Posts Tagged ‘faith’

“The traffic light at Hacks Cross Rd is out. It’s showing a green light in all directions for about five minutes.”

When traffic lights go out, it’s common sense to treat them as a four-way stop…to even proceed with caution…but when I heard this news on the radio today, I got a different message.

So I’ve decided to move forward anyway…regardless of what had just transpired moments before hearing it…

You see last night I went to bed in tears and found the same dampness on my cheeks while driving my children to school.

Considering today is the anniversary of my mother’s passing, one might think my grief had stemmed from the memory of that loss.  Yet, my grief had another source.55884266727f852597c2cc126406b24c

I was concerned about my next  transition. So I breathed a sigh of relief when inclement weather delayed the process another day.

I don’t believe I was afraid of the coursework or the demand of my time, but I’m sure now that I was afraid of the impact the news of my decision to officially give up my “job search” in favor of attending seminary, working in ministry, and spending more time with my children would have on others in my family…particularly those who’d been helping me thus far.

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In fact, unless, my brother and cousin, who’s more like a sister,  decide to read this post, they would remain uninformed until a more courageous time.

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News of another aunt’s diagnosis with dementia has taken its toll on all of us.

Last week  my cousin and I discussed how she was a caretaker for her own mother who passed 5 years ago almost to the date….how she cared for her father until his last breath less than two years ago…how she was finally in a place where she was ready to live…for herself.

Having just turned 38 two weeks ago, she admitted to me how she was a little bummed about not accomplishing more by this time.  I suppose she felt as I had a while ago.

and so much had happened in a week

A time when she should have been reflecting on the good times she’d shared with her mom, instead on that very anniversary she was rushing an aunt to the hospital because she just seemed, “out of her head.”

Though I’m living in her home for a time, I hadn’t seen my cousin much since our aunt’s admission to the hospital and the diagnosis. She was with her and I understood why. My cousin was her father’s best friend before he passed and this was his sister. I joined her there myself after church yesterday.

I’m grateful that God used the pastor to remind us of the foundation of our frustrations.   I needed it.  Otherwise I would not have been able to stomach the way my cousin lashed out at me last night.  She was tired and perhaps the reason I really cried out to My Father was because I too am tired. I’m tired of seeing her struggle in different ways than I have experienced. I’m tired of seeing her not live because she feels obligated to live for others instead. Yet, in my summation, I can not judge what God is doing on her behalf through all she is experiencing.

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I am, however, more confident in my understanding of what He is doing in me and what He has planned to accomplish through me.

So while the impact of what transpired yesterday and this morning nearly overtook me, God confirmed with that timely traffic warning that I am still heading in the right direction.

It was the motivation I needed to keep moving forward despite how illogical things seem.


He will prove His power of deliverance through my obedience so until He tells me to stop,  I’m taking the green light.


Though Guardian couldn’t understand my words, I still felt obligated to voice them aloud as he sniffed and tugged closer and closer to this monster anyway:

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Now for some of you who like bugs…this pic may do nothing for you, but for an “arachnophobe” like myself, the fact that this sucker couldn’t do much as harm to some other spiders doesn’t matter!  Seeing a spider like this after the sun was up as if it had no plans of hiding away like some of the others do, freaked me out.

So trust had my dog continued as he started,tugging away from me, and gotten tangled in this thing’s web, he would have clearly been on his own!

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Thankfully, my dog is alive and well and he avoided the obviously human-sized web that bad boy had concocted…Or maybe it was a a bad girl…Aren’t they bigger anyway?download (7)

Anyway…I tugged him out of harms way just in time.  Now considering that dogs try to eat most moving objects smaller than themselves anyway, I doubt my dog Guardian would not have been phased by the spider crawling around on his coat.  I, on the other hand, got a completely different message…

Yes, again, God used my dogs to teach me something about my own level of disobedience.

Basically, like I told my dog, “I could tug away from the way He was leading me if I wanted to—that’s free will—but when I get from under His protection, I’m on my own….

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I admit my dogs have run away a few times before when I lived in AR…oddly enough they always came back . Usually because I’d go and physically get them, but later I stopped searching for them and waited until they returned on their own.

Like prodigals, they were usually filthy, hungry, and tired too.  Of course because I love them…I was happy to see them, clean them,  and feed them anyway.

