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Better Not Bitter

Responding God's Way to Life's Challenges

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Homosexuality

Another One Bites the Dust

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I really thought that I was done writing about this subject, but of course, God has decided otherwise. I saw the article the other day about Christian rocker Trey Pearson coming out to his fans in an emotional letter and tried to ignore it. For those who have been following my blog a while you may recall a few posts I wrote about homosexuality and Christianity. For those who have not, here are the links to those posts:

https://1betternotbitter.com/2015/04/28/newsflash-god-loves-homosexuals-too/

https://1betternotbitter.com/2015/06/29/can-a-christian-be-gay/

https://1betternotbitter.com/2015/05/23/grace-for-the-gay-life/

So I felt the need to revisit the topic again anyway because it seems that we Christians are definitely split on the issue. I admit that at times I have even been split myself. I don’t condone the lifestyle. However, neither do I condemn it. I used to wonder why on earth a woman would choose to be with another woman who looks and acts like a man. I used to wonder why on earth a man would be with another man who looks and acts like a woman. And I really had no intention of ever writing about the transgender public toilet issue, but as I learn to be more obedient to the Holy Spirit I realize I have little choice in at least bringing the issue to light.

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I wondered initially why in the world would God place this title on my heart.  It seems so heartless, but I realized that I had heard the song, knew it was an oldie, but had never really paid attention to the lyrics before.  I found an interesting parallel to it and the way we seem to treat people of faith who admit their truth to the world.  Check it out here:

http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/queen/anotheronebitesthedust.html

I couldn’t help but consider the way we gun down our own so quickly.  Now granted, initially I was disturbed by the headline about Trey Pearson. Yes, I am a Christian and yes, I said I was initially disturbed. However, I suppose I was most disturbed by it because I’ve known so many people over the years who have battled with the cover up.  It helped me feel more comfortable with the content of the remainder of this post when I saw the snippets of his interview from the View.

And when I say the “cover up” I don’t mean just covering homosexual desires.  I mean any type of secret sins.  You know the church girl who’s really addicted to sex, the deacon who really has a drug problem, the minister who’s committed adultery multiple times, and yes, the Christian struggling with homosexuality among others.

It seems the church is the only place where we kill our wounded.

Well, about the “coming out issue.”  A while ago, I befriended a young lady and we hit it off great. I’ve never been ashamed of discussing Jesus with anyone and let my kids tell it, I “make everything about Jesus!”  I used to shrink back because of them saying things like this, but hey I do and I will continue to do so.  Of course I’m not bashing folk over the head with the bible, but somehow I tell a little of my testimony everywhere I go.  I guess when you have lived through as much as I have gratitude just seeps.

Anyway, this young lady was married and had a 15-month old daughter when we met.  We’ve since lost touch and that’s really the only reason I feel comfortable sharing this.  a9974907b605006c10dca8a9239c9c88

At the time, I immediately noticed the smile on her face didn’t match the sadness in her eyes when she spoke. It was a façade.  However, at the time, I thought her mask was one hiding domestic violence and not that she had been  struggling with homosexuality.  As a matter of fact, in our first interaction, I mentioned this blog and I commented about how God was allowing me to minister in the strangest ways to all sorts of people. She is a Christian too.

For the record, Christianity has absolutely nothing to do with religion. It is a relationship with God through Christ!

Moving on….

I recall now that at some point in that initial interaction I mentioned I had been called to even assist those struggling with homosexuality, but I hadn’t understood how yet…that I really believe that avenue will be handled by my son as noted in one of the posts above.  I guess I was in my talkative zone and didn’t notice her gaze at that moment.d4c77a23ae75d87212a22a76bdb183a8

Fast forward a few months…we only spoke a  few more times when I’d talked with her about my writing, my kids, my desire to visit Nigeria to which she mentioned that her husband is Nigerian.  Well, the last contact I had with her struck me.  Though it had been a while since we spoke.  I guess seminary had me touch and go.  Anyway, I knew that God put her on my heart for a reason so I texted her to see how she was doing. She quickly responded that she had been going through.  I felt the need to send a message something like: “If you just need someone to listen, I’m here.  No judgement.”

Boy was I in for a surprise!  I just knew she was going to say something about her husband hitting her or some junk, but she dropped this bomb instead:  “My husband found some nude photos of a woman in my phone and I was entertaining it.  He knows that I was sexually involved with women before we got together.  He is really hurt.”

