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Better Not Bitter

Responding God's Way to Life's Challenges

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Direction

Change the Course!!!

I came across this I wrote four years ago, but it is more prevalent in my life today than ever…read and share…

Change the Course! Something struck me as incredibly odd the other day. I’d come to a railroad crossing and there had been about five cars in front of me waiting in line for a supposed train. The lights were flashing and the rail arm had been down, but, there was no train. After a few minutes, the impatience of four of the five cars took the chance of crossing the tracks despite the warning. Shortly after those few cars bypassed, the other side began doing the same thing narrowly missing each other. The first car that had been waiting, now sat directly in front of me and though he was in full view of either side of the tracks he didn’t budge. Well, after hearing about all the derailments and train/car matchups that didn’t really match up, I’d already made up my mind that I wasn’t budging either. I was okay with waiting. Well, apparently the cars behind me didn’t feel the same way and then began swinging out and doing just as the other cars had before, taking their chances with the tracks. Shortly thereafter, the car who’d been sitting there cautiosly eyeing the track in both directions slowly inched out and across the tracks to the other side as well. Now ten mins had gone by and yes, normally I probably would have been a bit impatient myself, but I decided another alternative. I backed up and turned around. Now, perhaps had my children not been in the car, I would have done that a lot sooner or I may have even dared to to the same thing that I’d seen instead of daring to be different. Yet, the funny thing is that when I stepped out and changed the course in my direction, everyone who was behind me, did the same thing.

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The point to this little anecdote is not to get you paranoid about the railroad crossings (though–true story–a girl I met last night had actually been hit by a train in a car and survived–note of caution), but to push you to have the courage to do something different to benefit you and those you love instead of sticking to what seems like the quickest and most popular route. It would have been an awful mess had the train plowed over those vehicles. Yet, I had sense enough to “examine the situation for what it is (dangerous and foolish), back up(hindsight does not have to be 20/20 when the obvious is right in front of you), and take a new course of action( I still made it to my destination—and sooner than some of the other cars because they’d been backed up in traffic from following the others). Remember,changing your course is not just about you, but about everyone who’s behind you.

©2012-2016.  Nadia Davis.  All rights Reserved.

Just Rest

Stop. Pause. Focus. Slow Down. Listen.  For at least three weeks now, it seems that those words are the directions that I have been given.  Yet, I haven’t truly understood or embraced any of them fully until this moment.

suppose I should have gotten a clue when my student advisor said in our meeting, “I bet you’re the type of person who has it done the moment you receive the instruction.”  It was not a compliment or an insult.  One might think it was actually the former, but it was just further proof that at times I can be overly diligent.  That is…in my mind.  I suppose that is in itself the issue with having a massive vision.  It fuels a faith that at times can be downright foolish. I used to say and I may have even written here before that if it is not foolish it is not faith. Rather, if that was the case, I submit that I erred.  Perhaps it may appear foolish, but not actually be foolish to be faith.  I have made several mistakes by doing what I “felt” the Lord was leading me to do while not realizing my true motive underneath.  Pride led me to that point. Pride would hope to keep me there, but love has released me from that place of foolishness. Love of a Father, a Son, of a Holy One who together have done so much for me and in me that I have no choice but to receive what is being communicated.

I have attempted to build my own design…my own building…my own structure.  However, all along the structure I had been building was on an imbalanced foundation.  I know a thing or two about building on uncertainty.  It seems for years that is what I allowed myself to do. It had done nothing more than produce worry.  I allowed myself to think too much about things that really don’t matter.  I had built so much on sinking sand, but my image prevented me from opening my mouth and asking for help until it was nearly too late.  I chose to avoid family, friends, and at one point, I even stayed home from church.  I leaned to my own understanding.

Structure. Order. Trust.

I used to wonder when I was a child why my mother was always so consumed with worry…yet, we were at church every Sunday. As a child, I could not understand it and now I still don’t understand it.  It is senseless.  Yet, I allowed worry to nearly consume my being too for a moment.  One moment that lasted too long…where have the years gone?

