Search

Better Not Bitter

Responding God's Way to Life's Challenges

Tag

relationships

Who This Lady Needs

Almost  four months ago I posted this message:

Who This Lady Wants!

I mentioned I started the post about two months prior then, but hey I was wrong. The other day I came across almost the same words in an old journal…so I suppose my heart has been pondering not just my desires, but my needs for a long, long while….thought I’d share:

 

Someone who is sincerely appreciative of my presence…Someone not led by others’ preferences…Someone sure of himself enough to express his honest views…Someone who is not afraid to admit his own issues…Someone who doesn’t mind my innate extroversion…Someone who recognizes I complement his quiet disposition…Someone who is able to give freely without remorse…Someone willing to allow love to take its course…Someone who isn’t led by the things and places money can acquire…Someone wise enough to know all things must expire…Someone whose heart is knit to Our Father…Someone who takes seriously his role of loving God’s daughter…Someone who listens without judgement to things I’ve experienced along the way…Someone who seeks to understand my heart and assures me he’ll stay…

©2017 Nadia Davis. All Rights Reserved.

 

 

Just Be Fearless

A few weeks ago I stood in awe of how one prayer seemed to transform my being from an insecure shell of a woman into a confident tigress!  

images (4)

…A bit Dramatic I know, but I found myself making plans to go jet skiing next month and if God says the same I will!!!

images

For years I had been afraid of heights, spiders, and things that goes bump in the night.  Yet, a few weeks ago, it occurred to me that I hadn’t always been afraid of them.

I couldn’t understand why I started being so fearful. I mean when I was a kid, I used to catch spiders and climb trees!  I had never been bitten by a poisonous spider…well when I was pregnant with Kayla I was bitten by something, but it was never identified.

images (2)

I still haven’t put my finger on it, but I do know now that it is not the way I was meant to live. I mean I just cracked out of my self-imposed shell of introversion recently so things really feel new to me.  

I guess I can understand why Jesus said for us to be child-like.  

download (5)

Children are fearless because they are naturally trusting. Children believe that the one who created them will never hurt intentionally hurt them. For whatever reason over time, I failed to recognize for too long the same is true of my Heavenly Father’s care for me. 

f9a5dc6be1450e0359311ea91bf6fcb2

Whatever the case, I’ve come to realize that I’m alive for a reason and I can’t  fully embrace  what I’m called to do if I’m too fearful to step out of my comfort zone. So I’ve decided to just be fearless! 

©2016 Nadia Davis. All Rights Reserved.

When Love Knocks…

My Disclaimer…just words I scrawled from my heart a few months ago…and I added a few lines just now…found it today and decided to share…it is what it is…feeling some kinda way…

images (1)

When love knocks…

How do you find the courage to answer?  My question seemed pretty simple…only it was met with another question…Have you given yourself permission to receive? I admit I hadn’t before. I’m even reluctant now.  Before, I opened myself and my heart to meet its near demise.

So I questioned whether my silence will make him leave my heart. Yet, I keep finding myself thinking of what his thoughts on this and that are…I’m moved by his brilliant mind.

The heart hopes, but the mind struggles to accept the constancy of this thing…whatever it is…

Had I ever truly loved before? I mean besides the “required” love a Christian woman should possess? How could any of those feelings have been true when I was so fragmented? I didn’t love myself.  I’m so tempted to flee…yet, God won’t allow me to escape…

Before, I had every way of retreat, but I chose to stay despite the warnings…despite God’s offer…I chose bondage over freedom…I chose ridicule over encouragement…I chose to be chosen by “any man.”

download (1)

Will regret be my reprieve?  No! My new heart won’t allow it! Surgery alone was the solution! My old one…too beaten…too bruised…misused and stomped…bitterness took love’s place so it had to go!

My heart wanted to smile almost two years ago when the words, “Your husband is a certain man because any man won’t do” met my ears. My countenance fell when I realized the difficulty I had brought on myself by trying to shove “any man” into this “certain man’s” slot. Still, I finally gave up, but was met with another counterfeit.