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I just sat in the parking lot in awe.  However, my response  to her admission was that nothing is too hard for God and then I found myself sharing what I am about to share here with you.  “Well, we have all slipped out of God’s will, and while I have never been in a lesbian situation, I have no idea how many men I have slept with! Yes, it’s been that many! If God’s grace could cover me, He could change anyone.” She responded with relief and gratitude.  I prayed for her and her marriage.  I prayed for God’s mercy and His guidance. However, most importantly before I ended our conversation I made sure that she knew that God loves her and that I did also.

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I’m only sharing this now because I lost touch with her after that and I feel that someone out there needs to know this.

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I hope and pray that things are going well for her now, but only God knows the outcome of that scenario. What I do know is the outcome of my scenario and what I have observed so far in this scenario with Trey Pearson.

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He is being exactly who he believes God made him to be.  It’s really not for us to understand his mind and heart. As for that acquaintance, she was obviously struggling with a sexual situation or even a soul tie. That in itself is from the enemy just as I had been. I used sex as an outlet because I didn’t even understand how much I was worth.

Now I did notice that Trey mentioned that he had been “attracted” to men since adolescence.  It seems that it would have a sexual aspect to it on the surface, but who knows? God does and yes He will judge accordingly.  Regardless, he will also judge everyone else for the lies, fornication, adultery, idolatry, murder, etc.  No sin is bigger than another, but all too often we surely try to make it that way, don’t we?

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I don’t condone homosexuality.  I’ve just grown in my faith enough to know that sometimes the only way to persuade others from the error of their ways is to love them through it.  That’s what Christ did for me and to me.  In fact, I was the main one condemning myself and then He allowed me to put myself in the place of the women caught in the act of adultery…oh yeah, I’ve been there and done that too..TWICE!!!  So I guess if I could end this post with anything that needs to be said it would be what Jesus said to her/me:

John 8:8-11 Amplified Bible (AMP)

Then He stooped down again and started writing on the ground. They listened [to His reply], and they began to go out one by one, starting with the oldest ones, until He was left alone, with the woman [standing there before Him] in the center of the court. 10 Straightening up, Jesus said to her, “Woman, where are they? Did no one condemn you?” 11 She answered, “No one, Lord!” And Jesus said, “I do not condemn you either. Go. From now on sin no more.”]

BAM!!! And  there it is folks.  I figure I should let that whole deliverance from sexual and relational addictions out there before the enemy has the nerve to think that I care about the things I’ve done in my past.  However, I realize that I’m no longer ashamed because I’ve been delivered from the desire to “need” an illicit relationship to feel complete.  That’s what true wholeness it about.  I’ve finally got it and I’m not giving it up for anybody.

confident one I just love this pic of me!!!

All that said, when it comes to people who struggle with sin regardless of whether it is on display or covered, we as Christians are not called to condemn them.  We are to love them so at least then another one doesn’t have to bite the dust.

©2016 Nadia Davis. All Rights Reserved.

 

Can a Christian be Gay?

Note…this is from the heart…hip…on my mind…not really editing this so be warned…No room for a bunch of funny pics or quotes….just real talk…that’s it…

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It seems a fairly innocent question.  Yet, one with a plethora of possible responses…the easy out would be to choose yes or no, but even that isn’t so easy anymore is it?  For the most part, to answer the question whether a Christian can be gay or not, one would have to inevitably dissect the meanings of at least two words in the question.  Even then, those words, “Christian” and “Gay” are subjective to societal norms.  Norms…it seems that there really aren’t any of those anymore either. Alas, I must agree that with the turn of events occurring within the US in recent weeks, my mind and heart is indeed grieved.  As I’ve mentioned in prior articles, the inevitable civil war that seems to have erupted in our midst came to a head with all that’s happened.

I found it beneficial to my heart and mind to fast from social media for a while. I had great intentions.  I removed the apps from my smart phone and refused to log in on my pc.  Yet, I underestimated the extent the recent news of the Supreme Court’s decision would impact me. So I received a text message from a friend who has been delivered from the grip of homosexuality asking how I feel about the Court’s decision.  I’d forgotten it was expected during my voluntary period of remission.  I thanked him for sending me the heads up and silently before responding further, grieved for our nation.  I regressed. I started to voice my opinion on that day, but perhaps writer’s block had me bound.  I couldn’t pen anything positive…anything plausible…anything useful in my opinion.  So I did nothing that day.