I noticed a pattern though so to curb it I did all I had done before but added the rod of correction to the “seats of their understanding!”  They got the hint.  And I’m sure they didn’t like the way it (1)

In fact, now all I have to do is say, “Don’t even think about it” and Guardian tends to stop what he’s doing and gets back on track.

In a way, lately my weakened faith has had God telling me, “Don’t even think about it” too.

He’s reminded me of not thinking about the negative and what I see, but to think about the blessings and ways He’s made before to strengthen my faith again.

Like my over-sized pups, I really don’t like the way discipline feels either.  Yet, I’ll take God’s discipline over His distance any day!  

Run Hebrews inspiration


©2015 Nadia Davis. All Rights Reserved.


Boy have I had the time of my life on this little roller coaster, LITERALLY! No I haven’t gone to the fair yet…that’s scheduled for this weekend, but I mean this Emotional One I’ve been riding for way too long.

Methinks tis time to exit this ride!


images (38)  Had a Shakespeare moment!

Have you ever felt like you’ve met “The One” and it would seem that all the stars were aligned and your heart skips a beat when you think of them and then


LIFE HAPPENS! I mean despite you “knowing” that he or she is “that elusive one,” for whatever reason when you finally grasp the courage to step up to the plate, things just don’t quite add up and you’re left wondering 

Wha Happened??????????????????????????????????????


Well, for the ladies…sorry guys…if you’re like me…Singleness has the tendency to encourage an addiction to romantic comedies.  Even as I type this I’m realizing how that sounds, but I admit, I’m no hopeless romantic!

 I’m a HOPEFUL one!!!!images (47)

Regardless, I’ve realized today…okay I really realized this weekend that perhaps, therein lies the problem! I guess I can only talk for myself, but I work with mostly women so I’ve heard similar stories, perused other blogs, and it seems the name of the game remains the same:


While I’ve been relatively disappointed at times with the way things have gone up and down relationally, this weekend I’ve come to one major conclusion: I’m Impatient!

Now I’d made up my mind a long time ago that when I chose to be chosen again I’d follow where God led me. That makes sense, right?

Sure it does.  Well, I prayed about it for a LOOOOOOONNNNNNGGGGGGG TIME and my prayers were answered about a year ago. Only, somewhere between me reuniting with my Joseph and my present, I forgot all about the reasons I prayed for him in the first place.

I got looped into this “romantic comedy fantasy of “shoulds.”  That is, I was so completely clueless about “dating again” that I allowed my mind to drift back to what I’d seen and heard “boyfriends” should do and say.  Therefore my expectations were skewed from the start.  Let’s face it, I’d learned enough from my past that friendship, trust, and mutual respect were non-negotiable, but when it came to taking things to the next level, I was all thumbs….and even now I’m still a bit fuzzy.

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It really makes no sense to me because when we were just friends, I could go anywhere with him, talk to him, joke with him, and laugh with him without later feeling self-conscious about whether I “said that” or “did that” right?  It didn’t matter because I didn’t care.  It’s not that I valued his opinion of me any less. Rather I just was so at ease when I was with him that I knew he’d accept me regardless of my flaws.  In fact, when either of us so-called “did or said something wrong” it made our time together that more hilarious!

We had a running joke for years on the days I wore my ever-faithful ponytail…apparently I was the only one at work that didn’t have a sewn-in…of course I’m not hating…you be you and I’ll be me…never had a need for weave thanks to my Cherokee roots!

I digress…anyway…truefriends

In my mind and heart for the past few months, I’ve battled within myself to get back to that place with him only to realize that I’m the one who left it in the first place. In retrospect, he hadn’t changed. His quirky sense of humor was the main reason I enjoyed his company.  It was his somewhat annoyingly comical personality that won my heart before I even knew I’d want to give him permission to handle it.

