Better Not Bitter

Responding God's Way to Life's Challenges



Lord, Help me with me!!!!

Yesterday I witnessed male castration in a Kroger parking lot!

So today, I feel the need to discuss a woman’s need for submission!

Particularly, I’m speaking about marriage here, but if you’re not married there is still a level of submission necessary for things to flow in  your best interest.

I’m fully aware that the word submission alone sparks fear, anger, and even possibly disgust in the hearts of some women.  However, I’ve been on the wrong side of this coin before–You know, the neck jerking, “No man is going to ever tell me what to do!” and the Quiet as a church mouse, “Yes, dear…you’re so right dear” smug approach ….

Neither of which is true Godly submission.

For one thing, it’s plain disrespectful.  Ouch…I stepped on my own toes here ladies…however, when I mentioned the castration stuff…of course I don’t mean literally, but the look on the gentleman’s face could have equated to the same pain I imagine.

Basically, I witnessed a woman and her man have a bit of a disagreement.  Well, I guess I really can’t say a disagreement because usually that would mean that at least two people were involved right?


I’m not being a butt…it’s just that the guy didn’t really say two words to the countless condescending remarks his lady spat in a matter of minutes.

I really felt sorry for the guy!!!

Now, I wasn’t going to even go here originally because I know just how touchy a subject submission is in and out of the church, but considering that I’ve written about homosexuality and the church I think I’ll live…

I don’t know if they were married.  Regardless, the scenario opened my eyes and gave me another reason to close my mouth.

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Basically,  he was attempting to open her car door and I suppose the way he positioned their basket made it slide in front of the door before he had a chance to stop it, and she just went left!  To me it was an obvious mistake, but it didn’t seem to matter to her.  She went on talking to him like he was a toddler.

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It was not like he’d done it on purpose nor did it appear that he was not going to try to stop it, but upon noticing my stance one car over, the look of “what’s the use” took over his entire countenance.


And she didn’t stop there…she was so whiny and loud…all I could think was,

“Lord help me with me!”  

“Do I ever sound like that?”

I knew that on more than one occasion I had done that or something similar in years passed…months passed…okay maybe even in weeks passed…OTH_Header

…shssh….I had no idea the impact I’d made on those on the receiving end of my wrath….woe…but God’s shown me slowly a better approach…..I’m sure I’m not the only one thankful for that  lesson now…

Proverbs 3:6 (NIV)

in all your ways submit to him,
    and he will make your paths straight.[a]

Listen, ladies…I’m not bashing the young lady.  I just observed what I did and it disturbed me.  It allowed me to see an ugliness that I needed to completely rid myself of if I ever expected to receive and appreciate the love God has for me in my future husband…Yep, I’m optimistic!


Anyway, I’ll leave you with a note of truth mentioned Sunday by  a certain young pastor“You are not his mama and you are not his boss!”


Oh yeah, ladies…one more thing…we ladies can all tend to talk too much…the fact is that you can talk a good man in or out of your life…

I know that there are some independent sisters out there who could care less….I get it…I used to be one of you…that’s fine…you do you and I’ll do me…Image result for too independent to be in a relationship

Yet, the independent attitude gets old…God made us relational so contrary to the “invisible mantra” you may have adopted that says you need no one, we all need somebody other than ourselves to live fulfilled lives.

That said,  ladies, I think we could do ourselves a favor by keeping tabs on our tongue…at least in public!

© Nadia Davis 2015.  All Rights Reserved.






The Letter

Dear Broken Sister,

I hope and pray that you read this message in its entirety as I have a lot to say. I’d be lying if I said that no one put me up to this, but glad that one is our Lord. I know this seems weird that I am contacting you this way. I really don’t know how to begin, but you have been on my mind and heart for quite some time. When I asked for your contact information, I had every intention of providing it to the ministry leader so that we could send you the prior discussion topics on the days you may be unable to attend. But when I thought about it, the paper that you’d written your information on was nowhere to be found. A few Sundays ago I bought an extra CD of the service because I didn’t think I saw you there, and the Lord put it on my heart to get it for you. I’d thought about your mother and prayed that she would be fully rehabilitated and that whatever rift between you two would be mended.

To make a long story short… I HAVE BEEN THERE.