Instead, I waited. I waited to login to anything.  Concern for a loved one who’d been directly impacted by the deaths in South Carolina, I did manage to go online later that night, however. Maybe even that was technically the next day.  Who knows?  Sleep has escaped me for a few days.

I was bombarded with rainbows and insults.  Rainbows and taunts of “love winning” and again I grieved wondering had love really won anything?  Every picture I saw was vulgar and I silently wondered why was it so necessary to display this sin so flippantly.  Why was this area of opportunity one the church had all but sat down when confronted with it?

I was never angry with the court’s decision and I’m not angry with those persons involved with their decision to be a homosexual either, but I am grieved.  I’m saddened that it seems that this and the shootings the week prior or further evidence of our depraved societal standards…then I wonder is there even a standard any more. I watched Madea’s Witness Protection the other day and the remark was made by Tyler Perry’s character aka Madea “It’s a church, of course it’s safe” or something like that in response the apprehension of the Caucasian attorney who asked whether it would be safe for him since it was a predominantly African American church.  I couldn’t help but note the horrible irony.

So I am forced to ponder additional questions …Can a Christian be a murderer?  Can a Christian be a prostitute?  Can a Christian be a liar?  Can a Christian be an adulterer?  And back again, Can a Christian be gay?

I also was told days prior to the court’s determination that a 16 year old boy is now homeless because he decided to “come out” to his parents who are professing Christians. Pain has a tendency to make people do extreme things.  Again, at this news I was grieved.  I thought how not long ago, if a girl told her parents that she was in love with a young man at 16, it would have been chopped up as “puppy love” or “confusion”  The parents might have stepped back and allowed the “phase” to take its course knowing that their teaching would allow her to make the proper decision in time.  Nevertheless, they would not have gone through such drastic measures to prevent the two from being together.  In retrospect, the attempt is largely counterproductive.  While there are exceptions to this…what one thought was “real love” was never a reason to “not love” the one caught in the crossfire of a mistake….well, aside from Shakespearean tragedies…all fictional accounts but eerily similar to the more pressing issues in our reality today…

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Perhaps society refuses to know how deceitful one’s heart can be?

For the brief time I spent on Facebook last weekend, I saw one post state  “religious hypocrites chose to forgive a murderer last week, but now condemn the court’s decision.”

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With that some conservatives would love to say “no” to all of the questions above while some liberals would be in favor of the court results…yet some conservatives would also be in favor of the confederate flag being removed while others wanted this obvious emblem of racism to stay in place because of “tradition.”  Oh how we mirror the Pharasees and Sadduccees in the church now…so quick to point the finger, yet act as if we have arrived on so many other levels….

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Some things are still certain amid all the chaos of our day.  God doesn’t need walls to talk to know what’s going on!  Jesus Christ paid for all of our fallacies with His priceless blood so our judgment of others still needs to be one from a position of real love without compromising what the Bible says about this and every issue that attempts to maligns the will of the Almighty.

God is not mocked and while He is indeed patient, He will judge the land and the people who inhabit it. For the record, that includes how we Christians treat one another as well.

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So back to the question at hand, Can a Christian be gay?  Why bother to answer at all? Consider this one instead: Can a gay person be saved?

For those who might have missed the point in my rambling…that answer is clear…

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©2015 Nadia Davis. All Rights Reserved.

Grace for the Gay Life

“I’m just letting you know that if I get suspended from school on Tuesday, it’s for a good reason.”

Granted, that is not exactly the greeting I’d hoped to get from my 17 year old son who’d been driving me “nuts” with the way he’d been “flubbing” up his grades lately…

However,  yesterday I knew I needed to listen and say nothing.

So I did and he continued.

He began, “Okay, there’s this dude I know…he doesn’t bother anybody…he rides the school bus with me…Well, we wore a wig to school…and…well, he’s confused…Anyway, he wore a wig to school and they suspended him for nothing so the whole upcoming senior class is planning to purposely disregard the school’s dress code in protest of his treatment. They can’t suspend everybody!”

