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Better Not Bitter

Responding God's Way to Life's Challenges

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rejection

Embrace What’s Right with YOU!

I’ve always been one to find errors immediately. On signs…in books…on television…in speech…I’ve had a knack for correcting things since I was seven…always considering other, better, and more efficient ways of doing most things I’ve observed. In fact, I have to purposely make myself not read my posts at times because I can’t help making the corrections (I know there are errors- for nowūüėá)…so if you have eagle eye for errors…you’ll notice some…at least for the last year I’ve been intentional that way…I use ellipses often so I’m not bound to the tight writing in most things I prefer to read…I attempt to use slang…it¬†started because of a meeting of minds I experienced not long ago…I was told to stop editing myself...I’ve tried…for months I failed…I hadn‚Äôt fully surrendered then…

That post is right here: https://1betternotbitter.com/2015/04/19/quit-editing-yourself/

Fast forward to my now…I realize what I used to call a curse a blessing…that my keen attention to detail…about something being slightly off center…or the use of words like “lie” instead of “lay” when a reference is made to an object an obvious error to me a plus…how even when I was a child I boldly corrected my teacher for telling us there had been only seven types of dinosaurs…I was seven…she should have known better and since she didn’t act like it, I raised my hand and told her so. I was respectful still…unconvinced she got my drift when she insisted I was wrong in front of the class, I brought to school the encyclopedia I’d become fascinated with by age four to show her how wrong she had been indeed…expecting an apology Mrs. Turner just refused to like anything else about me that year…I suppose then as I do now…I expect honesty…to me her excuse that she lied to us was because our grade level would not have been able to understand that much didn’t make sense… I did…so I suppose that’s when the lie that I shouldn’t be so smart was planted…shortly thereafter I was told to be shy…called shy, but God made me to be bold…

I understand now how much of a disservice I’ve done myself and those I’ve met over the years because I chose to dumb myself down for fear of rejection

More about that one is here: https://1betternotbitter.com/2016/09/01/it-was-never-rejection/

I’m not speaking from a place of regret, but of awareness. I understand that a well-rounded education requires pits in the process so I’m grateful for the transition now that I’m seeing it from the other side…

Necessary Evils they are...those lies planted by the enemy in the guise of well-meaning elders or not so well-meaning bullies…those who might have called you fat or ugly because of the beauty others saw in you or that you once saw in yourself was too much for them to compete with so they chose to beat you up because they wouldn’t dare fathom the insurmountable task of perhaps asking instead, “where do you get that joy? How can I be like you?” I know all too well that bullying doesn’t stop with high school or even college…that if you believe the lie that you’re weird, stupid, not good enough…it doesn’t take long for one to find you.

Bet you didn’t consider yourself your own bully, huh? Yep, too often do we become our own biggest critic because someone in our lives posted something…said something or perhaps didn’t say something we thought they should have…regardless of how the seed was planted…we still have a choice…

All are the result of choices…my wholeness is one choice I had to make myself…no input of naysayers or any others…I had to decide to be me…to love me…to receive all God designated for me…to embrace everything right with me...I wouldn’t say I’m a genius, but I truly believe God’s blessed me with the ability to do anything well…He gifted me with the ability to see the errors because He knew I’d be instrumental in changing the scope of His world…attention to the details of the forgotten ones has always been my draw…I was the one to befriend the new kid…to still speak kindly to the one everyone talked about…I was the one wondering the why behind their condition…

I can laugh now because even then God had been forming my heart of compassion for the broken, for the un-churched, for those in church, but feeling shunned…even those so weakened by church hurt they refuse to go back…I used to think I was too sensitive…that I shouldn’t care so much…

I’m so glad I’ve shattered that depiction of me…that I realize my love for others is a gift from God…and how the pain of who I was pretending to be was what was really hurting me all along. Being who you are is the only way you will ever be truly whole.

