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Better Not Bitter

Responding God's Way to Life's Challenges

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obedience

Don’t Force the Fit

Let’s face it there are some people who are not meant to be a part of your life anymore.

Cliche as it may be, it’s the truth.  There are some people who were only meant to stick around for a while.  And that “while” does not equate to making it last forever!

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I still don’t really understand why this song is so popular…all that whining and carrying on…I digress…

Let me put it to you this way.  You wouldn’t wear a wool coat in the summer would you?  So why hang onto people who are just as ill-fit for your  next season?

download (5)    Is it Guilt?

Is it loneliness? images (45)

  download Is it familiarity?

Well whatever the excuse, when God gives you the gift of goodbye (Shout out to Pastor K) it’s always in your best interest to bid adieu.

That is so easy to say isn’t it?

Of course it is, but doing it takes a WHOLE lot more faith than we tend to have.  Hey, I’m not pointing the finger.  While I’m typing, I’m preaching to myself too.

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I remember I prayed for months for the Lord to heal my marriage and nothing changed between us until one night I cried at my daughter’s bedside, “Lord, just make him leave!!!! Thy will be done.”

That next Tuesday, He announced plans to move out.

You see I tried to force what didn’t fit anymore. (If it ever did)

Still wondering about that one there!

What I didn’t realize at the time was that God is not obligated when we go against what He said to do.

My point:  Let’s take Abraham, for example. God made a covenant with him and he was given specific instructions to leave his family and go where God alone directed him.  Sure, Abraham left and had the faith to follow where God led him immediately.  There was just one little problem.

Lot went with him!!!

Genesis 12:1-4 New Living Translation (NLT)

The Call of Abram

12 The Lord had said to Abram, “Leave your native country, your relatives, and your father’s family, and go to the land that I will show you. I will make you into a great nation. I will bless you and make you famous, and you will be a blessing to others. I will bless those who bless you and curse those who treat you with contempt. All the families on earth will be blessed through you.”

So Abram departed as the Lord had instructed, and Lot went with him. Abram was seventy-five years old when he left Haran.

Now, it did not say that Abraham invited Lot to tag along, but it also didn’t say that he did anything to prevent Lot from joining him on the journey.

In this way Abraham was partially obedient. And not to add anything to the bible, but I believe by not committing to God’s exact instruction, Abraham also delayed his promise. Think about it. In the very next chapter all you see is drama and confusion.

Oh My how woefully familiar!!!   54125709

 

I believe this is because I too have partially obeyed God’s instruction before and let’s say the blessings that are manifesting for me right now have been a long time coming as a result!

Hold Up! I am no advocate for divorce as I’m sure I’ve mentioned before for the record. However, I’m an avid supporter of EQUALLY YOKED unions though!!!

hindsight

 

Ladies, a word of warning: If a man is not going to change to get you, he will definitely not change to keep you….so it really doesn’t matter whether he puts a ring on it if his heart is not sincere!

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Besides if you don’t have Your Daddy’s approval, you are bound for trouble.

Now we all may need to grow up a bit and I admit I’m still growing so this is NO MAN BASHING SESSION!!!

In fact, I only brought  this subject up because I’ve been swarmed with questions and conversations about relationships lately…As if I had a clue!

Okay this is me and relationships before reading a bunch of other blogs and books about them:

 

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I’m somewhat amazed at some of the questions I’ve received.  Yet, in the same breath, I’m humbled that those who’ve thought to ask my opinion did so out of what they’ve said that I’ve represented before them.

download (7)  Not yet anyway….the first book’s is almost done!!!!!

Regardless, one thing is for certain,  you can’t force what doesn’t fit. So do yourself a favor, stop trying and move on!

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©2015 Nadia Davis. All Rights Reserved.

Be Decisive About Your Destiny

Just say no…to the promotion????  So the other day I declined a promotion I’d been vying for since last September.
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I prayed about my decision that morning and the days prior.  I knew the extra money would help considering the financial struggles I faced last year, but I just didn’t have peace with saying yes.
I suppose I’ve always known I was meant to be a leader so opting to follow again is starting to get old.
I planned to request a meeting with those involved so that I could clarify my intentions face to face, yet the moment the issue came across my mind last Thursday, I received an email from the trainer wondering why I had abruptly stopped my training a few weeks prior.
Immediately I began this response:
 
Thank you for checking in with me. I was just about to get in touch with you in person.  However, since you’ve contacted me I suppose I should share this via email instead.  It pains me to tell you that I will not be able to complete the training as I don’t have peace with the transition.
 
While I love the prospect of helping people and even mentoring people, at heart I’m a writer and advocate for those torn by domestic violence so while I am working in ministry here, I know that God has called me to do more with my gifts.
 
While I will continue to do my duties here for now, I can no longer allow my time to be divided from what I vowed to God long ago.  I am currently working on other projects related to my ministry that demand my immediate attention.  I’m sorry for not letting you know sooner, but I wanted to be sure I was making the right decision.  I’ve prayed about it and I am very sure that this decision is God’s will.
 
Please know that I am eternally grateful for your consideration, but I must respectfully decline the opportunity and be obedient to the Father.
Blessings, 
Nadia Davis

That response sat in my inbox as a draft for the entire weekend.  I pressed send Monday morning after receiving confirmation from my pastor’s sermon as well as the following scriptures I came across the other morning:

1 Kings 19:13-15 New King James Version (NKJV)

13 So it was, when Elijah heard it, that he wrapped his face in his mantle and went out and stood in the entrance of the cave. Suddenly a voice came to him, and said, “What are you doing here, Elijah?”

