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Better Not Bitter

Responding God's Way to Life's Challenges

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Holy Spirit

My Earnest Reply

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I’ve been contemplating a request that had been made of me for a while.  I shared my thoughts with a trusted friend and he advised that I ensure that the call was more than a mere desire…that it was an actual call from God….

Over the years, I’ve discovered a few things about my name.  I knew that it meant hope, but about 5 or 6 years ago, I was given the opportunity to look up my name’s meaning in Sunday School class as we all were instructed.

Sure, Hope was there and right beside it was this:

One called by God.

You would think that in that instant, I would come running to the Lord requesting how I can be of service…yet something very different occurred.  Well, this morning I decided that I was no longer going to do things my way….so I emailed my friend this long response…Of course I have edited some things, but in those 5 minutes, I knew all the more that I had a responsibility to God’s call to offer an Earnest Reply…

Dear…

I have considered it. And while it might seem that it has been matter of days since our conversation on the subject, I’ve been having the conversation with God for years. Except, I am perfectly honest, my role has been more like Jonah and Gideon the majority of this trek. When I speak about Christ and see the impact on others, I get energized. And by no means do I mean my input because I know that the Holy Spirit works within me at times when I’m led to speak to individuals about Him. I know that all the information I’ve read has nothing to do with what I can regurgitate at a given moment. My memory is not that good! I do know that I had to see for myself if I was indeed doing what He wanted me to do by at least visiting. Of course I have no money so I prayed that if this is the route He wants me to take, He has to make a way in the desert. So far things He has provided have done just what I should have expected all along. He’s connecting the dots so well I can see the picture more clearly and I’m excited. I mean I can go 48 hours with no sleep…be exhausted…which was my lot the other night with my friend who is struggling in her faith…yet, when I began explaining to her the relationship that I have with Christ and how He’s done so much in spite of the outside, I was energized all over again. I know that this is why I’ve haven’t received another job with a neatly corporate cubicle. I’m not meant to be there…not stuck behind a computer unless I’m connecting with someone out there who is hurting a little less because of something I’m led to share. That’s been my main focus from the beginning with regard to writing books, encouraging others, uplifting hurting people…I don’t hope to have some mega church someday, yet, I already know that God has promised me that my contributions will lead to thousands if not millions getting to know Him better. That’s my goal again. I had lost sight of it a while thinking about what I needed to do to make it work…make it prosperous by the world’s standards…clothes, money…but that stuff has never really appealed to me…well, at least not as an adult. I mean I love Michael Kors and other designers, but over the years, I’m grateful for God allowing me to notice something as simple as a bumble bee settling on a nearby rose. The simple things are what I crave and what I desire. So while I’ve considered the difference of the call and my desire, I conclude the two are interchangeable. I cannot separate one from the other as I finally realize what it means to have the desires of my heart…that I’m content in the cold and dark or in a warm home to call my own…that my desires have been steadily transformed to appreciate My God’s presence so much more than His presents. I know this is long and before I began typing I had no idea I would say all that, but that’s what I’m talking about…when I write about My Father it just flows….

I guess I should get to the second part finally, huh? Well, The institution is requesting that I provide three references and one of which is a lay reference form. While you are a minister and I have known you a short time, I still consider you a friend. I would appreciate it if you are able to fill out the form and either give it to me Sunday or send it. I apologize for the late notice because I know you’re very busy.

Oh…and since I did write all this out…don’t be surprised if you see most of this information on my blog…minus the names of course….Oh and if it’s not obvious that I’m in a better mood…no things haven’t exactly gotten better on the financial or circumstantial aspects…In fact, I just received word that my home is Little Rock has been accelerated into foreclosure and my neighbor informed me that someone was in my house and it’s likely that my furniture is gone…so I guess I was more accurate than I thought when I said that God is me starting over from scratch, but I’m still all smiles. …Okay I’m done….long winded aren’t I? LOL…Have a blessed one…See you Sunday!

Warm Regards,

Nadia L. Davis,

Grace for the Gay Life

“I’m just letting you know that if I get suspended from school on Tuesday, it’s for a good reason.”

Granted, that is not exactly the greeting I’d hoped to get from my 17 year old son who’d been driving me “nuts” with the way he’d been “flubbing” up his grades lately…

However,  yesterday I knew I needed to listen and say nothing.

So I did and he continued.