I understand while people may murmur about the things I do for others when at times I have nothing to spare but time is just part of who I am.

So¬†when I consider all the things that I observe other ladies and gents doing to adapt to “societal”norms, I have to wonder whether the only change necessary is one’s perspective of said society. Rather, perhaps what needs to be adapted is the minds of those individuals…then they will see themselves as God sees them…No, not as those who “say” they represent Christ sees them, but they will know they’re seen with mercy and compassion…seen as His beloved.

That said, focusing on what’s wrong is overrated…from now on do yourself a favor and embrace what’s right with you!

©2017 Nadia Davis. All Rights Reserved.

Worth the Wait

Everybody knows break-ups suck…¬†

Broken-Heart-Backgrounds-HD-Wallpapers-4

…but there is hope for those who are willing to wait.

A few months ago a friend confided in me about her brief encounter with “the one” that fizzled. ¬†I responded to her privately the following words…I’ve changed a few of the dynamics to ensure anonymity as this is not some attempt to put my girl out there. ¬†In fact, I’m really¬†putting myself out there instead, but if I have to put myself out to help another¬†sister realize her worth, so be it.

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So here it is…from my heart to yours…

Oh…girl…I’m so sorry…this is incredibly late…I know that God knows who you need and who you want…the thing is that satan only knows what he hears you say. Understand that satan is a deceiver. He presents us with what and who we think will fulfill the desires of our heart. In this case, I suppose this is what happened here. For me, honestly, I didn’t want to “date” and I actually tried my way to get in touch with the young man I’m with now about a year ago, shortly after my divorce was finalized, but it did not pan out. I never was able to contact him.¬† When I was selling Mary Kay, my crazy butt went to my old job, ran into him and gave him a catalog with my “maiden name” assuming he would make the connection and call me though I handed it to him under the guise of, “get something for your mom and sisters” I know that’s pretty sad, but I’m telling you this—hadn’t shared that before—LOL to let you know how incredibly lonely I thought I was.¬† Yet, God’s timing proved fruitful at a point when I was at my wit’s end, clearly almost a year and a half later. I don’t believe that God wants you to be alone but perhaps he does want you to “give up.” I mean…to give up looking…to give up “your standards” “your desires” and trade them for all He has for you instead. I can attest to the fact that what attracted me to my Joseph was his character first.¬† Yet, when we first met about 7 or 8 years ago, it was his “peculiar” ways that repelled me.¬† It repelled me because my heart was not ready. I was bitter and angry with life and especially men.¬† Perhaps, you too are bitter about some things that have occurred in your life or perhaps there is some area of unforgiveness that needs to be addressed. And when I say unforgiveness, I don’t mean towards another person, but perhaps there’s something that you have held against yourself.¬† I know God would not have allowed me to be in this relationship now had I not truly been able to forgive myself, my ex-husband, and even my mother for some of the things I’ve carried for years. Girl, just thank God for allowing you to get fair warning of what could have been a disaster early. ¬†I know that had I gotten with my guy earlier, I would have ruined it because I hadn’t yet grasped how much God loved me.¬† I hadn’t realized that in my waiting all God wanted me to do was see myself the way He sees me.¬† I encourage you to do the same.¬† Trust me, you’re beautiful inside and out, God knows it and your Boaz does as well.¬† Consider this, Boaz watched Ruth as she worked…so in all you do…do it as unto the Lord and He will direct your path. Never underestimate that your God-sent could already be right in front of your face, mine was, it just took me several years to take my blinders off.¬†Be blessed.

Yes, ladies it may be hard to get beyond the rejection and loss that brews in our minds and hearts as we say goodbye to another potential “one,” but the good thing is that when we¬†know who we¬†are(Fearfully and wonderfully made) and who’s we¬†are (the apple of God’s eye), in time we’re able to wipe the tears and rejoice in the reward that awaits.

IfGodshutsthedoor

©2014 Nadia Davis. All Rights Reserved.

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