Posts Tagged ‘self-love’

Just a bit of randomness…I’d already had this thought on my mind on the drive to church, but today’s sermon wrapped things up nicely in my mind and heart.  Looking back…oh how grateful I am for my transformation! How beautiful I’ve become!download

I remember when I was in 9th grade, we had some of the upperclassmen come over to my junior high school and meet with us to let us know what to expect as part of the “high school” world. I distinctly remember one girl speaking of a course that was required of all honor’s students of which she absolutely hated. She said it was Etymology, the study of words and their origins,  and she warned us to beware of the strict and stoic teacher who loved her job a bit too much. images

Fast forward a few months and there I sat in her class. Mrs. Utley…yes, she was indeed passionate about the work she did and perhaps even more so about the grading.  She had no mercy. However, the odd thing is that while most of my classmates grumbled about memorizing all of those Greek and Latin roots, I was fascinated with them. Immediately, I considered just how I was going to do superb on the English portion of my ACT.  I quickly learned how to break everything down and loved it.  I even began writing in Greek in my journals to keep my mother’s prying eyes at bay.  Even a couple of my friends would pass notes in class written in Greek to confuse other teachers.  images

Fast forward to today, I still love words and I write and dissect them for fun. I’m completely okay with being a book worm, word-nerd, geek, or whatever else people can think of calling me.  And that folks is for one reason only…I love being me. 20160101_121056.jpg

Notice how I skipped a part of my existence between the start of high school and now?

Well, that was intentional because somewhere between the acknowledgment of my gifted mind and today, I decided to intentionally dumb myself down for the sake of say…those folk who just couldn’t get me. Over the years that morphed into a series of co-dependent or abusive relationships.  However, something began to peel off of me within the last year. It was my mask! download (1)

Today’s Bible lesson got me to thinking about how for years I was suffering from PTSD-Post-Traumatic Self-Disorder as coined by Pastor ID Curry.   I was constantly getting into relationships trying to “fix” people because I couldn’t “fix” my mother. She had borderline personality disorder.  Mental Illness is real folk! I didn’t even know the root of my own issues until the last few years. In fact, I just accepted that I’m not what happened to me and I am not my mother. I was able to forgive her and myself. I feel so free now that I keep wondering why on earth I allowed the weight of “who I thought I needed to be” bog me down for so long.

Even when I consider myself a few years ago I marvel at the transformation…I actually look younger and better now than I have in years…God was patient with me…He loved me back to my original image…the one He designed…for the purpose He planned…

God reminded me of my name…reminded me of my bloodline…that because of Christ’s sacrifice, I’m no longer bound to other’s expectations or desires…that I can do all things through Christ because He has strengthened me…that I can embrace the fearfully and wonderfully made woman of God I am…images (15)

I’ve learned to Be Myself and Love Myself…better yet, I learned to receive love!!!  I am the way I was meant to be now. What I do or what I have been through doesn’t define me.  Rather, who I am is what defines how I do things.  To think it took me over 20 years to understand and embrace that!  I guess in all this wordy material I’m asking you to do the same… embrace who you are…perhaps a little sooner than I did…

…So live the life you were meant to live and please BeYoutotheFullest!

I can only imagine the gasps of my daughter when she sees this title.  She thinks I’m so old because I once said, “ooh, that’s a bad car!” Okay…I realize that no one really says that anymore, but whatever.  I’ve witnessed so much in the mere 37 years…almost 38 years that I’ve been on the planet to know that growing old is a blessing…that stress…even so-called good stress is soooooo overrrated.  I’ve decided to simply have no part in it anymore. It’s not that I’m naive to the problems that might arise in life, but I am more aware of how much control I have over those events. In most cases, I have no control.  In some others, I understand that even then I have to be completely led by the Holy Spirit to do the right thing.  Even then, I mess up.

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I’ve messed up a lot all my life….yep, I’m not going to sit here and say, “lately” because an inventory of reality shouts that I should have a doctorate in mess ups by now.  Regardless, the beauty of loving me as God does is that in all that….He still does….He knew it before I knew it so whether I keep my Christ-like position in mind in a moment of potential road rage, or I decide to flip the bird to that person who decides to cut me off, God still loves me.  That helps me in this moment and I imagine the many that are to come because I’m able to embrace my mistakes and understand that with every breath I have an opportunity to choose another option the next time.

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Have I got it all together right now…absolutely not…and here’s the deal…none of us will ever have it all together until Christ returns to take us home.  Warning, this does not give you permission to do any old thing and take God’s grace for granted.  What it is instead is permission to actually receive the grace Christ died to give you when you need it.  And in turn give that same grace to others when you can give it.  Humility is not becoming a door mat…it is becoming a stepping stone for someone else to come up because they witness your selflessness in willing bringing yourself lower.  I was about to say I don’t know where that came from, but that would be lying wouldn’t it. Of course I know the Lord led me to put that…to read that…to know that about myself and also for anywho else reads this message that’s taken me exactly 5 minutes to conjure.  No editing…just flowing in what God gives…that is all…be blessed and yeah…I’m kinda likeing and loving the new me!

