Better Not Bitter

Responding God's Way to Life's Challenges


November 2016

Know Who You Are!

So Ladies and Gents, I’m trying something new…please like and share!

Love ya!


Give it a Year to Produce!

Pump your emotional brakes! When considering courtship, understand time is on your side. Watch out for those who try to convince you to make a quick decision! We know better typically when we consider a large purchase like a car or a home, but for whatever reason when it comes to dating or selecting friends, we tend to rush our judgment! Why is that?

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I’m not condemning you! In fact, had I actually followed the advice I am giving you now, my then would have been mightily different. But of course, I don’t mind that matter. I wouldn’t be able to help you do better had I not done the contrary so trust I’m good with my past…

Moving On…

Give it a year! The first step of making a good decision with regard to whom you will allow to join you on your journey to destiny is that you must be whole!

If you’re whole you are free to proceed…

However, just in case you are not sure if you are whole, let me explain who a whole person is…

Above are just a few details…of course, there are many more, but you get my drift…

Just in case you are not there yet…this is for you:

Don’t just pump your brakes…Pull over and get off the road! You need to spend quality time with the Lord so that you can get your emotional, spiritual, and mental health in line with God’s intention for you.


Now, in case you are where I am and beyond…let’s use a gardening analogy for a moment…

…on giving it a year…When you give yourself time to allow the relationship to organically grow, you are not left with blind assumptions on the fruit expected!

That said, a year gives you the opportunity to observe the fruit in all seasons! How else are you going to know whether your investment is the right choice?

For example, We all have offseasons, but in the natural, if the fruit you desire to receive is oranges, the last thing you want to do is get lemons…

Get this…agriculturally lemons and oranges grow in the same areas, produce fruit, and have lovely leaves. They are even similar in appearance! Yes, both of these bad boys produce lovely white flowers.

However, if you taste an orange and then a lemon, you definitely know the difference…AM I RIGHT?


Oranges are sweet and are consumed as “fresh” fruit while lemons have a strong, sour taste and are best consumed in small quantities, if at all. However, lemons can be still be appreciated because they also have the ability to bring other flavors (circumstances) together.

Yes, both have important uses!  So before you allow a permanent scowl take residence on your face and in your heart, consider the intention of the thing.

What Does That Mean???

Well,  ladies and gents, you can’t have lemonade without lemons so now is not the time to regret who you have dated or befriended in your past because they left a sour taste in your mouth in a prior season. Consider what those relationships taught you about YOU.

Yes, I meant YOU.

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When you focus on what the relationship taught you about the other person involved, you miss the lesson!

Frankly, if your pattern has been one of shopping for oranges and you keep getting lemons, the issue is not the fruit or its source. After all, the fruit is doing exactly the only thing it can do…Be fruit…Consequently, you are the one who needs to change your perspective.

Don’t Be Misled by the Outside!

As mentioned earlier, in the natural, lemon trees and orange trees produce similar-looking flowers and leaves. Agriculturally, however, there are still a few distinct features to be aware of so there’s no confusion. Lemon trees grow less than half the size of orange trees. What’s more, is that Lemon trees have thorns!

download (11)Consider this question: Are you so focused on the exterior of a potential partner that you failed to even question the kind of fruit that he or she will produce? Better yet, have you taken the time to ask the manufacturer for verification BEFORE you invest?


  • Have you prayed about him or her?
  • Have you waited for a response?
  • Have you heeded the warning?

If you cannot answer yes to those three questions, then, unfortunately, it is likely you will continue to receive the wrong fruit. Remember, insanity is doing the same thing over and over, but expecting different results. You simply cannot make a lemon sweet just as you cannot make a broken person whole. Only God can do that!

Newsflash: YOU ARE NOT JESUS JR!!!

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Your best bet with dating or when exploring a new friendship is to observe the prospect for at least a year to ensure you are getting what you desire. Otherwise, you will be forever trying to make sweet what was ultimately not designed for your consumption. That said, since God allows us free will, in His doing so, He allows us to encounter some sour experiences in relationships occasionally.

Nevertheless,  even these were not meant to discourage you from abandoning your efforts. Rather, the sour experiences you faced before were meant as a part of the process. Regardless of your relational status now, before you invest in a relationship, your chances of receiving exactly what you expect are best when you wait long enough to see the fruit your choice has produced rather than taking a chance on ending up with another sour situation.

©2016 Nadia Davis. All Rights Reserved.


 Almost Overwhelmed

The last few weeks have been interesting..