He began, “Okay, there’s this dude I know…he doesn’t bother anybody…he rides the school bus with me…Well, we wore a wig to school…and…well, he’s confused…Anyway, he wore a wig to school and they suspended him for nothing so the whole upcoming senior class is planning to purposely disregard the school’s dress code in protest of his treatment. They can’t suspend everybody!”

 

raised eyebrow

 

That was his logic…I almost worried whether he would be the only one brave enough to do it…

He continued “I mean, I don’t condone his lifestyle, but he didn’t do anything wrong so mama, I’m gonna wear a “wife beater” and I’m gonna sag on Tuesday in protest!  So when I get suspended, you can’t say it wasn’t for a good reason”

Hmmm…a good reason…that got me thinking again about all the questions I’ve asked of God.  I was always told of the “good” that would be revealed.  I admit some of those goods have yet to manifest in my life, but given those I have experienced already, I’m yet hopeful.

I imagine that my son assumed that I would have been upset with him for his premeditated rebellion, but I wasn’t.  I was proud.

I was proud because not long ago the first thing he mentioned when he arrived at the performing arts school was that there were a lot of “confused” students and he immediately wanted to go elsewhere.

However, after a while he realized that these students were not much different than himself. I shared with him then he was called to minister to them.  He shrugged it off and I almost forgot about it myself until I saw the smile in his eyes when he mentioned what he was going to do on behalf of his comrade.

My son then went on to say that he was more upset with the faculty because they all walked by the young man laughing at him while he was in the office.  He even mentioned how one of the security guards called him a f*#%t-I can’t even bring myself to type the word.

I can only imagine how ostracized the boy might have felt.

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I wouldn’t be surprised if my son came up with the protest idea himself.  I also wouldn’t be surprised if he were the only one to do it.  He’s a born leader and strong-willed in every way.

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I am most proud of my son because he has learned to see this young man, though “confused” as he put it, as God sees us.  I could say that my words of wisdom helped him reach the point of his decision yesterday, but I know that it was the Holy Spirit. Recco is willing to sacrifice himself for the wrong done to another.

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Considering the times this year I’ve been tempted to assume my son was possessed (teen-attitudes-who needs ’em), I could have easily dismissed his decision to purposely get suspended for this “good reason” as reckless.

Yet, I can’t help but smile knowing my son is getting a bit more like Jesus everyday in that he too has an abundance of grace for the gay life.

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©2015 Nadia Davis. All Rights Reserved.

 

You Are What You Eat…Choose Wisely

Okay I admit….I’ve been still struggling with road rage….the last few weeks hasn’t been easy and the other day, I went off….The ironic thing is that earlier that day, I’d read the passage from Our Daily Bread about how a “so-called” courteous driver allowed another driver in front of him and because the receiving driver didn’t nod or wave, the other one kind of went berserk!  When I finished reading it, I remember thinking how completely unnecessary his actions were.  Yet, I succumbed to the same idiocy not an hour later!  What’s worse is that my 11 year old daughter bore witness to my antics…

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So…if I may explain...

I was attempting to exit I-630 right in the middle of a hard-hat war zone…the woman in the car to my right was cruising in my blind spot and was attempting to do the opposite.  I saw her so I guess she wasn’t really in my blind spot, but she was obviously not paying attention to me.  Anyway…she nearly side-swiped me with a quick left and my mouth followed suit…let’s just say I had a moment…

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…Not a good one, but still a moment.  Immediately I said, ” I need to get in the word” My daughter responded, almost sighing, “We all do, but I think you need to eat the whole bible!”  She was laughing when she said it, but clearly the last few minutes had been no laughing matter.

Years ago, the Lord showed me that cursing was beneath me and as if some light bulb was ignited, I just sort of stopped doing it.  Along with the urge to curse, went my tendency to gossip (yes people, listening to it counts too), and my desire to argue.  I also no longer cared for the “liquid courage” that held me captive for years either so what happened?  As soon as I thought the question, the answer came to mind…

… I knew that James said it but didn’t know where.  Arriving home, I felt horrible for two reasons.

#1 I felt like I’d failed God. 

#2 I felt like I’d failed my daughter.

So reluctantly I peeled back the pages to reveal the truth I avoided for so long…

James 3:9-11(NLV)

Sometimes it praises our Lord and Father, and sometimes it curses those who have been made in the image of God. 10 And so blessing and cursing come pouring out of the same mouth. Surely, my brothers and sisters, this is not right! 11 Does a spring of water bubble out with both fresh water and bitter water?

You see, I started writing this post early last week but I filed it away half-finished…
 
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I’ve done that a lot lately.
 