So far, I have learned in my absence from family, my cousin hasn’t drank anything more than water as her choice beverage for at least 10 of the near 13 years since my original departure to AR…that it had been 10 years since I had been in Louisiana, though I’d had an open invitation to witness the beauty that blossomed out of the ashes of a shared past my brother and I experienced.

I realize that I was my worst enemy. I was facing turmoil with my own children because “God forbid” if I showed a flaw in my parenting skills…I was the super single mom who survived physical, mental, and emotional abuse.  My children were expected to fail by default, but flourished by grace…flourished a long while when I prayed regularly…when I sought My Father’s advice in every decision. Something happened and that stopped.  Yet, in His love for me, My Heavenly Father whispers to me even now as I randomly bleed on this page, “Just Rest.”

I’d been the one who always had it together so how was I to know what was required of me when all I had was broken….so I’m learning now how to truly surrender is learning to receive…learning to receive the presence of My Father as just that.  My daddy…my support…my heart…

Random as this might be I am determined to not just get back to my first love in Christ, but to get back to my first agenda.  It was simple.  If one person is changed…if one person is transformed…If one person doesn’t do what I have…If one person realizes how much they matter to God because of my story…I will do it.

So as my Savior did on that fateful day over 2000 years ago, I enter my flesh into a grave that has no power to hold me there…I will rise again.

©2016 Nadia Davis. All Rights Reserved.

Question…Answer…More Questions? Really?

“See there… the way you ask another question after I’ve already given you my answer.” 

That was the best response I could come up with in conversation with my son the other day.

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I refused to debate further because my decision was made.  So yes, I gave him the silent treatment.

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As immature as some say the “silent treatment” is, I have a slightly different take on it now.

Granted, ignoring someone out of spite is not healthy, however, neither is arguing a point in which a decision has already been rendered.

For years, “because I said so” was a sufficient response to my children, but until a few days ago, I’d allowed them to” wear me down with words.”

Before, I’d gotten tired of it and tried to slightly different approach to the battles, “Because God said so!”  Boy did that open a can of worms!  It turns out that if you’re going to use that, it would help if you are actually adhering to those same principles yourself first.

I mean, imagine bringing up the importance of honoring your parents to get this response:

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How dare my son “get me” with scripture when clearly I was trying to “get him” first?

Can I be real people?  thCKC558Z0

This was me that day…

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I was wrong that day…and I hated it….I mean who wants to be proven wrong by a kid? Especially your kid?

But oh how I love that God is my Strength.   I’ve had much more resilience with my son’s war of words lately.

Regardless, we’re both stubborn.

I mean the apple fell from somewhere, right?

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With that in mind, I think my son would be a great attorney.  Yet, even attorneys have to comply with the judge’s ruling!

So in our most recent debate, I chose to ignore my son’s whining…oops…I mean request.

And get this…not an ounce of guilt…

Why? 

Because God had to humble me with His silence.

Yep, I’ve asked more questions when God answered me the first time too…a lot more…especially this year…

Typical conversation…

“Are you sure God, you want me to do that?”

“Didn’t I tell you, if you have faith you will see the glory of the Lord?”

“I need a sign.”

“How much longer will I have to be with you before you believe?”

“Okay I need one more…don’t be mad, but just one more confirmation!”

And then there was nothing…no word…except one’s leading back to completing the vows I stated…I mean everywhere all over the bible…who knew the bible was so full of places to remind you of the things you say you are going to do for the Lord, but then get fearful and try to take it back….I digress…

I know now God just wants me to trust Him with my future. 

A bit of a challenge for a control freak, wouldn’t you think?  Challenging yes, but definitely doable. I’m already reaping the benefits.  It’s made me eager to sit still and wait for the next thing He has to say.

…a discipline, I hope and pray will also be evident in my own children in time.  Yet, until then, I’m learning to endure the questions, seek God for the answers, and chose to be silent when necessary.

©2015 Nadia Davis. All Rights Reserved.

 

 

 

 

 

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