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Peace!!  Oh yeah…people don’t say that anymore either do they?  Whatever…I do!!!

©2016 Nadia Davis. All Rights Reserved.

It’s time to change the rules of engagement!

When I worked at a major fine jewelry chain several years ago, most days I was confronted with a myriad of emotions directly related to the comments made by perspective clients.  The ones that really got my attention and yes on my nerves were those who were cheap!!!

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Trust, I tried to figure out a way around using that word, but I really couldn’t gather another one that would fit so there it is….CHEAP!!!

Well, notice I said that I worked at a FINE JEWELRY establishment…that meant that the merchandise there was behind a protective case for a reason. Its value was well worth the price and it was secured because it was not meant for just “anybody” to have access to it.

Yet, time and time again, I was met with countless “eye-buyers!”

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If you have ever worked in retail for commission, I’m sure you understand my frustration.

But honestly, it wasn’t solely based on the shopper’s inability to buy the merchandise; it was their attitude in the process.

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I’m a visionary so I’m quick to go into a store and “prepare for my future.”  I may not have a dime in my pocket, but I know what I like and I know what God said I can have so I don’t have a problem acknowledging what I can’t afford, YET!!!!

In fact, I did it a few weeks ago!  Yes the earrings I saw were $2K and I don’t know how I’m going to get them, but those diamond hoops are definitely in my near future. After all I am the daughter of a King!  Why wouldn’t I anticipate the best?

Well, I didn’t always believe that.  In fact, just a few months back I had begun to forget God’s grace.  Yet, doesn’t He have a lovely way of reminding us of His faithfulness?

Sure He does!

Since then, I have decided that no matter what I face, I will keep an attitude of expectation because I know GREAT EXPECTATIONS LEAD TO GREAT RESULTS!!!

I know my Heavenly Father adores me and He always wants what’s best for me. Granted I’ve been delayed from some of the things I want and I was a bit upset initially, but now I know I’m safer in His will.  Even still, He graciously reminds me all the time that He never breaks a promise.

As it happens, just the other day when a cloud of doubt tried to crop up, a car got in front of me with the license plate TRUSTME

Also, this morning I was on autopilot as I was singing and praising and drove right by my son’s school.  I decided that no matter what I would not be disturbed by the trivial anymore.  After I dropped him off, a car got in front of me with PRZ GOD.  I continued and later saw W84ME.  Each time I know God knew what I’d been wondering and almost worried about.  Still He lovingly assured me of His presence and His favor by the little things I tend to notice that others might not.  I know in His eyes I’m priceless and I’ve learned to see myself the same way.

That said, it saddens me to see so many of my sisters not see themselves as such. Instead of the fearfully and wonderfully made creatures God made them to be, they sulk under the misguided interpretation that because they have made mistakes or that their picture doesn’t match the photo-shopped images in magazines that they are worthless.

They complain about attracting the wrong guys and not having any luck in relationships, but the real problem is that they haven’t acknowledged the standard in place so they can receive God’s best.

I shared that same plight at one time and I’m determined never to measure my self-worth by past mistakes, ill-perceived flaws, and definitely not by what anyone else thinks or says because God’s shared a secret with me that all His daughters can claim.

God endowed me with

Proverbs 31:10 Amplified Bible (AMP)

10 A capable, intelligent, and [a]virtuous woman—who is he who can find her? She is far more precious than jewels and her value is far above rubies or pearls.

Ladies, regardless of past mistakes, even if it was last night I suggest you consider yourself fine jewelry=secure, worth the investment, and the real thing because to God you too are priceless to allow just anyone to handle you.  
©2015 Nadia Davis.  All Rights Reserved.

Pushing Past the Pain

Posted: May 15, 2014 in Prayer
Tags: , , ,

Today, I was reminded of a note I’d written a couple years ago on Facebook about healing…I felt compelled to share it again for those who may be experiencing pain, whether physical or emotional so please check out that link.  God is still a healer. I’m the proof…not only have I been healed of the physical pain that had me depressed and nearly debilitated a few years ago, but I would have never had the courage or desire to start this blog otherwise. I thank God for the reminder.

Prayer in this Moment:

Hey Daddy,

I thank You for loving me in spite of everything You know about me. Thank You for teaching me to love myself as You do. Thank You for allowing me to make mistakes so that I could remember how much I need You in every part of my life. You have provided an endless source of comfort and healing in my body, mind, and heart. In Your son’s matchless name, I pray.

Love Your Doting Daughter,

Hope Beloved