Posts Tagged ‘Freedom’

A wound superficially covered will cause infection, but bleeding and allowing the wound exposure is often the best way to heal it. At least it is for me…

  • True Forgiveness Requires Grief!
  • It Requires Stages.
  • It Requires that one face the pain of what happened and why it happened.
  • It Requires Identifying who is responsible.

All the answers may never be gathered, but to slap a “Forgive and Forget It” Band-Aid on a Gaping Wound is senseless and now I realize is simply unbiblical! The Process Requires the need to not just breathe in God’s redemptive air, but to also bleed…

The Stages of Grief are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.

So now I realize why I had pangs of guilt after thinking of the pain I’ve endured at the hands of others were unwarranted. I responded out of order. Rather, I reacted.

A response is one made with thoughtful intention, but my reaction was bred in a tainted petri dish…one where I was led to believe forgiveness is an all or nothing process…

Hmph…to say anything is an ALL or NOTHING PROCESS is oxymoronic in itself…Every process requires LAYERS….

I’ve been forced to consider things differently now and I am glad I’ve obliged.

There is a delicate and perpetual PROCESS to forgiving.  It is not merely “letting it go” as the Greek word for forgive, “aphesis” has so often been misapplied. Now the term does mean “let go,” but there are other meanings so don’t get me wrong here. I am still a word nerd.

“Release” is the definition that resonated with me the most. And since yesterday I realize the meaning is more than “releasing the offender from accountability.”  Rather, for me this release is solely for me…for my peace of mind… I release him, I release her, I release them for me!

I release myself to fully go through the process of grieving the loss of my ability to trust, to set proper boundaries, to receive unconditional love, to be myself without shame or condemnation…

I release myself to be angry with the circumstances and the fact that sometimes it seems that those who do wrong get away with it…

I release the thought that denial of what happened will make everything better…

I release the depression I didn’t know I was in for far too many years because I chose to bury what was still very much alive…

I release the need to bargain with God or myself as to whether I feel comfortable having this person or that person in my life again.  I don’t.

I release myself to the freedom of accepting that forgiveness is not one size fits all…that the process is perpetual…that I am not condemned for having a moment. I have had many moments and I will likely have many more. Regardless, for me, just forgiving and forgetting is not an option anymore.

©2017 Nadia Davis. All Rights Reserved.

I can only imagine the gasps of my daughter when she sees this title.  She thinks I’m so old because I once said, “ooh, that’s a bad car!” Okay…I realize that no one really says that anymore, but whatever.  I’ve witnessed so much in the mere 37 years…almost 38 years that I’ve been on the planet to know that growing old is a blessing…that stress…even so-called good stress is soooooo overrrated.  I’ve decided to simply have no part in it anymore. It’s not that I’m naive to the problems that might arise in life, but I am more aware of how much control I have over those events. In most cases, I have no control.  In some others, I understand that even then I have to be completely led by the Holy Spirit to do the right thing.  Even then, I mess up.

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I’ve messed up a lot all my life….yep, I’m not going to sit here and say, “lately” because an inventory of reality shouts that I should have a doctorate in mess ups by now.  Regardless, the beauty of loving me as God does is that in all that….He still does….He knew it before I knew it so whether I keep my Christ-like position in mind in a moment of potential road rage, or I decide to flip the bird to that person who decides to cut me off, God still loves me.  That helps me in this moment and I imagine the many that are to come because I’m able to embrace my mistakes and understand that with every breath I have an opportunity to choose another option the next time.

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Have I got it all together right now…absolutely not…and here’s the deal…none of us will ever have it all together until Christ returns to take us home.  Warning, this does not give you permission to do any old thing and take God’s grace for granted.  What it is instead is permission to actually receive the grace Christ died to give you when you need it.  And in turn give that same grace to others when you can give it.  Humility is not becoming a door mat…it is becoming a stepping stone for someone else to come up because they witness your selflessness in willing bringing yourself lower.  I was about to say I don’t know where that came from, but that would be lying wouldn’t it. Of course I know the Lord led me to put that…to read that…to know that about myself and also for anywho else reads this message that’s taken me exactly 5 minutes to conjure.  No editing…just flowing in what God gives…that is all…be blessed and yeah…I’m kinda likeing and loving the new me!

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Peace!!  Oh yeah…people don’t say that anymore either do they?  Whatever…I do!!!

©2016 Nadia Davis. All Rights Reserved.