For lack of a better word, some might conclude “hard,” however, even as I sit in this ER waiting room, I’m comforted with My Father’s love for me and my children. This time the enemy sought to injure my son…earlier this week, he sought to injure my daughter…still earlier this month, he sought to take me out on the highway. There’s one little problem he forgot about, I’m The King’s Kid and I know no weapon formed against me will be able to prosper and thst EVERY EVIL WORD THAT RISES UP AGAINST ME WILL BE PUT TO SHAME. So…with regard to what others see as an obvious reason to sink into despair, I have chosen a different stance. I’ve decided to rejoice because I’m keenly aware of how much more God cares for me in the midst of all of this. I’m more aware of His Presence and because of that my focus on purpose is sharpened. How counterproductive it would seemthe enemy’s ploys have become!

God knows me so well…He reminded me yesterday to watch Him…to Listen…to Follow Him…so knowing some things Only God can fix, I’ve concluded rest my best option…rest in God’s Presence surrounding me…rest in my awareness of His Provision for me…rest in the faithfulness of His heart towards me…rest on the permanence of His word…rest in timing of His response…I’m learning how completely fruitless reactions are…I choose to respond in faith that this too will be of good use…I marvel at the Lord’s Majesty and His track record…fear of failure has no place in my life or the lived of my seed…negativity must cease the moment it encounters my presence…for what does the light have in common with the darkness? 

A glimpse into my world might be daunting for those who hadn’t been privy to it years prior…

Yet, because I’ve been here before and I remember how God came through then, I refuse to allow worry to rob me of another moment now…I’d been on the verge of giving birth to a miracle through countless attacks before…then I was promised a safe delivery…a timely rescue…labor subsided and the joy of birth made the pain an afterthought.


I’ve decided to consider even this a distraction…as fruitless as worry is…it is still but the byproduct of unbelief…I, like the concerned father of the demon-possessed boy in the bible, requested that Christ help my unbelief…indeed He has…

So while I was almost overwhelmed when news of my son’s injury topped the list of “issues”I’ve faced lately, O marvel at how I almost allowed the enemy steal my attention. I almost allowed myself to lose sight of the bigger picture…Yet, now I know My God as Jehovah Roi because He sees all I endure…His grace wholly covers me and my children and I’m secure in His protection…For this reason I’m glad to know almost doesn’t count. At least not to me anymore.

©2016 Nadia Davis. All Rights Reserved

Exclude Wisely

When you are conscious about your disconnections, you understand the necessity of having appropriate relational circles. Rather, my suggestion is that you consider having semi-circle relationships instead. Semi-circle relationships are those that have infinite access to God’s presence on one side and an open “evolving” door to every other relationship. Basically, the relationships on the latter side must be able to evolve. Otherwise, they must dissolve. Your inner semi-circle should be comprised of those who reciprocably sharpen one another spiritually, challenge one another mentally, and support one another emotionally.  We must be emotionally mature enough to discern every relationship’s expiration date. With regard to #seasonsandassignments understand that you must set boundaries to prevent those who are not meant to follow you into your next season from tagging along. God only knows why Abraham allowed Lot to join him when He told him to leave the familiar. Perhaps it was guilt because Lot had no father. Still, the lesson to learn here should be one of observation and not of experimentation. Basically, Abraham had drama and confusion between himself and Lot already. It’s been documented so as we read the text of this account, we are able to see what “not” to do when God  says go. There is no law that says you must learn from your own mistakes. In fact, I’m convinced we all woukd be a lot wiser if we would get a clue from the mistakes of others. That said, don’t allow false guilt over your need to disconnect from those who “knew you when” keep you attached to leeches. Know your desire to detach from parasitic relationships is growth. Healthy relationships are comprised of individuals who genuinely celebrate and encourage that growth in one another. That said, the wrong people will paralyze your path to destiny. So while you’re growing spiritually by getting rid of “a lot” of mindsets, behaviors, and attitudes.Choose to exclude wisely.

©2016 Nadia Davis. All Rights Reserved.




Are you ready to receive your request?

Several years ago, I remember when my children brought two lab-mix puppies home begging to keep them.  They made all sorts of promises–“We’ll take care of them, they were free!” they said.  I gave in…Besides the kids did say they’d do their part, right? WRONG! Two weeks later, the reality of my decision set in… I had two new puppies! 

I wasn’t prepared at all. Nights of endless whining and yelping quickly proved that. Sure, I had a book to help, but had I read it?


Had I followed the instructions that I’d actually read?

Not really.

Had I given up and tried things my way?

Yes, most definitely.

In retrospect, I can see just how unprepared I’d been for what I’d allowed in my home. Had I taken more time to consider the situation and weigh my options perhaps I would have opted out altogether.

I mean, I’ve asked the Lord for years to perfect my gifts, to grant me favor, to anoint me for His glory. And most recently, I’ve asked Him to allow me to be the wife of a suitable partner. I’m grateful He has done all of the above with the exception of the latter.  Still, I realize that with every request there are inevitable responsibilities. Time and effort is needed to excel and steward that request properly.

