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Better Not Bitter

Responding God's Way to Life's Challenges

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process

Embrace What’s Right with YOU!

I’ve always been one to find errors immediately. On signs…in books…on television…in speech…I’ve had a knack for correcting things since I was seven…always considering other, better, and more efficient ways of doing most things I’ve observed. In fact, I have to purposely make myself not read my posts at times because I can’t help making the corrections (I know there are errors- for nowūüėá)…so if you have eagle eye for errors…you’ll notice some…at least for the last year I’ve been intentional that way…I use ellipses often so I’m not bound to the tight writing in most things I prefer to read…I attempt to use slang…it¬†started because of a meeting of minds I experienced not long ago…I was told to stop editing myself...I’ve tried…for months I failed…I hadn‚Äôt fully surrendered then…

That post is right here: https://1betternotbitter.com/2015/04/19/quit-editing-yourself/

Fast forward to my now…I realize what I used to call a curse a blessing…that my keen attention to detail…about something being slightly off center…or the use of words like “lie” instead of “lay” when a reference is made to an object an obvious error to me a plus…how even when I was a child I boldly corrected my teacher for telling us there had been only seven types of dinosaurs…I was seven…she should have known better and since she didn’t act like it, I raised my hand and told her so. I was respectful still…unconvinced she got my drift when she insisted I was wrong in front of the class, I brought to school the encyclopedia I’d become fascinated with by age four to show her how wrong she had been indeed…expecting an apology Mrs. Turner just refused to like anything else about me that year…I suppose then as I do now…I expect honesty…to me her excuse that she lied to us was because our grade level would not have been able to understand that much didn’t make sense… I did…so I suppose that’s when the lie that I shouldn’t be so smart was planted…shortly thereafter I was told to be shy…called shy, but God made me to be bold…

I understand now how much of a disservice I’ve done myself and those I’ve met over the years because I chose to dumb myself down for fear of rejection

More about that one is here: https://1betternotbitter.com/2016/09/01/it-was-never-rejection/

I’m not speaking from a place of regret, but of awareness. I understand that a well-rounded education requires pits in the process so I’m grateful for the transition now that I’m seeing it from the other side…

Necessary Evils they are...those lies planted by the enemy in the guise of well-meaning elders or not so well-meaning bullies…those who might have called you fat or ugly because of the beauty others saw in you or that you once saw in yourself was too much for them to compete with so they chose to beat you up because they wouldn’t dare fathom the insurmountable task of perhaps asking instead, “where do you get that joy? How can I be like you?” I know all too well that bullying doesn’t stop with high school or even college…that if you believe the lie that you’re weird, stupid, not good enough…it doesn’t take long for one to find you.

Bet you didn’t consider yourself your own bully, huh? Yep, too often do we become our own biggest critic because someone in our lives posted something…said something or perhaps didn’t say something we thought they should have…regardless of how the seed was planted…we still have a choice…

All are the result of choices…my wholeness is one choice I had to make myself…no input of naysayers or any others…I had to decide to be me…to love me…to receive all God designated for me…to embrace everything right with me...I wouldn’t say I’m a genius, but I truly believe God’s blessed me with the ability to do anything well…He gifted me with the ability to see the errors because He knew I’d be instrumental in changing the scope of His world…attention to the details of the forgotten ones has always been my draw…I was the one to befriend the new kid…to still speak kindly to the one everyone talked about…I was the one wondering the why behind their condition…

I can laugh now because even then God had been forming my heart of compassion for the broken, for the un-churched, for those in church, but feeling shunned…even those so weakened by church hurt they refuse to go back…I used to think I was too sensitive…that I shouldn’t care so much…

I’m so glad I’ve shattered that depiction of me…that I realize my love for others is a gift from God…and how the pain of who I was pretending to be was what was really hurting me all along. Being who you are is the only way you will ever be truly whole.

I understand while people may murmur about the things I do for others when at times I have nothing to spare but time is just part of who I am.

So¬†when I consider all the things that I observe other ladies and gents doing to adapt to “societal”norms, I have to wonder whether the only change necessary is one’s perspective of said society. Rather, perhaps what needs to be adapted is the minds of those individuals…then they will see themselves as God sees them…No, not as those who “say” they represent Christ sees them, but they will know they’re seen with mercy and compassion…seen as His beloved.