For me, May 8th of this year marked 6 years since God saved me. Spiritually, I first gave my life to Christ at age 7, and again about 2 years ago, but how He truly saved me physically is what I mean. It broke my heart to learn what happened the other night. I became frantic searching for that paper thinking I’d left it in my desk because my purse was a literal maze. I could find it nowhere. Last night I prayed that you would have the strength to let go, and let God. I prayed that you were okay and that you did not lose hope. I prayed that God just helps me to find your email address or number. I even searched in our employee database and could find no contact information. I finally prayed that you would gain confidence in God and not worry about what people say. I found myself crying out before we blessed our food Thursday night on your behalf. I’ve only recently found myself praying in agony for my family, but never had I done that before for anyone I’ve just met. I had no choice though because I wanted God to hear my prayer that you are not discouraged and that you realize that God never meant love to be painful. So despite whatever all the romance novelists and editors say, the original author gave us the perfect example of love. Love is patient. Love is kind. Love is unconditional. God is love. He loves us so much that He gave us Jesus.

First of all, God answers prayers and He hears our cries. I’ve noticed something about our Father….when we ask for His help…He shows up and He also will teach us how to communicate with Him. Only since I’ve been in communication with Him have I realized what a gift I’ve been given. I used to joke about having premonitions and dreams and stuff back in the day. I used to believe in coincidences, but now I can see God’s divine power in me. I know that He has truly given His spirit of discernment. I notice things lately that I hadn’t noticed in the past about people, places, and everything around me. I’m grateful for even having the opportunity for Him to have given me another chance at life. I’m grateful for my children and for them knowing Him intimately even before I did. You can learn a lot from children you know.

My daughter never made a sound amid the chaos; my son was four years old and helpless. I can only imagine him cringing in his bedroom while all the cursing, shouting, and terror ensued. One broken nose, a pair of crooked glasses, a smashed cell phone, a disintegrated glass table, matching blood-stained couch and love seat, one swat team, a negotiator, and seven hours being held hostage in my own home gives me a reason now to praise Him!

Looking back gives me a reason now to thank Him. I know that despite the physical pain, the emotional abuse, and even the open embarrassment of what transpired, the angels of God were watching over me. My daughter was only 6 months at the time and had been on the very couch in front of the shattered table that could have taken my life. She was asleep all the while as he told me to wipe my blood off of his f*@#&* couch. I know now that God held my son in his arms despite his endless tears. I know because I’m still here. I know because I’m here to be there for you. I know you don’t really know me and I don’t really know you, but I know God can do anything if you have faith in Him. I know now that His ways are not like ours so trying to guess his next move is like playing your first game of chess with a Champion. The great thing, however, is in this game even though you may have no idea what move you should make, while in His presence, you can’t lose! Although things look bad, you are playing a fixed game. You’ve already got the victory! Sometimes it takes time and we get frustrated before we realize how He has helped us; usually half way through the game. Is it really much more different in learning to live for Christ? I know from experience that I feel like I’ve gotten in the game late. Now I’ve known of Jesus all my life; grew up in the church. Yet, the sad thing is that I hadn’t known Jesus as my friend, my provider, my help, or my shoulder until a little less than a year ago.

I made a vow this year to turn away from everything that was not like Him and to go to Him in all things. Since that time, He’s spoken to me in so many ways. So many things have happened since I’ve allowed Jesus back in.

You do realize that despite the fact that we may ignore Him and do our own thing, He’s always there, right? There’s no hiding from Jesus. I’m still a work in progress, but I can’t wait to know more about this man who gave his life for me. He did the same for you too. His sacrifice truly is our miracle. Because of His love, we can stand up with our head held high despite what people say or think. Because of His mercy, we are always given another chance. Because of His grace, we survive although we do not deserve it!

Don’t forget that we are heirs to the throne. So my sister in Christ, as a Queen in the Kingdom of the Highest, keep your smile on your face and your head high. It gets easier with time and constant communication with our Father. Please remember, love is kind and patient; not full of pride and anger. God is love. Please know that you don’t need anyone to complete you but Jesus. He will NEVER let you down.

I pray that you will receive the words that God has given me to share with you and that you be released from the bondage satan is trying to use to hinder your God-given potential. Understand that people talked about Jesus and He is perfect, so don’t underestimate your ability to bounce back, be blessed, and be a blessing. Know that by writing this to you I claim that you are healed in mind, body, and spirit. Consequently, I too am healed. Until now, I had not had the courage to admit that the night six years ago was not the first time he put his hands on me, but I cried on the inside.

Pride will do that to us, you know? It can make you lie for six years to loved ones so that you don’t look like the weak one who stayed despite the abuse. It will make you lie to your friends so they will continue to look up to you for leaving him the first time. It will make you lie to yourself until you believed that there really were no warning signs. Pride is so ugly sometimes that it will even make you think that you did something to deserve it. It’s no wonder that God hates pride. I can finally let go of that pride and truly love myself because God didn’t let go of me.

Love always,

Your sister in Christ

P. S.

This is just between me, you, and the Lord. God Bless you always.


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