Saturate Their Atmosphere with Your Absence

Last night I had the privilege of spending time with a wonderful group of ladies who I have grown to love and trust. While not divulging the details of our gathering, one thing I just must share.

When dealing with difficult people sometimes the best thing you can do is “Saturate their atmosphere with YOUR absence!”

God has been helping me dissect the reasons I still get angry at the mention of certain people’s names or why I get nauseated at the mere presence of others. It is not out right unforgivenness. I just hadn’t allowed myself to go through the process of “forgiving.”

I’ve wondered for years whether something was wrong with me…whether I would ever really get this forgiveness thing down when at times it seems I’m good and others I’m not. I’ve written about it so much…those few posts alone would be great ammunition for a weapon of mass deliverance I’m sure. Yet, I believe I secretly condemned myself for paying too much attention to forgiving and forgetting instead of appreciating my PROGRESS…On the way to meet with these lovely souls, I recounted the many times I’d heard biblical teachings on forgiveness like,

“Unforgiveness is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die.”

I wouldn’t be surprised if I’ve included that quote in prior posts, but what do you do when the offender is the one forcing the toxic syringe into your arm? What is the remedy for desiring to please God by offering an offender grace only to not quite be there yet?

So I considered more closely my feelings about those who had done me wrong….and last night God whispered to me,

“but how does that make you feel?”

“I don’t want to ever be reconciled with the offender!

You see many in the church have hammered into the skull of every would-be Christian that YOU MUST FORGIVE OR GOD WON’T FORGIVE YOU!!!

While the word of God is true, blatantly saying this alone implies forgiveness is a one-size fits all prerequisite to receive God’s grace.  That kind of flies in the face of the Gospel considering grace through Christ was given long before we were violated by offenders in the first place!

So in the back of my mind for a while I have wondered about this in solitude…

Yet when I began studying this area with these ladies I was met with a breath of fresh air…Yes, I’ve got issues…but there’s a way to address them I hadn’t felt I had permission to use until last night.

And before I could condemn myself as I’d done so many times before that moment, He reminded me, “Woman where are your accusers?” They were nowhere to be found…because I chose to walk away…I chose to protect my heart and mind with my departure….and finally… I am perfectly at peace with my decision to  saturate their atmosphere with my absence.

©2017 Nadia Davis. All Rights Reserved.

When my hair isn’t done, I wear more make up

I heard for years that less is more. Yet, there are times when I can’t help but overdo stuff for no particular reason. I suppose I can’t really say there’s no reason. I mean considering the title of this post for instance…It was just an observation  I made while looking in the mirror one day last week. I suppose that passing thought could have happened today had something not changed.

So today I don my faithful ponytail and no mascara. Yes, I lined my eyes with this really cool iridescent blue just because I like it.  I can say it’s been a while since I’d done something  just because I wanted to…yes I know I shouldn’t end a sentence with a preposition fellow grammarians …that’s why I love ellipses so much…so there…

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When I made the comment it was just a passing thought… I thought I needed to add to one area of myself  to distract another I felt self conscious about…


I guess that’s why so many girls plaster half naked pics on Instagram and Facebook…hoping that someone will notice…anyone  will notice…never realizing that by taking it all off they’re only trying to covering it all up…the hurt, the abuse, the low self-esteem, the feelings of worthlessness, the depression…all of which I’ve danced with…Until the other night I thought I could dismantle  my own strongholds …

Yet, I loathed that me…the me that thought such random foolishness as “When my hair isn’t done, I should wear more make-up.” I did because I knew it never was me, but in my own strength I was powerless against what I wanted to hear people say.

A shell…


I wanted the compliments for my outward appearance so I could deny the things in me that needed to change.

Yet somewhere between midnight and morning of yesterday, I changed my mind…my heart…my attitude… I admitted the fears I’d had and I woke up free.  I can’t really explain the confidence I have right now…I just know I’m different.  I know I’ll never be in that place again.  I just know  who I am.



©2016 Nadia Davis. All Rights Reserved.