Now I’m stuck with the reality that the way I’ve been the last few weeks with my all in one minute/scared away the next minute antics has him just as clueless about how I truly feel about him as I’d been at the beginning of this endeavor because I allowed a superficial list of ideals set me up for failure….talk about listening to wrong advice.  I should have listened to my heart right after I listened to God whisper, “He’s my son too”


Go figure…I’d asked for a Godly man…a good father for my children, and a friend wrapped into one, but it never occurred to me until now that God was on his side too…that just maybe, I had the potential to hurt him, but that God loved him as much as he loved me so He’d chosen to protect his heart as well.  Yes, I realize that given some of the hurts and hurdles I’ve had to overcome, the challenge to “get there” has been daunting…

…So I tried to rush things. I made assumptions.  I fell prey to the “shoulds” of a society that…let’s face it…otherwise, I am completely at odds with…so lately I’ve had to ask myself,

“Why can’t I be myself around him anymore?”

“Why do I find it necessary to always wear make up when I see him?”(as if he hadn’t seen me on my worst day before)

“Why do I feel the need to consider what others will say over what I feel?”


Because I started out listening to God advice and ended up following my own…I’d failed to realize that God had already reassured me what and who was for me is for me…that He had already authored the end of my story and that every plot twist had been meticulously constructed with both His children’s best interest in mind. Somewhere in the mix, I got selfish…I went ahead of God, went forward and was stuck with bitter water…so now I’ve gone back to My Father and asked for His advice…His word stung as it healed.

2 Kings 2:18 New Living Translation (NLT)

18b “Didn’t I tell you not to go?” he asked.

I admit now that before last weekend…everything in me said don’t go there…delays occurred on both ends, but I was stubborn and did what I wanted to do.

I am grateful for God’s mercy though because like the followers in the text, I looked at the potential and decided to move forward although He’d told me to wait. Yes, this morning, I recalled that the Lord sent me to Ruth 3:18 a couple months ago. Since that time, I dissected that scripture many times, but I never did the obvious. I never waited.  So this morning, I repented and surmised again that God alone knows my end from my beginning.  He alone knows the desires of my heart even when I refuse to admit them.

So while I still enjoy my romantic comedy marathons and I can’t readily erase all the stuff I’ve read about couple “shoulds” and “shouldn’ts,” I’ve learned to rely on a far greater source for my relational advice from now on.  I’ve learned I have the hopeful expectation that He will do me good in my future.  Otherwise I could end up in the right place at the wrong time.

When I consider the consequences of all the wrong advice I’ve followed so far, that’s not a risk I’m willing to take again.

©2014 Nadia Davis. All Rights Reserved.


Today one our constituents called in a panic.  She and her husband were hosting one of our Art of Marriage Events in about 2 weeks and had not done anything to prepare.

  • Yes, they were the marriage ministry leaders for their church!
  • Yes they specifically knew of several couples who would benefit from it’s content
  • Yes, they bought the kit in April!

Of course, we’ve seen it all so I’ll admit, I almost got a little judgmental.  Yep, I know that’s kind of wrong, but in my mind…I thought…

“You bought the kit in April and now you’re calling for help?”

Well, I guess she sensed how ill-prepared she’d sounded so she began to further explain her dilemma…

She went on to say that she and her husband tried to schedule their event back in April for October, but at the time was told that the calendar was closed.  So she and her husband held onto the kit and did nothing further.

I guess you’re wondering why they didn’t just ask to be scheduled for the next open date? It’s easy to say that from the outside, but I can attest to the fact that when you’re already a little nervous about being put in the spotlight, sometimes you gladly accept any set back as a “get out of jail” free card and get on down instead of relying on God’s direction and pressing on.

So yes, they had the kit, the flyers, and posters (everything they needed), they sat idly by watching marriages fall apart holding on to that excuse that the calendar was full.  Well, sometimes folks, God’s got another plan!

Well, usually God has another plan and because He grants us free will, He allows us to only go so far before we’re obligated to do things His way. Well super long story short…the couple found out about the event “they” were hosting the same way the rest of the congregation did…Sunday morning announcements.

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Now if her church is as technologically savvy as most are these days, the announcement was displayed on some huge screen for all to see…And yep..that’s what happened.

Now I understood her panic and I was immediately able to reassure her that we can help her…I submitted an urgent request for one of our ministry advisers to contact her immediately and when I asked her when she would be available, her reply comforted and convicted me in succession.

“I’ve cleared my schedule for the next two weeks because we’ve got to get this together.  I’m available anytime. Just call.”