That said, focusing on what’s wrong is overrated…from now on do yourself a favor and embrace what’s right with you!

©2017 Nadia Davis. All Rights Reserved.

Saturate Their Atmosphere with Your Absence

Last night I had the privilege of spending time with a wonderful group of ladies who I have grown to love and trust. While not divulging the details of our gathering, one thing I just must share.

When dealing with difficult people sometimes the best thing you can do is “Saturate their atmosphere with YOUR absence!”

God has been helping me dissect the reasons I still get angry at the mention of certain people’s names or why I get nauseated at the mere presence of others. It is not out right unforgivenness. I just hadn’t allowed myself to go through the process of “forgiving.”

I’ve wondered for years whether something was wrong with me…whether I would ever really get this forgiveness thing down when at times it seems I’m good and others I’m not. I’ve written about it so much…those few posts alone would be great ammunition for a weapon of mass deliverance I’m sure. Yet, I believe I secretly condemned myself for paying too much attention to forgiving and forgetting instead of appreciating my PROGRESS…On the way to meet with these lovely souls, I recounted the many times I’d heard biblical teachings on forgiveness like,

“Unforgiveness is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die.”

I wouldn’t be surprised if I’ve included that quote in prior posts, but what do you do when the offender is the one forcing the toxic syringe into your arm? What is the remedy for desiring to please God by offering an offender grace only to not quite be there yet?

So I considered more closely my feelings about those who had done me wrong….and last night God whispered to me,

“but how does that make you feel?”

“I don’t want to ever be reconciled with the offender!

You see many in the church have hammered into the skull of every would-be Christian that YOU MUST FORGIVE OR GOD WON’T FORGIVE YOU!!!

While the word of God is true, blatantly saying this alone implies forgiveness is a one-size fits all prerequisite to receive God’s grace. ¬†That kind of flies in the face of the Gospel considering grace through Christ was given long before we were violated by offenders in the first place!

So in the back of my mind for a while I have wondered about this in solitude…

Yet when I began studying this area with these ladies I was met with a breath of fresh air…Yes, I’ve got issues…but there’s a way to address them I hadn’t felt I had permission to use until last night.

And before I could condemn myself as I’d done so many times before that moment, He reminded me, “Woman where are your accusers?” They were nowhere to be found…because I chose to walk away…I chose to protect my heart and mind with my departure….and finally… I am perfectly at peace with my decision to ¬†saturate their atmosphere with my absence.

©2017 Nadia Davis. All Rights Reserved.

Stop Faking the Funk

Hmmm…I’m so thankful for this revelation this morning. I’ve commissioned myself to ensure above all else that in my walk with Christ from here on that I refuse to chase the fake again…that I be completely authentic to who God made me.

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That said, I must do away with the roles I once played. I acted a certain way because I apparently failed to realize who I was…who I am…accepting my personality for what it is and refusing to answer a name others gave me. The problem was that I got comfortable in the image I’d built for myself…the walls went up and I never considered the Master builder’s blueprint of me until now…wonderfully and fearfully made…I was stagnant…however, since I was four years old I knew then that I was meant to be peculiar…that there was a reason I did and said exactly what came to mind then…I challenged others to think by the things I’d said…challenged others to consider whether they were being authentic in their responses…

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Yet, over the years, my mind evolved into what I “should do and say”according to the status quo and while I knew it wasn’t the real me, I learned to wear a mask well…I had one for every outfit…with matching shoes…I guess my shoes of peace were too unpopular at the time…

Yet, not anymore. I don those bad boys with Pride…who knew they came in stiletto?

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I realize that by not doing what I want to do regardless of who snarks, I was chasing an ideal of me who was a figment of their imagination…I am comforted in knowing that I owe NO ONE an explanation…that is except God…but God has been trying to get me to grasp this concept for years. I’m grateful that’s He’s continued to keep me through the transformation process.

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A few months ago, I said to myself, “I wonder if a catepillar experienced pain in the process of becoming.” Now when I consider myself, I’m convinced there must be screams only God can hear in those cocoons.

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Nonetheless, I’m glad the Father left me in that cocoon that seemed so dark and painful before…so grateful that His grace was all I needed and that He forced me to work hard on myself so that I get my own blood flowing in the right direction to strengthen my wings….so now that I’m emerging from that shell, I do so in one peace…no longer segmented and confined to a surface level existence. Now I can fly.

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