14 And he said, “I have been very zealous for the Lord God of hosts; because the children of Israel have forsaken Your covenant, torn down Your altars, and killed Your prophets with the sword. I alone am left; and they seek to take my life.”

15 Then the Lord said to him: “Go, return on your way to the Wilderness of Damascus; and when you arrive, anoint Hazael as king over Syria.

Until I’d read those words, I hadn’t consciously decided that my time at this ministry would come to a close so soon.  Yet, the more I thought of the assignments I’d be given and the tasks that would be required of me, the more out of place I felt.

I pondered whether I would state in that email that I would not be there much longer, but I didn’t include it.  I wasn’t being honest with myself or with my employer.  Yet, a mere day after sending it, there I was in my one on one meeting spouting it off without warning.

“This time next year, I will not be here.  I’m working on four books!”

My immediate supervisor acknowledged that he wasn’t surprised by my email and was glad that I could focus on one thing…then reiterated the need to prioritize appropriately. I’m grateful to have encountered such Godly people at work considering the wireless inferno I had been imprisoned in before being blessed to work at the ministry.

I admit, I’m nervous about where God is taking me.  I truly feel like Abraham…going to an unknown place with faith as my guide.  Yet, since He designed my destiny before I was formed in my mother’s womb,  I’m sure I can trust Him to get me there. Regardless from now on I’m determined to be decisive about my destiny!

 

Yeah, I want to sing, but I’ve been called elsewhere for this Season

At work, I’m often intrigued and sometimes even a bit disturbed by the tenacity of some of our constituents.  Today, I spoke with a woman whose comments initiated the latter.  She called in response to our broadcast and immediately went into a tangent of how she has a business that has been going down for years and she did not want to end the business because she is an honest and godly person. She went on to say she needed advice.

blah blah

After she took a breath, I responded telling her that while we do not offer counseling over the phone, we have E-mentoring available. That’s when she broke in again stating that she had no access unless she went to a library. She then again went onto to say how she knew that what she was doing is good and again began spouting off the name of her “singing act” whereby she said she ministers to nursing homes in her area. The way she said it was as if she “needed my approval.”

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Again she took a breath and I seized the chance…I offered prayer, but not before reiterating I was no counselor. She agreed. As I began, the Lord brought to mind the story of Paul when he desired to revisit all the cities he’d preached in before.  I recalled how he mentioned the Holy Spirit would not allow him to go to Asia on at least two occasions…that his service was needed elsewhere instead. After that second attempt, Paul had his vision that help was needed in Macedonia.  Obedient to the Holy Spirit, Paul went. Regardless, Paul did what he had to do.

For those a little fuzzy about the specifics of the journey, the story is detailed in Acts 15:36-16:15.

Leaving Barnabas behind this time, Paul and Silas felt compelled to take an alternate route. They ended up going through the place they originally had planned to go around.

Of course, I didn’t share the specifics of this story in my prayer but bits and pieces came to mind as I interceded on her behalf.

As I prayed, at one point I must have mentioned something about allowing “her to accept Your will” even if it’s against what “she wants to do”…She interrupted the prayer and stated, “I don’t want to do that!” loudly and then began mumbling some other words similar to her original protest. After I closed the prayer…she continued her rant, except stating that she was continuing her prayer, but it was as if she was demanding that her business thrive…that she is praying for “going in” and not “going out.”

I realize that prayer is communication with God and we all communicate differently, but I couldn’t help but wonder where was her reverence?

Now, I applaud her fervor, but I felt like that portion was so not “right.”  I’m not judging her heart because I can’t, but neither can I sit by and agree with what I felt in my heart was wrong. I concluded our call and immediately began re-reading the account of Paul for clarity in my own life.  There had to be another reason that her words were so unsettling to me. Then it hit me! Before ending the call, the lady said, “The Lord knows what I want, and I want to sing!”

One might think that her words were words of faith, but the Holy Spirit showed me otherwise. Those words were of selfish disobedience.

You see I know that because I could identify with them myself….even today…prior to receiving her call, I’d been going through old emails I’d received from our music ministry with song selections.  I’d actually been compiling a spreadsheet of all the songs and artists with the intent of putting my own little organized choir book together so that when I returned to the choir, I’d be ready like I had been before I realized my commitment to that ministry had waned.

I like, Paul, wanted to revisit the places where I’d ministered before.

I, like Paul, wanted to be prepared with a spirit of excellence.

Yet, like this lady who I reluctantly identified with, I wanted to sing too… always have since age 4, so why was I not at peace even as I meticulously typed my little list of songs and artists?

Wasn’t being prepared a good thing? Wasn’t wanting to minister in this way the thing God knew I wanted to do?

Yes, God knows all about me as He does the young lady I spoke with this morning. However, I imagine by her comments, she like I have known for a few years our calling now is elsewhere.  For me I know that God wants me to minister with my written words,  but I hadn’t been as obedient as Paul.  You see as soon as Paul had no peace about his decision to go his way, he changed it in accordance with the Holy Spirit’s leading.  It actually took me almost 2 years to even get a clue as to why things were not meshing together in my life as they had before.

After getting off the phone with the lady, I found myself grieving….but not just for her… for myself as well.

Yet. my grief dissipated as I examined the scripture further.  I didn’t smile because I knew how Paul’s story ended, rather,  at the end of the 6th verse the words “at this time” gave me peace.  They reassured me that God didn’t give me a gift he didn’t want me to use, rather He gave me many to use at specific times and places.  So yeah, I may want to sing, but I’ve been called elsewhere this season and that’s okay with me!

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©2014 Nadia Davis. All Rights Reserved.

 

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