The words she stated reminded me of the words I’d uttered not long ago to my Father.  I’d embarked on a mission to complete my memoir several years ago…got with a publisher…paid…and yet sent nothing…I could say that it was writer’s block, but that’s a lie…it was fear…fear of the questions…fear of the answers…fear of rejection…fear of acceptance…fear of memories…fear of the need to forget…I understand now how I’ve allowed that fear cripple me.

A few months ago, a co-worker handed me a book that changed my life…I know that sounds so cliche…but it did nonetheless…I started writing again…I started remembering again…I cried tears that had been buried in a facade for over 3 decades, but even half way through that journey I stopped…overcome by the “what ifs.”  But today, God not only allowed me to remember my vow this evening as I attempted to reassure that customer.  But early this morning, he reminded me with a message from Joyce Meyer…the words…”It’s time” has been ringing in my head all day…I’ve had friends lined up for months to offer assistance to review my pain on paper, but shame preferred it be kept hidden…

But something else spectacular happened on that call…something God always has a knack of allowing in my life…He allowed me to minister to myself.


You see the past two days, I’ve been fighting a sinus infection and I’ve gotten pretty good at hitting my mute button just before that sneeze…I’d begun telling the young lady this: (mind you this isn’t verbatim-going by memory here)

After she mentioned that she and her husband prayed about it and she couldn’t back out because she felt like God’s hand was on it…I agreed with her and recalled the time when I’d been co-chair over Women’s Day at my church one year…how I’d made all these new plans and when I went to the planner and even to the pastor to offer my input, I was completely rejected.

All I could think of was, “Why in the world was I selected if they weren’t interested in anything I had to offer?” I was sick because my naivety had me so geeked that I’d called vendors and made all these plans to make the Women’s Fun Day a Spa Day…

Well of course I prayed…God reminded me of Nehemiah and the wall…how he was constantly met with opposition but how he was able to complete it anyway…not by his own effort, but by his faith in God’s power to help him finish the task…In the end, the pastor’s heart softened, but two days prior…every vendor cancelled at the last minute.

I arrived at the site on the day of distraught, but slowly as I tried to get things together by myself…one by one God provided people who had everything I needed.

By the end of that night, the ladies were given makeovers (Maybeline donated boo-koos), manicures were done by volunteers, massages were given, pictures were taken…all because I relied on God and refused to take the glory for myself…I smiled as I reminisced in that moment…

And I simply told her that it wouldn’t be a miracle if “you could get it together in 4 months.” 

So with that, I’m no longer stressing about how I can get this and that together and what if this person says this or that…I’m going with what I’d decided before…to allow God arrange my calendar!

©2014 Nadia Davis. All Rights Reserved

Two years ago, I lost my job.  I thought I had faith then, but what I really had was a nice little 401K cushion so I wasn’t worried about losing my home or whether I’d be able to keep the lights on…I was okay when that very month, the child support that I’d been receiving faithfully for over 8 years stopped…I assumed it was God trying to tell me something.  He was.

I had the opportunity to track down and pursue the matter, but when the letter arrived to report address and phone number information about the missing link in my son’s life, I had an overwhelming urge to discard it. God then placed it on my heart to not worry about the “child support.” I was obedient then and in the trash went the letter.

Since that time, my world has changed tremendously with regard to my finances…I refused to worry about the “child support” because I’d gotten pretty good at this “single-parent” thing over the years…including those when I was married…things were okay, but struggles of which bill I’d skip to pay for this and that has taken its toll in the past few months…before I’d learned to be resourceful…at times even making bread from scratch to save a buck…at the time, I figured that was what I had to do so I did. I learned to get more comfortable with eating less or some days not at all to ensure my children didn’t have to do the same. The benefit then was weight-loss though ill-gotten…I could fit in clothes I hadn’t been able to before so I was again okay.

Later that year, I decided to enroll in school…yet again…With a Master’s degree…you’d think I’d be tired of school, but I guess I liked the idea of being a permanent student or something….Though I had time on my hands to pay full attention to what God had planned for me without distractions (my writing), I decided to do other things. I had the time to attend my children’s events when school started and I enjoyed the freedom to come and go as I pleased without the hammer of Corporate America badgering me into submission to “their” rules. I still had some money available so I really didn’t spend my days like I’ve been trying to juggle them now.

Yet, somewhere between the day I lost my job and the day God blessed me with this one, I discovered that my faith hadn’t actually been in God as much as thought ….I’m sick with conviction now to admit that…but given all I’ve faced since that time, I realized that God had been weening me from myself!