This one didn’t need any help from me to be fictitiously vile. I’ve considered before that maybe the reason Fairy Tales always end with the wedding is because they too end up in divorce court…

It’s expected I suppose…real love can’t develop overnight…so I considered my ability to receive love…to give love…

I have pondered this thing for months and I’ve taught myself to listen…

“Just Receive!” “Listen and Pay Attention!”

 

The voice in my new heart had compassion…and in an instant the dots were forming the picture this prophetic babe saw over eight years ago…constantly reminded of the “appointed time” has had me frazzled, yet eager…courage keeps me focused on the larger picture though my thoughts resemble a kaleidoscope on most days…

images (41)

How could he know too? How is it that my words and his are synchronized without speaking…words I’ve written in solitude…prayers I’ve even whispered to my Father…concerns met with each passing week…answered without the question leaving my heart or mind…connected somehow…inextricably bound even when I resisted the mesh…not one of flesh, but spirit….captivated and deflated with nearly our first encounter…now I review those feelings of confusion and inclusion…

God is no liar!

images

How can I be sure if what I feel is right or even real? I’ve fooled myself so many times before. At a time when I’d abandoned my list before my desire to be adored made my sense not so common…

Naivety is no longer cute as an adult…yet both our childhoods had us duped for at least a time or two…believing the lies that we were not enough…believing the tricks that perfection be a must…to be accepted…to be loved…to avoid rejection…

A struggle is only present when you are caught in the middle of two opposing forces…my will and God’s…

I told God I refuse to elevate a man before Him as I’d done in the past, but my thoughts are laden anyway. I asked for the thoughts…interactions…the way I’ve stumbled onto pages of his life…to cease…and with my own daughter’s words, I was reminded of my heart’s remission…of forgotten intention…to love and be loved on this earth as I am in heaven…

“Why do you keep pushing it so far away from you if you want it?”

She thought she was talking about my purse on the floor board while I was driving on any given Sunday, but I knew better.

Thus, I was faced with more of the same thing…

Torn between the fear of the unknown…and the faith of God’s best…

But was he too consulting with the Father about this heart’s battle?

orig-21352136

Silence…so simple, yet so potent…so I listen…wondering if he too has found himself desiring obedience over the sacrifice of mediocrity…or will he like I had be wooed back by familiar faces, places, and circumstance…

Addicts only walk away from their suppliers when numbers and addresses change…so it has with me…so I’ve chosen to have more and refuse the less of what had been the constant offer on the table that was never meant for my presence…

Still I wonder will  he consider the detriment of “being accustomed to”…doing what many think he “ought” do…or will he choose his own path at last?  Will he consider his ways and make the necessary change or will he hold onto his cantankerous demeanor in favor of remaining needless?

Broken_heart_love_19

Solitude can be one’s prison if not careful so I’ve chosen to forgo my need for independence. I’ve removed my shackles of hesitance in favor of much lighter yoke…

Frustrated before, but now I joyfully relent to what will be to be…I fully surrender what was…the who I was never meant to be…

I choose to remember instead, the good intended…this heart now mended… in places I’d forgotten existed…in ways my mind once resisted…I relish his shyness…a humble prowess- I’ve grown to adore some how…

So interesting is my now…captured like a photograph are the encounters we’ve exchanged in my mind’s eye…so I find myself again tickled of the thoughts that remain…To think I like this guy!

download (4)

A moment in time we held a gaze-all of a sudden I was off my game…Could this heart stand one more strike? In the midst of what I assumed a mere transaction…a blundered encounter…Something happened…

I grew closer in a moment than I had attempted to build with others over years…

Is this what is meant by a soul mate…one whose DNA so embraces the elements of another that even blood is not closer? What so heavily knits our beings? Who is responsible for our seeing? Why hadn’t I understood this connection until now?

images (32)

Perhaps, before I’d been too unwilling to bow…my head and my heart to the will of the One who knows best…the One who designed hearts and wholeness in His hands…the One who designed the plan before the time of our sands began…

So awesomely specific is Our Father’s plan of love’s redemption…that even when we stray, His plan thwart’s temptation…Alignment draws to complete the perfect picture…where two wholes make one with Christ at the center…

So I deny the confusion suggesting my mind is just clouded with intentions of grandeur…