 
When that pinch of conviction hurt too much or when I realized I didn’t have it all together, I voluntarily pushed the words God put in my mouth aside because I didn’t like the taste of them.
 
Well yesterday at work I was forced to eat those words anyway…call after call…I was reminded of what I needed to do.  At least 4 calls in a row were prayer requests.
 
  • One guy called saying that he and his wife struggled with prioritizing and that he seemed too busy for regular time with God…my prayer for him included a reminder that prayer is merely a conversation with God…that we should MAKE the time for Him…
  • A mother wanted her relationship with her son and her mother to improve…she was seeking approval for the way she’d been handling things.
  • A wife called pleading for improved communication with her husband…
  • Still another woman mentioned a portion of a verse that hit home…She said she knows the enemy must flee if she resists him.  Immediately I corrected her stating, “so many of us get that verse wrong.  It says that we are first to submit to God, resist the devil, and he must flee!”

I know now that I was not speaking on my own authority or my own thoughts. Who was I to judge?  I know now that the Holy Spirit was leading me to assist them while assisting myself.

 
 
By the end of the day I was humbled.  I realized my prayers for those anonymous callers had become my own.
 
 
So yes, I’ve been hesitant lately.  I’ve not posted as often because of my “own issues” but God again reassured that my transparency sets others free too.  Despite cringing under the conviction that I too had some adjustments to make,
I’m grateful for His reminder that over time I’d been taking in too much “junk” and not feasting on His word like I used to…He graciously pointed out that the difference between me and a none believer SHOULD be evident…that my spiritual physique should be void of bitterness, cursing,  and doubt.
 

John 16:13 (NLT)

13 When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all truth. He will not speak on his own but will tell you what he has heard. He will tell you about the future.

I’ve always known that too much junk food negatively affects the physical body, but, now I also know the same is true for my spiritual body.  So the past aside, I’m re-learning to be a picky eater.

 
 ©2014 Nadia Davis. All Rights Reserved.

 
 

Duty Calls, but should you listen?

Most of my life I’ve had difficulty allowing the word “no” leave my lips. I’ve always volunteered. I like doing for others so I guess I’m a servant at heart.  Well, Jesus exemplifies the ultimate servant and I’m glad for His example.

Yes grateful, but admittedly hard-headed as I am, I haven’t always followed His lead.  I mean the bible shows that “Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed”  (Luke 5:16 NIV).   He literally stepped away from His “duties” to get in God’s presence alone. Yes, Jesus knew the importance of prioritizing appropriately.  I thought I did too…

I mean I was singing in the choir, feeding the homeless, writing for the newsletter ministry, and attending just about every service we had in church so how could I not have it right?  

Yep, I was wrong! What I had were mixed up priorities!  Rather, I guess I really hadn’t prioritized much of anything.  Instead, I was a mini- Pharisee (CRINGE)…so caught up in the “duty” of things that I never took the time to recognize what was truly important.

Okay so I’ve written about this before but considering the messages and questions I’ve gotten lately about why I’m not “doing” anymore, I suppose the message bears repeating…Not that I owe anyone an explanation, but perhaps in doing so, others will realize they too may have some changes to make.

God rested on the Sabbath. Yet, the bible also says, God never sleeps so what’s up with the need for the Sabbath day rest?

Well, the period of rest was not meant for God’s sake, but merely an example so that we’d realize we need to take a break every once and a while. Otherwise, unlike God, we’d get burnt out and even resentful, ie: weary in well-doing.

And who is that helping?

Yep, nobody but the devil.

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When we’re overburdened with duties, however well-intended, we murmur and complain and that’s equivalent to praising satan! Now as much as I hate to think that I’d ever be considered one to praise the devil, I had to come to terms that my complaints (and yours too), however small, are still just that.

Now I’m learning to be content in every situation.  And yes, the many challenges I’ve faced in recent months have indeed tested my allegiance to that statement. Yet in retrospect, had I listened to the right voice the first time, I likely wouldn’t have even encountered it.

To clarify, the right voice is the Holy Spirit and though for years I was urged to take a seat, I chose to “do the right things” my way instead.

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My prior disobedience resulted in depression, family turmoil, faltering faith, and the list of woes goes on…so if you’re reading this and you know me personally, understand that it’s not that I haven’t heard Duty calling, I’ve just decided to listen to the Holy Spirit instead.

©2014 Nadia Davis. All Rights Reserved.

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