 

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That was his logic…I almost worried whether he would be the only one brave enough to do it…

He continued “I mean, I don’t condone his lifestyle, but he didn’t do anything wrong so mama, I’m gonna wear a “wife beater” and I’m gonna sag on Tuesday in protest!  So when I get suspended, you can’t say it wasn’t for a good reason”

Hmmm…a good reason…that got me thinking again about all the questions I’ve asked of God.  I was always told of the “good” that would be revealed.  I admit some of those goods have yet to manifest in my life, but given those I have experienced already, I’m yet hopeful.

I imagine that my son assumed that I would have been upset with him for his premeditated rebellion, but I wasn’t.  I was proud.

I was proud because not long ago the first thing he mentioned when he arrived at the performing arts school was that there were a lot of “confused” students and he immediately wanted to go elsewhere.

However, after a while he realized that these students were not much different than himself. I shared with him then he was called to minister to them.  He shrugged it off and I almost forgot about it myself until I saw the smile in his eyes when he mentioned what he was going to do on behalf of his comrade.

My son then went on to say that he was more upset with the faculty because they all walked by the young man laughing at him while he was in the office.  He even mentioned how one of the security guards called him a f*#%t-I can’t even bring myself to type the word.

I can only imagine how ostracized the boy might have felt.

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I wouldn’t be surprised if my son came up with the protest idea himself.  I also wouldn’t be surprised if he were the only one to do it.  He’s a born leader and strong-willed in every way.

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I am most proud of my son because he has learned to see this young man, though “confused” as he put it, as God sees us.  I could say that my words of wisdom helped him reach the point of his decision yesterday, but I know that it was the Holy Spirit. Recco is willing to sacrifice himself for the wrong done to another.

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Considering the times this year I’ve been tempted to assume my son was possessed (teen-attitudes-who needs ’em), I could have easily dismissed his decision to purposely get suspended for this “good reason” as reckless.

Yet, I can’t help but smile knowing my son is getting a bit more like Jesus everyday in that he too has an abundance of grace for the gay life.

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©2015 Nadia Davis. All Rights Reserved.

 

Newsflash: God Loves Homosexuals Too!!!

So this morning I’ve found myself more grateful for the gift of boldness I’ve been given. I suppose I have edited my comments on this subject too…by keeping quiet, but that would be too easy so here goes something.

Disclaimer:  By the way, from now on I’ve decided to not edit my posts until after the first run…I’m still a little nit picky, but this freeing “lack of activity” is helping me to actually let loose and reach my goals instead of writing and re-writing post after post without actually publishing them-For the Record, I have more drafts than posts-so yes, it’s A NECESSITY…anyway…grammarians beware…I know better, but out of the heart flows the issues of life so…

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I love how God connects the dots of our lives.  So about the same-sex marriage issue, homosexuality, gay pride, and all the other terms that have been thrown around in the media yet eerily hushed in the church…I believe the issue at hand is a matter of ignorance and pain not hatred…indeed fear and anger…no bigotry…well at least not most of the cases I’ve observed.

Now granted there are some STUPID PEOPLE out there who have physically hurt and even killed those who identify themselves as a part of the LGBT community as their dumb attempt to so call “cleanse” our world of who they feel don’t belong….

Hmm sounds so familiar doesn’t it?  Oh yeah, that’s how that whole racism/slavery/civil rights uproar started huh?

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There are some who argue that some people are born homosexual.  Until about three weeks ago, I would have disagreed.  I’ll explain in the next post in this inevitable series.

There are others who say that the lifestyle is a choice.  I was one of those people before. In the cases of the people I know who are openly “gay,” they admitted it was their choice…albeit involuntary…still a choice…I’ll explain that in an upcoming post too.

If you haven’t noticed a little trend here, there is A WHOLE LOT MORE TO SAY ABOUT THIS ISSUE …so the confines of one measly post wouldn’t do it justice so I rather than to go off on a million tangents in this one, I’ve deemed it necessary to expand this area….

That said, I do encourage your comments-good or bad because I know that God’s called me to be a voice in this area for some strange reason…I say “strange” because I’ve never been on the other side of the fence if you will…images (8)

However until I gather more information…testimonies…stories and news…

Well that’s it…I don’t really know the direction that God is going with this yearning, but I know that it will be all good in the end so I’m going with that.