Ahem_d4c8ab_2504486

For pure pose…purpose alone…again…I’d forgotten before…Distracted by the counterfeit…shut in isolation at love’s door.  Physical and emotional fatigue has a tendency to evoke a special blend of Destiny’s amnesia. Yet, wholeness through Christ’s love provided the needed anesthesia…a surgical procedure only an expert could render…such is Our Lord’s hand-so delicate and tender…piece by piece…He removed the shards and stones…and replaced the gaping holes with parts of His own…

And so I’ve been chastened by true love’s momentum…I’m learning to appreciate it’s timeliness…enticed by love’s wisdom. I no longer dream of seeing mere potential…For in love truth exists…

I admit my imagination is far too impressive to withstand the magnitude of this movement…Yet as the doses of love’s prescription linger my marriage to my certain man supposes a greater picture..not solely for physical pleasure or even mere companionship… but of fruitful intention is this bridge built…

04072015

So when love knocks again, I’ll answer.

don't change

©2017 Nadia Davis. All Rights Reserved.

Resolve to Receive

I had some really great post ideas yesterday and then I got busy with the everything of life and I completely forgot what I wanted to say.  It was a worthy opponent for my attention though. I shared laughs with my son and songs with my daughter.

So I was determined to still post something today because it is the first year of a new year and why not. It’s what bloggers do isn’t it? I mean we write about stuff associated with themes, holidays, trips, and travels, right? Well, I cannot say that I exactly have writer’s block, but something more interesting is going on in my heart and mind at the moment so I’m just sort of flowing.

So the title I realize now was not exactly meant to be a title perhaps. I believe it was a simple directive. It was definitely from my Father and specifically intended for me. However, as nature would have it, I share. I’m generous so at times I give what’s been given to me before I have the time or patience to digest it. So my amnesia of sorts gave me the time required to ponder the statement before handing it over for your perusal.

images (5)

I, like so many other people have begun new things and ideas today. Yet, by next week over half of those intentions will be left unsaid, undone, unfulfilled by many.

I’ve decided that won’t be my lot! So I’ve considered my list. You know the list we all have for our supposed Mr. or Mrs. Right, but then we end up checking off two of the 20 items we desire for the sake of having Mr. or Mrs. Right Now instead. I’ve determined not to settle for less another day in my life. I realize my worth and I know who God has is going to treasure me for me.images (15)

I understand now how important my ability to receive is to my destiny in this moment. So it is my prayer that I don’t take this moment or the many moments that follow for granted…that I make an active effort…to be receptive of the right things and people going forward. I’ve decided that I trim more weight by eliminating unnecessary people and places rather than skipping desserts.

514_400x400_NoPeel

I love to cook and bake so it’s pretty pointless to say I will completely eliminate sugar from my life this year or any other year. Still whether on my plate or in my relationships, I finally know my limitations. I know my boundaries. I’ve learned to disconnect wisely and proceed with caution when necessary.

download

Before I’m sure my fight or flight switch was broken. Now my discernment is heightened. I know it is only because I have resolved to receive the wisdom My Heavenly Father offered. So gone is the stubbornness of my youth and the contention of my heart to “overthink” every step regarding relationships. I know I hear God’s voice clearly. I know more that He loves me too much to allow me to be distracted again by nonsense so for this day…this year….and the years to come, I’ve resolved to receive my covenant partner, my position, and my destiny.perfect love

 

©2017 Nadia Davis. All Rights Reserved

Give it a Year to Produce!

Pump your emotional brakes! When considering courtship, understand time is on your side. Watch out for those who try to convince you to make a quick decision! We know better typically when we consider a large purchase like a car or a home, but for whatever reason when it comes to dating or selecting friends, we tend to rush our judgment! Why is that?

images (28)

I’m not condemning you! In fact, had I actually followed the advice I am giving you now, my then would have been mightily different. But of course, I don’t mind that matter. I wouldn’t be able to help you do better had I not done the contrary so trust I’m good with my past…

Moving On…

Give it a year! The first step of making a good decision with regard to whom you will allow to join you on your journey to destiny is that you must be whole!