In retrospect, I suppose he’d been doing that well before I lost my job because when I got sick, I wasn’t able to work as much so my funds were chopped anyway….

I digress…Well, this morning after I finished writing checks to various utilities, I almost forgot to listen to what He’d told me a couple years before…

…I’d seen the text from my son’s dad two days ago, told my son about it…yet Recco never asked for my phone to return the favor…I looked at it this morning a bit “pissed” for lack of a better word.

School started this week and all week my son was pretty bummed. My daughter’s school thankfully were required to wear uniforms. So when I could, I snagged one and had a couple shirts that would suffice until today, I’d supposed….but as I calculated and deducted, the others in layaway would have to wait yet another 2 weeks….but this week I’d gotten used to the wash, wear, and repeat routine so to do it another few weeks would again be okay for me I suppose….It didn’t really dawn on me if it would be okay with her though….well, not until I finished balancing the remnants of my funds…I didn’t want her to see me “have to do that.”

Kayla hit a growth spurt far sooner than my son so I suppose that’s why I hadn’t paid much attention to the changes he’d undergone in what seemed like overnight.

I’d been praying for him to grow for years along with him I’m sure.  He been so self conscious about his height…so tiny even at birth, the nickname, Lil’ Recco, sort of stuck in more ways than one I guess.

It was okay for a while in our favor since he’d been able to wear many of his clothes for a few years without them fraying…only last night…when he came to me excited about the prospect of going shopping this weekend, I could only grimace at the reality that was in front of us. My frown then matched his silence this morning. As I went through his closet of what seemed like so many items, I realized now the reason he’d been “choosing” to wear the same things over and over.  He hadn’t made the choice at all.  Those supposedly “favorite” pieces were the only things that fit him now.

I bagged them this morning and the trunk was full…All the while, I’d assumed that he’d just been set in his ways and didn’t want to wear certain things because just a year before the same shirts, jeans, sweaters, and even dress shirts had been too big.  I tried to justify my decision to wait to shop a little longer with this assumption, but the imploding trunk of clothes I’d noticed he’d modified in various ways over the passed few months wasn’t done so out of preference, but one of necessity.

I now understood his tears when Tuesday night youth choir rehearsal turned into a praise and worship session…why as I corralled my tears with my hands I felt his arm around me beckoning me to stand up and walk the pews with him as he proclaimed, “Lord, you know what we need!”

At least then, I was sure that my son hadn’t fully abandoned his relationship with our Father as his behavior sometimes made me assume.

His words, “Lord, help me to put a smile on my mother’s face!” stung.

First, because I didn’t want him to feel like he alone had to shoulder that burden. Second, no child should feel like they are responsible for another person’s happiness like that…I couldn’t help but wonder how he felt when he knew he’d disappointed me.

Did he think I loved him any less?

As I finished the bills, I was bombarded with a similar accusation, Does he think I love him less because I haven’t bought him new clothes…because I’m asking him to wait…to understand…to be patient again?

Even in writing this I know the answer…worse yet…I know who really was asking the question…it wasn’t my son…it wasn’t me…it wasn’t even the Lord…you see because God doesn’t accuse…there is but one accuser and his name is satan…He would love for me to break down and forfeit the blessings God has already shown me that are in store for us.

Right now, God is working behind the scenes to provide more than enough….I know because He alone gave me this reminder right before I almost responded to my son’s dad’s text.  I almost typed the words, “Hey this is Nadia, Recco needs some school clothes, can you wire a couple hundred?”

Thankfully, I stopped before I typed my name and asked God to show me His will…I vaguely remembered the ” You have not because you ask not scripture, but in my heart…I knew that wasn’t it…So I opened my bible and the scripture unintentionally highlighted was Isaiah 8:11-14a…

Isaiah 8:11-14 New Living Translation 

A Call to Trust the Lord

11 The Lord has given me a strong warning not to think like everyone else does. He said,

12 “Don’t call everything a conspiracy, like they do,
    and don’t live in dread of what frightens them.
13 Make the Lord of Heaven’s Armies holy in your life.
    He is the one you should fear.
He is the one who should make you tremble.
14     He will keep you safe.
But to Israel and Judah
    he will be a stone that makes people stumble,
    a rock that makes them fall.
And for the people of Jerusalem
    he will be a trap and a snare.