Did I ask for this?

In a word:

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Okay that was three, but you know what I mean#smirk

However, this has been on my heart for quite some time and within the last few weeks I’ve been bombarded with it whether I want to go there or not…

Feeling some kinda way right now…ms_jonah(1)

Well, I guess that’s not the best example considering that Jonah hated the people that he had been called to help.

That’s so not me…as much as I’d like to strangle a few folk every now and again for the silly things they do and say, I hate no one. Rather, since I was a child, my heart has bled for the broken…

God touched my heart a couple weeks ago when He whispered to me that He wanted me to minister to “another” type of broken people…

…Not just those women impacted by sexual abuse or domestic violence, not just those ladies who felt jilted by love, and not even just those children who found themselves involuntarily caught in the crossfire of chaos…but a broken that I never felt like I understood…a broken people that though I was ignorant of many of the struggles they may or may not face, have always had a special place in my heart and mind…

I admit…I have been disturbed by some of the things I’ve heard and seen, but I’m still sitting on the fence as to whose actions have had me more shocked as of late…images (19)

There are some Christians who are on the down low.

There are some Christians that are just low-down when it comes to the way they treat others regardless of sexual “orientation” or “preference.”

Regardless, everything I just mentioned is and always has been a moot point.

That said. I do believe that marriage is only marriage when the two involved are one man and one woman.

However, as a Christian there are some things that we must consider about God’s character:

 God is Love: 

1 Corinthians 13:4-8 New International Version (NIV)

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.

Since God is love, I submit that He LOVES everyone! And yes that includes HOMOSEXUALS!!!

Now I’m sure that I’ve probably gotten a bunch of snarls and gasps by that last comment.  Who knows? Perhaps I may even get un-friended or un-followed for typing that, but I really don’t care. After all Jesus was ostracized for spitting the the truth so I’m still in good company.

Anyway…back to the subject at hand…

While real love is unconditional, it is not often exemplified in a manner that allows one to have his or her own way.  Ask any attentive parent that question.

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We as Christians must learn to relax in the right way!  Now with all the stories coming out about this person and that person who just “came out” it seems that our world is too preoccupied by the commercials instead of focusing on the program at hand.

Perhaps we are so caught up at times in hating the sinner that we forget that we too have fallen short of God’s glory, albeit in other ways possibly, but still just as sinful as our homosexual counterparts.

Jesus didn’t come to condemn the world but to save it.  Did we forget that part, church?

No, that does not mean that it’s time to allow two men or two women to be married in our churches, but if a couple comes in arm and arm and your first thought is to snarl, consider not just what Jesus would do, but consider what He did do.  Not to mention what He still does, through His Holy Spirit for you today!!!

When He clothed Himself in our flesh, He was constantly verbally attacked by religious leaders until yest their rage incited physical attacks, and ultimately death because He  was considered to have consorted with those who were “Sinners.”  But He Did Rise Again!!!

Is anything too hard for God? No, but it seems that the simplest things like loving one another is so hard for us doesn’t it.

Are you the one who denies that family member access to your child because you fear the “influence”- Disclaimer-There are some folk that will molest kids so I understand protection, but there is a better way to explain things to them. I know full well that it was no coincidence that our broadcast aired this info right when God had placed it on my heart to pen this post…

I’m humbled and grieved…

Yet, I am thankful that there are authors and speakers out there like Sean McDowell teaching that better way…God’s way…the loving way to address this overwhelming shift in our culture.

For the Record>>>>>

We all are sinners…the only difference between your sin and that of a brother or sister in Christ who may struggle with same-sex attraction is that your sin is not displayed like a scarlet letter.

I have a question for you.  All things considered, if you know better…want to do better…try to do better, but every time you fail, it’s stamped on your forehead, would you at some point just give up trying?  I would. So perhaps that is what many of our sons, daughters, cousins, brothers, aunts, uncles, and even mothers and fathers have taken to heart.

Though the decision being discussed in the Supreme Court might strike an uneasy cord in our nation today, consider that the reason this is happening is because so many of God’s children have forgotten that a threefold cord is not easily broken.  Perhaps when we get together and include God’s real point of view in this matter as well as so many others, we too we be able to love as He so unconditionally does.

©2015 Nadia Davis. All Rights Reserved.

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