If you’re whole you are free to proceed…

However, just in case you are not sure if you are whole, let me explain who a whole person is…

Above are just a few details…of course, there are many more, but you get my drift…

Just in case you are not there yet…this is for you:

Don’t just pump your brakes…Pull over and get off the road! You need to spend quality time with the Lord so that you can get your emotional, spiritual, and mental health in line with God’s intention for you.

jeremiah-29-11

Now, in case you are where I am and beyond…let’s use a gardening analogy for a moment…

…on giving it a year…When you give yourself time to allow the relationship to organically grow, you are not left with blind assumptions on the fruit expected!

That said, a year gives you the opportunity to observe the fruit in all seasons! How else are you going to know whether your investment is the right choice?

For example, We all have offseasons, but in the natural, if the fruit you desire to receive is oranges, the last thing you want to do is get lemons…

Get this…agriculturally lemons and oranges grow in the same areas, produce fruit, and have lovely leaves. They are even similar in appearance! Yes, both of these bad boys produce lovely white flowers.

However, if you taste an orange and then a lemon, you definitely know the difference…AM I RIGHT?

df80bf7707529b5a4ef365117268042b

Oranges are sweet and are consumed as “fresh” fruit while lemons have a strong, sour taste and are best consumed in small quantities, if at all. However, lemons can be still be appreciated because they also have the ability to bring other flavors (circumstances) together.

Yes, both have important uses!  So before you allow a permanent scowl take residence on your face and in your heart, consider the intention of the thing.

What Does That Mean???

Well,  ladies and gents, you can’t have lemonade without lemons so now is not the time to regret who you have dated or befriended in your past because they left a sour taste in your mouth in a prior season. Consider what those relationships taught you about YOU.

Yes, I meant YOU.

images (7)

When you focus on what the relationship taught you about the other person involved, you miss the lesson!

Frankly, if your pattern has been one of shopping for oranges and you keep getting lemons, the issue is not the fruit or its source. After all, the fruit is doing exactly the only thing it can do…Be fruit…Consequently, you are the one who needs to change your perspective.

Don’t Be Misled by the Outside!

As mentioned earlier, in the natural, lemon trees and orange trees produce similar-looking flowers and leaves. Agriculturally, however, there are still a few distinct features to be aware of so there’s no confusion. Lemon trees grow less than half the size of orange trees. What’s more, is that Lemon trees have thorns!

download (11)Consider this question: Are you so focused on the exterior of a potential partner that you failed to even question the kind of fruit that he or she will produce? Better yet, have you taken the time to ask the manufacturer for verification BEFORE you invest?

Basically…

  • Have you prayed about him or her?
  • Have you waited for a response?
  • Have you heeded the warning?

If you cannot answer yes to those three questions, then, unfortunately, it is likely you will continue to receive the wrong fruit. Remember, insanity is doing the same thing over and over, but expecting different results. You simply cannot make a lemon sweet just as you cannot make a broken person whole. Only God can do that!

Newsflash: YOU ARE NOT JESUS JR!!!

download (3)

Your best bet with dating or when exploring a new friendship is to observe the prospect for at least a year to ensure you are getting what you desire. Otherwise, you will be forever trying to make sweet what was ultimately not designed for your consumption. That said, since God allows us free will, in His doing so, He allows us to encounter some sour experiences in relationships occasionally.

Nevertheless,  even these were not meant to discourage you from abandoning your efforts. Rather, the sour experiences you faced before were meant as a part of the process. Regardless of your relational status now, before you invest in a relationship, your chances of receiving exactly what you expect are best when you wait long enough to see the fruit your choice has produced rather than taking a chance on ending up with another sour situation.

©2016 Nadia Davis. All Rights Reserved.

 

Delays and Detours: Not Now Doesn’t Mean Not Ever!

Single Lane Ramp…Use  Caution! Lane Closures Ahead…Expect Delays…Merge Now!

expect_delays-1474393964-960   6241654657-laneclosed

You might have found yourself involuntary acquainted with these signs on the road. I simply must add an additional half-hour or more to my commute to make it wherever lately. It’s been a frustrating, yet a necessary daily process that the “powers that be” deem will make the rest of the journey a lot smoother so I endure.  I couldn’t help but consider this situation through a relational lens though.

1c633fedcc2d2334abcbe6abbcd70c71

The way you embrace your season of singleness has a way of shifting your perspective on a lot. That said…Not now doesn’t mean not ever!

