Better Not Bitter

Hmmm…more about this submission thing…

In case I struck a nerve with some of you yesterday, I’ve decided to elaborate. Still though…

Anyway, while it seems that women have been backed into a corner when it comes to the submission debate, men aren’t too far from the trenches either.  Submission should be a two-way street.  In fact, true Godly submission is not about “giving ‘tude,  giving up your say, or giving orders.”  At its core it is yielding for the benefit of both parties involved.

FYI: It has nothing to do with getting the last word either.

Now a while back I was asked:  Would you follow your husband to a smaller church?  

I freaked out at first because I’d been at my church for almost 12 years and to just leave was a terrifying thought.

Oh my doesn’t God have a sense of humor?  I say that now because while the question was posed about a year ago, I just moved back to Memphis.

Moving on…

However, after I digested the question, I posed one of my own.  

Why should I have a problem with it?

Essentially, if I have “chosen” to marry a man with God’s permission,  I should trust my husband’s judgement to do what’s best for our family.  Basically, I would follow him anywhere.

Now, that said, I think it is only fair to point out instances when women are NOT obligated to submit, yield, or follow a man:

A) he is not your husband

B) he is not submitted himself first to God

C) he is husband, but yelding to his request or authority explicitedly contradicts God’s Holy Word

Now I’m sure some heads are rolling now because of that last one…maybe it seems a bit subjective.  Well, that’s because it is.

I am proof that you seriously set yourself up for failure when you  are unequally yoked!!!

I might lose some ladies on this, but at least hear me out…

If a man is himself submitted to God’s will, the Holy spirit will lead him in a manner to cover you and your family as a Godly man should.  He will not be given to wrath and he will respect you as his rib the way God intended.  Now that doesn’t mean that you will agree with everything he says  or does.  But there is always an amicable way to agree to disagree. (That will be a later post)

Also, just because a man is not your husband is no license to disrespect him either.

In fact, ladies, try make it a point to be so respectful to all men that your expectation in return is the same.   It’s been my experience that the respect is usually returned.  Now there are always exceptions where men will be disrespectful, but that’s no reason for you to stoop to that level also.  Think of your respectful reaction to his foolishness a lesson he has yet to learn. 

I mean I’m not married, but when I’m out and and a gentleman is walking behind me, I make it a point to wait by the door.  I can’t tell you how many times men will run to get the door for me so that I not wait long.  No, I’m not incapable of opening the door on my own, but I consider this an opportunity to allow a man be a man as I maintain my stance as a young lady.

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I haven’t always done that and honestly I feel like I’ve missed out on the chivalry so many people say is fleeting among men nowadays because of it.

It’s not that chivalry is dead, but that we have forgotten the advantage of embracing  the complicated art of mutual submission in relationships.  

The take home today is this ladies and gentlemen…

1. Whether she’s recognizes or not, fellas, respect yourself and your maker enough to be a man worthy of your role as a leader. One day, the right one will take notice.
2. And ladies, treat every man with respect…even if you have to pretend because of past pain…assume that he’s a good man and treat him like one deserves….and if he is a good man, please let the man lead for God’s sake!

©2015 Nadia Davis. All Rights Reserved.