Since this was my study bible…there were some little symbols alerting me to additional info…to the next section I needed…The footnote stated that “The Lord warned the people to not rely on Assyria(see 7:1) So that’s what I did…I flipped the page over and realized what I actually had highlighted instead of the first verse.

I said, “unintentionally” earlier because I’d never read that passage before…yet, I’d highlighted the passage on the opposite page a while ago…it bled through and showed what I needed in that moment of doubt…I turned the page to reveal the rest of God’s letter to me…three separate passages in this order…Isaiah 7:4, 9b, 12…

Tell him to stop worrying. Tell him he doesn’t need to fear the fierce anger of those two burned-out embers, King Rezin of Syria and Pekah son of Remaliah.

Isaiah 7:9-12 New Living Translation

Israel is no stronger than its capital, Samaria,
    and Samaria is no stronger than its king, Pekah son of Remaliah.
Unless your faith is firm,
    I cannot make you stand firm.”

The Sign of Immanuel

10 Later, the Lord sent this message to King Ahaz: 11 “Ask the Lord your God for a sign of confirmation, Ahaz. Make it as difficult as you want—as high as heaven or as deep as the place of the dead.[a]

12 But the king refused. “No,” he said, “I will not test the Lord like that.”

I realize now that in this scripture, God was requesting that Ahaz ask Him for a sign and he refused…but God had been willing to strengthen his faith through a sign so I’m not doing like old Ahaz….

Dear Lord,

I know that You are able to provide as You have over and over again so at Your request, I request You provide that sign for my son to see Your glory.  In Jesus’ name I pray Amen!

Your Daughter

So with that…I’m thanked God for His intervention…erased the message I started…recalled the many times the Lord had provided exactly what I needed when I needed it before and renewed my faith in the God of everything for allowing me to abundantly lack nothing!

©2014 Nadia Davis. All Rights Reserved.

It’s In There!

Posted: August 1, 2014 in Words of Wisdom
Tags: , , , , ,


Out of the heart, the mouth speaks

Those words and the constant chirp of my alarm met me too early this morning.  I hit snooze anyway.

“It’s in there” bombarded my mind.  I lugged myself out of bed and gave the Lord a brief shout out before making it… those same words crept in again.

Maybe God was trying to tell me something.

As I made my bed, my bible plopped open to a highlighted passage, 2 Corinthians 13:5.

Examine yourselves to see if your faith is genuine. Test yourselves. Surely you know that Jesus Christ is among you; if not, you have failed the test of genuine faith.

I considered it random.

I sort of understood that scripture, but I was more concerned with the “Out of the mouth speaks” thing…

You see I couldn’t understand why the Lord would send me there when I knew I’d been praying to get a grip on my tongue.  I mean what’s faith got to do with keeping my mouth in check anyway, right?

Well, when I got to work, I did some digging and found what I thought I needed in Luke 6:45.

A good person produces good things from the treasury of a good heart, and an evil person produces evil things from the treasury of an evil heart. What you say flows from what is in your heart.

That’s when it clicked!  “It’s in There!”

No not about the pasta sauce

I needed to examine myself.

I admit I’m not proud of my findings, but this truth has indeed set me free.  I discovered that a lot of my hang ups, slip ups, and so-called mistakes of the tongue were actually intentional.



Yep….that’s right on purpose!


Yeah, I’d “slip” and quickly spout, “Oh Lord forgive me” or “I didn’t mean to say that.”

Yet, I’d been feeding myself a line of BULL…


I’m so thankful for God’s grace! All the while, I’d been praying for God to fix my tongue…I even blamed my “mistakes” on that Freudian slip stuff, but God showed me my problem had absolutely nothing to do with my tongue…albeit an accomplice, it wasn’t the main culprit.

He reminded me how just a few years ago, refraining from cursing or losing my temper wasn’t an issue, it was a norm…so what changed?

Then I trusted the Lord with my whole heart. Yet, recently some of my decisions have led me to think I could take better care of my heart than God I suppose. I would not have admitted that before today. Now, with it broken, I understand that the best condition for my heart is in My Father’s hands because He alone knows what’s in there!



©2014 Nadia Davis. All Rights Reserved.