I have learned to gracefully accept this notion.  My delay has been for my own good. God was protecting me…FROM ME!!!  And if I’m more honest, He was also protecting my future spouse from me too. Yes, I said that and meant that. Honesty is a beautiful thing!  Since I’m brutally honest anyway…

Stop counting the days! The weeks! The years! The others who have gotten married although you feel like you’ve been dropped on the island of misfit toys! (Yes, Grammarians, I know those are fragments…moving on…)

114700024_640

What we deem as “long enough” may be in God’s estimation, “just getting started.” I’m not trying to discourage your dating exploits. Rather, I want you to get to the root of the matter of “you.” After all, of the failed marriages and relationships you may have experienced, there is one common denominator:

YOU!

I’m not calling you out without considering my own journey now so don’t get it twisted…I have had to get reacquainted with myself too…And yes, I’m still single.  While I know my own single season is coming to a close soon, the difference between my now and my then is that before I was just healed.  Now I am healed and whole! There is a difference!

expect-delay

Yes, hurt people hurt people, and even healed people heal people.  Regardless, even a whole person CAN NOT make another person whole! Only Christ can fill the voids in you so you are suitable for the man or woman He has designed to complement you.

That means the issue here is not how long you have experienced a delay in your “wait” for a mate. Rather, God’s concern is whether you are whole and whether the person He intends for you is also whole. The detours and delays are there merely because construction is in process and until the roads are clear–meaning both parties are emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and yes even physically ready to receive one another– your safety and the safety of others requires you to take alternate routes at times. And yes, just like in traffic, it will take a little longer to get to your destination than you may have originally intended.

Have you allowed God authorization to reconstruct you?

construction_area_authorized_personnel_only_osha_caution_sign 

Detours and Delays!!! Who needs ’em? Who wants ’em?

In a way, we all do and don’t. No, I’m not contradicting myself…just take the meat and spit out the bones. What I mean is that though we generally do not want to be delayed in any process, especially relationships, detours are necessary sometimes to ensure we actually complete the process safely. If a bridge is out and there is no lane closure, the results would be catastrophic! It’s not very different from the results of a romantic relationship that lacks boundaries. So the next time you see the sign to detour when considering a potential dating partner, make the decision to take it with grace and expect delays knowing that not now does not mean not ever.

©2016 Nadia Davis. All Rights Reserved.

 

Finally Thawed

For the last month or more, my daughter has been somewhat “re-obsessed” with Frozen’s Soundtrack . I admit I used to like the song myself, but only when I heard Demi Lovato sing it. Yesterday morning on the way to church she decided to belt out the lyrics of which I’d heard enough of…or so I thought.  I’d never considered the lyrics until this morning. When I walked into bible study, I had no idea how the words of that song would dictate that I’d finally been able to accept God’s permission to receive. The message “The Gift of Letting Go “ preached by Danny Cosby coupled with the reality of the churning that had gone on in my heart for at least two months were all that was needed to actually have me speechless for a change. I couldn’t stop crying.

It wasn’t a bitter cry. More of a battle cry after the victory has been accomplished if you will. I realized I too had built walls around my heart and mind over the years. And my heart was still frozen so there was another surface to penetrate after  the walls of my mind and heart had been diminished. A few months ago I began to understand the necessity of allowing God to tear those walls down so that my future husband wouldn’t have to do so. I realized that every time I’d said to myself, “I believe” and set out to do an outlandish deed in line with God’s direction, fear would have me reconsidering whether I was as in times past “doing too much.” I was taking the very bricks God pulled down and trying to replace them myself. So for the last few weeks I’ve been considering and reconsidering my motives.

It’s Time for a New Set of Bricks…and A New Partner to Build together…The Plans have changed…The Wall is not to be around our hearts, but around our union…The purpose already mirrored one another…

It’s melting…It’s melting!!!

