It has taken some time, but I believe I’m finally getting the point. The last year and a half of my life has been an ever-winding path of detours and distractions. To my family and friends it may have appeared that I was a female version of Abraham…that I had insurmountable faith. Rather, now that I think about it, a closer assessment of my actions might have them thinking that I was just downright crazy for packing up and leaving my home in Little Rock because “God told me to do so.” They thought I had no plan B.
I’m not that Holy. Perhaps, a little bit that crazy at times though. I have always been a risk taker. God knows His children well. I had a plan B. It wasn’t that I had so much faith in God that I knew He would take care of me. Deep down I knew He would provide, however, I assumed that He’d already done so by way of a fledgling relationship of sorts that cropped up from the internet. I remember a co-worker resorting to online dating and I remember my judgement.
That is crazy…stupid…dangerous…Isn’t it amazing how we judge others on the things that we do ourselves? I’ve since repented of course. I suppose one might say I did so before I decided to attempt that cyber connection, however, honestly I believe I still judged her and myself simultaneously. In fact, I know I did because there were things about that relationship that I wouldn’t tell my closest friend. She wouldn’t judge me but she definitely was the voice of reason I needed to heed.
Basically, I had tapped into a completely new level of stupid.
Now, I’m not judging anyone but myself here. I can say it now because I’ve learned from the experience.I have made a lot of mistakes. I left my job because I knew that indeed was God’s will. I knew I was supposed to move back to Memphis for at least a year prior to my doing so. I just wasn’t sure of the steps to take.
I’m not saying that God tricked me to get me here, but I will say that when it comes to fulfilling your purpose God has a way of getting you there by any means necessary. So my means included me being involved in a fictitious and financially abusive nightmare, but it taught me something new about myself and my God. Yes, the lesson was painful, but I wouldn’t trade the experience because I know that my story is more powerful because of what I have endured.
Many more women will be freed from this type of bondage because I went through it. As the saying goes, who cares how much you know-they want to know how much you care…How could I genuinely care if I hadn’t walked in the same shoes…through the same valley? So yep, I’ve been a nomad for nearly two years…technically homeless for a time…but I’m being restored because of this testimony. The word is true that we overcome by the blood of the lamb and by the word of our testimony.
Though my path to destiny hasn’t been an easy one, I know it was simply God’s way of teaching me another way to impact lives for His glory. I guess what I’m saying is I appreciate the detours and I’m ready to move forward.