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Better Not Bitter

Responding God's Way to Life's Challenges

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confidence in god

It’s Already Done!!!

I’m not exactly sure how long it’s been since I’ve written about a lesson God showed me through my daughter, but I feel like this one deserves some attention.

“It’s already ready so why do you want to add more time to it?”

As usual a simple question was met with a powerful revelation!

She set the timer on the microwave to heat up some leftover cheese dip for breakfast-images (1)

Yes, I realize I didn’t have to share exactly what she was heating up, but for the sake of  those moms like me who occasionally feed their kids just about anything in the morning to get out the door, I left that in there for guiltless pleasure…

Anyway, she timed it for a minute and a half. However, as she got on her shoes she asked me to add another 30 seconds after the timer stopped.

My response was not just what I needed to say, but also what I needed to hear.images (12)

I stood in front of the microwave this morning pondering whether I should comply with my daughter’s request or just give her what she anticipated without considering her concerns. I opened the door, looked at the contents and said to her instead,

“I believe it’s already done.”

Still, she insisted the contents needed extra time so I finally did as she requested.

This little scenario can be applied in so many ways! Yet, I’ll cover it all in one word:

fulfill-your-destiny-tree2

I could see what my daughter needed was ready for her to receive it when I opened the door, but she still insisted delaying the process because not only could she not see what I saw, but she also assumed that what she desired was not ready and she did not bother to check the progress. I can only imagine her reason for abandoning the option of receiving it later rather than right then was the same reason I had been delaying things in my life relationally. She too had been disappointed with prematurely trying to receive what wasn’t made ready for her.

Isaiah 43:19

19 See, I am doing a new thing!
    Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the wilderness
    and streams in the wasteland.

Perhaps at one point I really did need more time to process things, to ingest things, to receive things, or even to desire things, but since I’ve set my heart and mind to be in alignment with My Heavenly Father, I realize that more time to fulfill my destiny is no longer necessary.

Simply put…

It’s Already Done!!!

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©2017 Nadia Davis. All Rights Reserved.

Privilege of the Pause

Just more random thoughts…of course unedited 😁

I’m convinced the one problem, if it could be called that, with being a visionary is finding the off switch in my mind or perhaps it is as simple as locating an appropriate landing spot for dreams to be born. As if the recording device in my brain is stuck in fast forward, I’m learning the importance of completely unplugging to catch up with myself occasionally. I’ve realized my stillness is yet my only way to hear His voice…
I make no apologies for my quick wit, my charismatic personality, or intelligence, however, life…at least this year has taught me the privilege of the pause…the necessity of delay has forced me to make use of my share of patience…and so I rest I Him alone. The white noise of “everydayness” fades to black as my surprise rises and bids me “Good mourning.” Yes in more ways than one the things and people I once thought I could not live without, I’m now able to consider the demise of what was thoroughly so…Good and Deceased…no regrets to gather…no further pain to nurse…a freedom I can only liken to that of the mockingbird’s song. I used to hate the beast how regardless of daylight or dusk, this one decided to perch just beyond my window and would ever chirp. Only recently have I understood the real reason for his song day and night really has nothing to do with his longing for a mate…Only now can I freely sing my praises ever after too…and being single isn’t my reason either…being whole is…being loved…

So my vision needed a place to lay…one where it would remain impervious to the pain of rejection…a dwelling where my will, my make-shift covering would be rendered more useless than years of experience had proven its worth had already been…again I get my cue from the birds…how even sparrows know of His all sufficiency…how they sing as I learned to do again in this process…I’m reminded that no good thing will He withhold from me…finally this daughter stands…chains broken by keys I’d held all along…again my song at midnight retrieved to lead nameless prisoners to their own freedom…I walk and doors open…because I’m beloved and now I’m glad to return the favor.

What to Do When God Says No

I can no longer blame my need for order on OCD.  I’m learning to be more cautious with my words.  The truth is I just like being in control.  So when I get stressed I clean.  I reorganize.  I change my world.  I change what I can control.