I can’t help the way I feel now and I’ve tried. I tried to rationalize whether he would be capable of loving me like I asked God of my future husband in journals years ago. Over and over again I made excuses. I considered the exposure…I considered the danger of vulnerability…I considered my purpose…I didn’t want to make a “relationship” an idol…but the more I think about it, I realize it will only bring more glory to God as His hand has directed out paths to intersect as it has…so today I surrender…

To the desires of my heart…the desires of God’s heart as I understand now why my urge to pray for him is so urgent at times…Even still until yesterday, I had been praying amiss at times too…praying that God prevent me from loving him…that He prevent me from caring…that I not get distracted by trivial things like loving a man or marriage…Fear led those petitions.

Prayer works definitely, however, when God flatly tells you, “Why are you pushing away what you asked for?” you realize that you can’t exactly “undo” a prayer inline with His will. I’ve been forced to answer that question regardless. For a time, my answer had been a long list of what if’s and reminders of how wrong I’d been before. Time and time again God has revealed how love at first sight doesn’t exist, but that the spirit of the one He has chosen as your partner in purpose is what draws you…that is, I admit what drew me…what still draws me…as if I’m a magnet and he iron…time…distance…attitudes…words…for whatever reason…I’m still drawn…perhaps the draw is so we sharpen one another…I’ve tried to disconnect myself, but denial that his words and deeds are intricately connected to the passions God placed in my heart long before we ever met is useless. I can’t be in God’s will and continue to deny the possibility of expanded purpose with him by my side.

I’m still afraid. Yet, my Father reminds me that though He did not give me the spirit of fear, He provides me courage in spite of the fear. For a recovering control freak, chartering unknown territory can seem daunting, but I know God has led me back to Memphis for a reason…that I had to experience the bad so that when good arrives I would be able to welcome him with open arms and an open heart. So I’ve avoided the possibility of something filling the space…I’d learned to be okay without. As a whole woman, I surmised I’ll be okay without him whomever he is, but my heart knew better even in its weakened state at the time of our first real encounter.

For a time I thought that maybe I had never loved the others and that I merely assumed it was love and it all was infatuation. I was okay with that lie for a while, but in the last week God has revealed in more ways than one that I had indeed loved before…that my only mistake was that I love those who didn’t have the capacity to receive the love I desired and tried to give. I used to think that because at the time I didn’t actually love myself so perhaps I had been unable to love another. Yet, again God has shown me how wrong my assumption had been…that my love for them had been pure, but malnourished. That because I’d allowed myself to lead with my heart and because I left my head before… tossed my pearls before swine  that I was unable to make the “right choice.” I even found myself resorting to old methods of applying who I know now God has promised for me to another.  Genuinely happy for what I considered their union would be, secretly later I felt some kind of way…did not want to know why…

And God has revealed to me the heart of one worthy of my presence. I’m drawn to him though I’ve tried for at least a year to remove myself from the scenario. God still has a sense of humor. I can’t deny how God has re-written my story. When I consider the many transitions I have endured within the last two years, I have learned that my obedience to the voice of God is best. I had to learn the hard way in many ways. I’d carried baggage for years and though I’d heard the voice telling me to “leave it there,” I was almost conditioned to drag it anyway. Thankfully, that’s not my stance now. I realize the additional baggage stalled my progress, kept me unorganized, and weighed me down…

It has taken me a long time to unpack…confronting the reality of “me” has been every bit the daunting task I expected. Still, I regret nothing. It’s easier to walk now. I have perfect peace with God’s decision and finally even with my own. The surgery God performed on my heart and head was delicate and time-consuming, but so necessary. Now that the walls are down, my heart is finally thawed enough to receive the love I desire.

finally-thawed

©2016 Nadia Davis. All Rights Reserved.

Just Be Fearless

A few weeks ago I stood in awe of how one prayer seemed to transform my being from an insecure shell of a woman into a confident tigress!  

images (4)

…A bit Dramatic I know, but I found myself making plans to go jet skiing next month and if God says the same I will!!!

images

For years I had been afraid of heights, spiders, and things that goes bump in the night.  Yet, a few weeks ago, it occurred to me that I hadn’t always been afraid of them.

I couldn’t understand why I started being so fearful. I mean when I was a kid, I used to catch spiders and climb trees!  I had never been bitten by a poisonous spider…well when I was pregnant with Kayla I was bitten by something, but it was never identified.

images (2)

I still haven’t put my finger on it, but I do know now that it is not the way I was meant to live. I mean I just cracked out of my self-imposed shell of introversion recently so things really feel new to me.  

