I’ve had some hard lessons to grasp lately. I guess I’ve been having spiritual temper tantrum of sorts…

Yeah, this post is all over the place so just deal…

The reality of this waiting process is getting to me…most days I am cool, but the last few days….boy!  It seems the closer I get to the other side of this thing, my patience is well….

Still just because I’m tired of God’s timeline doesn’t mean I have permission to abort the mission.

So my son’s comments taught me a thing or two last night.

He was going on and on about his recent I-phone purchase and how it seemed like the activation process would take forever. He said that he nearly left the store several times but didn’t because he recalled how long he’d been planning this transaction.


It is not that God is not on time, but that I have reached my prior level’s capacity…I feel like a rubber band…still I am in need of additional stretching.

“Un-arrest my development!”

I asked God to teach me how to do that yesterday, but I still went to bed in a somber state. Yet, shortly before falling to sleep, I recalled why the dream I’d had the night prior resurfaced in my mind. So I asked aloud, “What does a hot air balloon have to do with this?”

Yes, I had a weird dream of being taken up in a hot air balloon! However, in the beginning the basket wasn’t a basket…it was more of a bag and felt flimpsy…except as I and another person were lifted higher, a basket sort of developed…hmmm there’s that word again…or at least a derivative of it…development…what carried us was formed and became sturdier with each moment it seemed…I distinctly recall that I chose to cringe in the corner of that basket until my partner coaxed me to stand up and look out together…in the dream, I felt the excitement and somehow much of the initial fear subsided, but in a flash…he and I were free falling…the hot air balloon was gone…I was clothed in a jumpsuit with a parachute but both chutes, the initial and my back up, failed to open when I pulled the cord…I braced myself for the worse and the one who had originally coaxed me to not be afraid and to look out from a higher height in that hot air balloon had been above me…except he wasn’t falling nearly as hard as I…I don’t recall how we began falling, but I know though I feverishly tried to stop myself from falling…my attempts failed…and the few moments I glanced up, he was above me smiling…slowly descending while I was panicking…I don’t recall screaming or asking him for help, but before my partner pulled his cord to test his chute he pinned both his arms to his sides which formed a sort of bullet effect in my direction…he caught me…and in a blink- darkness…the jerk from his parachute opening coaxed my tear-filled eyes open and I found myself being held…covered…protected…known…loved.

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