Control is a funny thing though. Especially when you understand that your input can do nothing to change your situation.  That’s where I’ve been for a while.    It can be a crushing reality to those like me who are recovering control freaks. Sometimes we think that everything should run smoothly especially if we plan well in advance. Yet, time and time again over the last year I have seen my plans dashed and now I’m in a place where it really doesn’t matter one way or another anymore.

It’s not that I am giving up on my desires or dreams.  It’s quite the contrary actually. To put it plainly, my life has been on constant fast forward.

I wonder if this is how the Apostle Paul felt when he desired to go one direction and the Holy Spirit provided detours.

In frustration recently, I cried out and doubted momentarily that yielding my gifts to another were in His plan. I almost convinced myself that no one beyond my four walls cared to know what I bellowed in my mind after midnight.  Yet, His plan included the reminder that He would never leave me nor forsake me.

Yes, I agree with His plan that I am destined for greatness, however, I now see how small of an impact I would make on my own…

Never before had I found the ere in my ways so quickly.  I asked once that I be convicted immediately when I’m wrong.  I suppose I never expected to have to comply with that request….Alas…not my will, but His is the reason for my transformation. I’ve been dropped into a new world.  One where the only choices are adapt or die. I should have titled this post what not to do when God says no because of one thing I’m sure regardless of His response to my request…

Dying is not an option.

 

 

It’s okay to not be okay, sometimes

I really never grasped the concept of this title before a month ago. It seemed my mind and heart had been bound to the expectations of others though they never really existed.

Yep, I suppose I’d conjured them up myself, gave them life, and allowed those negative little thoughts wreak havoc on an otherwise calm mind. I was bound by the thought that I was required to always have it together. I’d condemned myself for wanting to cry.

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I’d judged myself for a need to be vulnerable. Yet, I trusted no one to really appreciate that vulnerability… that piece of me that so desperately needed a way out.  Then it happened.  I went to bed and allowed my eyes to drown in tears. I barely said a word above a whisper yet I knew by morning my Daddy heard and answered me. So I traded in my fears for a fiercer version of my likeness. I traded low esteem for assurance and confidence. I traded what I can’t do for what He’s already done.

I relaxed and acknowledged that even Superman had to deal with kryptonite.

“It’s okay to not be okay sometimes.”

It wasn’t the first time I heard it, but probably the first time I listened… to my mind, my heart, and my body…. telling me that my transparency is not only what heals others, but what also heals me.

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So I’ve had quite a few business ventures in my head and heart buried for too long. Revelation has excavated the tomb that housed my tenacity. I am fearless and I can only credit one for the intentional recovery of me. Christ and His merciful hand performed a most delicate surgery on me that night. He removed my heart and replaced it with His. He sedated me with just the right amount of love to ensure all the ailments I carried could be eliminated without disturbing my rest. I gave it all to Him…He gave me all of Him. The desires of my old heart weren’t wrong, just flawed… Flawed by misconceptions of who I thought I was.

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Outspoken! Audacious! Loving! That me was buried alive for years, but His heart beat came and rocked my world again. I was required to go back to the place before hurt took up residence… to get beyond the pain and understand why it had to be.  I was challenged to just be loved. I was advised  just be me… to just do you… to work diligently and all would prosper. I was almost distracted by the now. I was almost overcome by reality and then a whisper clarified that I make my reality...that I walk in destiny because He knew me long before I knew me… that He’d planned my joy and that my sorrows were Godly and produced repentance…that my tears were needed  to make the burning in my eyes and heart subside. I released it all- burdens,duties,and issues. I was taught to love again…to be childlike…curious, fearless, and trusting…to not worry about bills, drama, or who said what…to know that He took care of the birds then and He does now- To remember that He took care of me then and He will now.

So I am not disturbed when when circumstances  appear bleak because God’s still got me covered…I rest in knowing it is still okay to not be okay sometimes.

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