I guess I can understand why Jesus said for us to be child-like.  

download (5)

Children are fearless because they are naturally trusting. Children believe that the one who created them will never hurt intentionally hurt them. For whatever reason over time, I failed to recognize for too long the same is true of my Heavenly Father’s care for me. 

f9a5dc6be1450e0359311ea91bf6fcb2

Whatever the case, I’ve come to realize that I’m alive for a reason and I can’t  fully embrace  what I’m called to do if I’m too fearful to step out of my comfort zone. So I’ve decided to just be fearless! 

©2016 Nadia Davis. All Rights Reserved.

Just Flow

So in the last few months I’ve gotten three marriage proposals of sorts and I decided to consider it not odd. I’m a great catch. No, I’m not conceited, but from here on out I’ve decided to fully embrace all I have to offer…..completely be myself with no apologies, and live the life God’s given me to the fullest!!!! That said, despite those, there have been several other attempts to get me otherwise distracted from what needs to be done. PURPOSE!!!

54929500

It seems that since I was 15 years old I’ve been in some type of “relationship.” It’s not that I’m warding off the idea of marriage or the thought of dating, it’s just that it is amazing how attractive you become when you decide that you’re just fine one way or another…

I mean whether I’m with someone or not….images (1)

I used to allow my mind to be consumed with the what ifs of dating…When my husband and I split several years ago, I toyed with the idea of dating, but even then I was not being honest with myself about what I really wanted or better yet what I needed. At the time, though I waited years to get back on the scene, I still didn’t even understand how to go about it….

I was used to settling…for so much less than who I deserved…I was used to arguing over dumb stuff…so I’ve decided that’s no longer allowed in my life…Some might think it strange that I would say that…Everybody argues right?

Wrong….you really don’t have to argue, but I can agree to disagree…just like I agree to disagree with all of you out there who believes that you must have a life with drama to sustain a relationship…

Lies and Deception….shakespearesmall

I know that laughter is indeed life’s antidote…people might disagree, but the joy I have is too valuable for me to allow drama and bitterness come in and take over…nope…not going anymore even a little bit.

People Prayer works…yes, I know this post is all over the place, but hey that’s just me and I really don’t care how you take that…really I don’t…all I can say is that it is incredibly freeing to be yourself, not be consumed with the opinions of others, and just be content…This probably should have been a post all by itself, but oh well…I’ve learned a few things that I don’t intend to forget…

I’m loved by My Father…I’m loved by Myself…And there’s quite a few others out there that love me too…I’m just so done with people pleasing to my detriment…I’m just so done wondering what this person and that person is thinking about me or what I’m doing…my time is valuable so to major on the minor is no longer an option…images

Amazing how the things we learn only are understood to be a resource later in life….I worked at a marriage ministry…picked up so much information on what to do and what not to do…and  here I am with a problem many ladies might wish they had….images (3)

Three possible suitors simultaneously vying for my attention, yet all I see is purpose.  Not that any of the guys are unappealing…In fact, all are pretty good options I guess…that is if I were interested…Hmmm…a lot to think about, but not so much…

download (1)

I’ve decided to be focused.  I’ve decided to remain ambitious.  I’ve decided to go against the grain and enjoy doing me because it’s the me who needs to be transparent…the me who desires other ladies to get to a balanced place in mind and heart like I’ve been granted….I’m not going back to where I’ve been…I’m not stuck up…just standards call for boundaries…Life has taught me that before I muddied the waters  too much.

Now don’t get me wrong, I do not regret any decision I have made so far…images (1)

I’m just realizing how a good thing may not always be a God thing…and even if that good thing is a God thing, if rushed, it can be ruined….how distance definitely can make a heart grow fonder…and if it was meant to be, it will be.  That said, when the time is right it’s right…images (1)

It’s just nice to know that one day all distractions aside, it will be worth the wait…that maturity is not actually measured by one’s  age…that life is a trip and sometimes you’ve got to be willing to just pack up and roll with it…

In case you’re wondering, I’ve decided to just flow!

©2016 Nadia Davis. All Rights Reserved.

 

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: