One thing that has been a constant reminder and a matter of conviction for me( especially lately) is Colossians 3:23.
I couldn’t remember the exact scripture at first, but I knew it was in Colossians and I knew I needed to get me some “act right” anytime the notion came across my mind and heart.
Anyway, all things considered, I realized how by nearly opting out at work altogether I wasn’t giving God my best. I admit, I have encountered some real hurdles in the last few months, but even in those trials, my reality check didn’t arrive until the moment after I sent a request to take a leave of absence.
I was attempting to take an easy out…to give up…to really throw in the towel in terms of effort at work and at home for that matter. I doubt that I’m the only single mom out there who gets TIRED of going it alone. I’d done more than just mourn the loss of my mother in the last month. I was stuck in a pity-party.
I am so thankful for the grace and leniency my bosses have given me though. I know by all accounts that the ways they have worked with me has been nothing short of God’s favor. And I almost handed even that over to the enemy!
Now don’t get me wrong! This is not the voice of regret speaking here. Rather, it is one of clarification. I know I DID make the right decision when I declined the initial promotion offer because I had no peace in the possibility of accepting it. Yet, neither do I have the peace to leave this place altogether either.
I thought I would, but I was brought to this ministry for a reason and though I’d said next year I wouldn’t be here, I must humbly admit I may have been wrong in my assessment…premature even. As I reviewed the ways that I’ve gone about doing my job recently, I’ve taken note of the inklings of flesh that have protruded every now and again.
Yes, there have been days that I have arrived and sat in the parking lot staring at the building much like I’d done so many times at my former employer. I never wanted to get there with this place. I never expected to get there at this place….not at a ministry…not working for the Lord?
Yet, now I know exactly what made me so miserable. It had absolutely nothing to do with this place physically…but the place I was in mentally. My attitude sucked!!!
I had been exhausted by the things I’d allowed to distract me from what I really had been called to do…what I’d been designed in His image to do…to worship. I was reminded today that the highest form of faith is worship. The joy of this revelation and transition has been giddy!
There is a lesson in not just “leaving well” but dwelling well. Now this notion didn’t just drop out of the sky for me. In fact, it actually was brought to mind after receiving a notice from management about the “proper” way of doing things in lieu of the way one former employee handled her last days here a few days ago.
That was last week, but now that I’ve had time to think about it, I understand my role in His Kingdom so much more. I am grateful for “this place.”
It’s true that one can never really appreciate a good job until you’ve had a bad one…that its hard to appreciate a job period until you’ve lost one…this wake up call made me remember when I was fired from my former employer.
I wasn’t sad when I was called into the office. I didn’t shed a tear when I left the office. I had a great big smile on my face and a little extra pep in my step. That memory made me understand the blessing in leaving well…with a smile…with no guilt…with no deed unfinished…with making my Heavenly Father proud…that’s how I left that building nearly 3 years ago. I left well.
I did my best while I was there because I knew I was really working for God. I know that’s why He reassured me months prior to them letting me go that I would go out in peace. In fact, I recalled the scripture He’d led me to mere months prior on my way home that fateful day:
So though I may not know the exact details of what the future holds for me right now…whether I will be serving…writing…teaching…parenting or even married this time next year, I do know I will always be able to direct my current situation to a joyous end with His help.
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