happened to have a lot more in common with me that I expected. I was immediately intrigued because she had been a professor in the writing center from UALR.  I felt the need to gain some further direction about the book I’d been working on for what seems forever!

After a few breaks and sharing a bit more of myself with the young lady to my left.  She asked whether I record myself and transcribe it. I admitted that I used to do that and sometimes I will find myself talking about my story and regretting that I never pressed record.  Even in that conversation, I wish I had not paused it.

Maybe subconsciously I felt I had nothing to say worth hearing again.

I’m glad that this young lady admitted as a disclaimer that she’s gotta work on tact before she shared with me exactly what I needed to hear.

As I shared bits and pieces about my mother and the trials I’d faced with my ex-husband and the ups and down f single motherhood, her words stung but they were just the hypodermic needle I needed to push me to accept the fact that indeed I did just need to quit editing myself.

“You need to just do it.  I think that you’re trying so hard not to be like your mother than you are going to send yourself to the opposite end of crazy!”

Pointing out that I did possess a few OCD tendencies when it came to editing my work and even reading the work of others, the meat of my issue was revealed in another very telling statement she made, ” I think you are so worried about what people will think that you are editing yourself.”

I knew that I’d always had the tendency to correct my grammatical errors as well as that of others for years and I knew that I have a tendency to procrastinate.  What I couldn’t get was why I could set a goal to finish grad school with a 4.0 when I started, maintain that 4.0 except for one B+ and an A- at the end of that trek, settling for a 3.875.  I was still proud that I’d been graced to receive that after having been out of school for so many years prior.

This other new acquaintance mentioned the reason I managed to get it together when I was in grad school was that I had forced structure- a plan that someone else had made for me, and that I hadn’t completed the book because of I lacked a rubric.

We were given an exercise to write on the fly and one other young lady’s feedback jolted my spirit.
“I wanted to hear more. I could identify with your desire to reconcile with your mother and whether it was even possible to do so because I too struggle with issues within my family.”

We were told to write for about ten minutes on the fly.  We were told to pick a person from a list of names that I’d jotted down earlier and just to write.  We were not told that we would have to read it aloud to someone else for feedback

I’m glad I didn’t know what.  Had I known that I would likely have done what I’ve done, I would have edited myself…my words…my story.

Well no more!!

I know that that has been my crutch and I’ve held onto a cast for too long.  I’ve been healed but I supposed I’d gotten used to the comfort.  So while I am still an editor at heart, I understand that writing from the heart doesn’t require that I go back and undo the wrongs that I have done, but that I just am in the moment.  With that, from this point on, I’m deciding to be perfectly okay with my grammatical mistakes on this blog.  I want real people to read and be blessed  and that by no means requires perfection so today I’m finally able to stop editing myself if for no other reason but to entice you to do the same

©2015 Nadia Davis. All Rights Reserved.

38 Comments

  1. Appreciating the hard work you put into your site and in depth information you
    offer. It’s awesome to come across a blog every
    once in a while that isn’t the same outdated rehashed information.
    Excellent read! I’ve saved your site and I’m adding your RSS feeds to my Google account.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  2. Hi! I could have sworn I’ve been to this blog before but after checking through some of the post I
    realized it’s new to me. Anyways, I’m definitely glad I found it and
    I’ll be book-marking and checking back frequently!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Alanna,

      I’m glad that you found it too…great to have you checking in regularly. I am working to expand and post more regularly. I didn’t realize how many other people struggled with people pleasing like I used to until I posted this one.

      Blessings

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  3. Hi there! This article couldn’t be written any better!

    Going through this article reminds me of my previous roommate!
    He continually kept talking about this. I will forward this information to him.
    Fairly certain he’ll have a great read. Many thanks for sharing!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  4. A fascinating discussion is worth comment. I believe that you should write more
    about this topic, it may not be a taboo subject but usually folks don’t discuss these issues.
    To the next! Cheers!!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Christal, I’m glad you think I should elaborate on this area…I think so too…I’ve found in the last few weeks that there are many people out there who are consumed with people pleasing. Thanks for your comment.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  5. I am not sure where you are getting your information, but great topic.
    I needs to spend some time learning much more or understanding more.
    Thanks for excellent information I was looking for this info for my mission.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  6. Good day! This is my 1st comment here so I just wanted to give a quick
    shout out and tell you I genuinely enjoy reading through your posts.
    Can you suggest any other blogs/websites/forums that cover the
    same topics? Appreciate it!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Thank you for checking the blog out and commenting. I’ve written a lot so feel free to peruse at your leisure, however, because I was previously editing myself a lot I have a bunch of drafts that I’m going to start posting pretty regularly now. Have a great day!

      Like

      Reply

  7. I am sooooo proud of you! You did it and…tada…the world is still round and spinning!! I know you will continue to push through and write yourself out of all of your fears and paranoia. God didn’t give us the spirit of fear but of power. Now you have me to nagg you on!!! Great post!😉

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  8. People will talk no matter what, good or bad. Holding myself prisoner of my own, based off others. Scared of making mistakes or regretting not trying. I have to make a choice if not I will stay in a empty hallway between two doors. Thanks Nadia looking forward to purchasing your book.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Jamie,

      The fact that being real with myself helped you is thanks enough. It’s amazing how God can use a stranger to open our eyes at times. I met this girl and in one interaction, she told me just what I needed to hear. Please don’t allow what people think to hinder your progress any further. Stay Blessed.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

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