The bottom line is this. We simply must get to a place where we ask ourselves some important questions before we even think about asking God a thing:

  1. Do I have a plan in place to maximize God’s glory?
  2. Is my plan in line with what God desires for my life?

I already know what you’re thinking…what’s the difference? Well, there are several things you can do to maximize God’s glory.  For instance, I’ve prayed in the spirit for my daughter when she was ill. It glorified God because I trusted Him to do what only He could through me. I laid hands on her and yes, she literally was healed-it was an earache- and as small as that seems—we went to the doctor and the infection was gone…hadn’t had to go back since- that was almost ten years ago… that was a miraculous healing, but healing is not my spiritual gift so for me to go and start laying hands on everybody would not be be in line with God’s desires for my life. So yes, there IS a difference!  As Paul put it in 1 Cor. 7-11:

A demonstration of the Spirit is given to each person to produce what is beneficial: to one is given a message of wisdom through the Spirit, to another, a message of knowledge by the same Spirit, to another, faith by the same Spirit, to another, gifts of healing by one Spirit, to another, the performing of miracles, to another, prophecy, to another, distinguishing between spirits, to another, different kinds of languages, to another, interpretation of languages,.  But one and the same Spirit is active in all these, distributing to each person as He wills.” (HCSB)

Now if we haven’t seriously pondered those questions and come up with a unnanimous “yes” in response, we should understand just how unready we may be for our request….I’m a witness  that we must ask God for wisdom to determine His will for our lives instead of doing what we want to do and expecting God to play by our terms.  For instance, when we ask for a house or a car, we first have a responsibility to believe He is able.  Then we need to prepare ourselves to be a good steward over what we’ve been blessed with—side note—I need to wash my car.

That said, before we ask for what we think we want and need of God, we must be sure that our motives are pure and that we are absolutely ready for what or who we request. Otherwise a gift given too soon is not a gift at all, it’s a problem.

So if  nothing else, consider your response if God says yes. Will you be ready?

Delays and Detours: Not Now Doesn’t Mean Not Ever!

Single Lane Ramp…Use  Caution! Lane Closures Ahead…Expect Delays…Merge Now!

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You might have found yourself involuntary acquainted with these signs on the road. I simply must add an additional half-hour or more to my commute to make it wherever lately. It’s been a frustrating, yet a necessary daily process that the “powers that be” deem will make the rest of the journey a lot smoother so I endure.  I couldn’t help but consider this situation through a relational lens though.


The way you embrace your season of singleness has a way of shifting your perspective on a lot. That said…Not now doesn’t mean not ever!

I have learned to gracefully accept this notion.  My delay has been for my own good. God was protecting me…FROM ME!!!  And if I’m more honest, He was also protecting my future spouse from me too. Yes, I said that and meant that. Honesty is a beautiful thing!  Since I’m brutally honest anyway…

Stop counting the days! The weeks! The years! The others who have gotten married although you feel like you’ve been dropped on the island of misfit toys! (Yes, Grammarians, I know those are fragments…moving on…)


What we deem as “long enough” may be in God’s estimation, “just getting started.” I’m not trying to discourage your dating exploits. Rather, I want you to get to the root of the matter of “you.” After all, of the failed marriages and relationships you may have experienced, there is one common denominator:


I’m not calling you out without considering my own journey now so don’t get it twisted…I have had to get reacquainted with myself too…And yes, I’m still single.  While I know my own single season is coming to a close soon, the difference between my now and my then is that before I was just healed.  Now I am healed and whole! There is a difference!


Yes, hurt people hurt people, and even healed people heal people.  Regardless, even a whole person CAN NOT make another person whole! Only Christ can fill the voids in you so you are suitable for the man or woman He has designed to complement you.

That means the issue here is not how long you have experienced a delay in your “wait” for a mate. Rather, God’s concern is whether you are whole and whether the person He intends for you is also whole. The detours and delays are there merely because construction is in process and until the roads are clear–meaning both parties are emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and yes even physically ready to receive one another– your safety and the safety of others requires you to take alternate routes at times. And yes, just like in traffic, it will take a little longer to get to your destination than you may have originally intended.

Have you allowed God authorization to reconstruct you?


Detours and Delays!!! Who needs ’em? Who wants ’em?

In a way, we all do and don’t. No, I’m not contradicting myself…just take the meat and spit out the bones. What I mean is that though we generally do not want to be delayed in any process, especially relationships, detours are necessary sometimes to ensure we actually complete the process safely. If a bridge is out and there is no lane closure, the results would be catastrophic! It’s not very different from the results of a romantic relationship that lacks boundaries. So the next time you see the sign to detour when considering a potential dating partner, make the decision to take it with grace and expect delays knowing that not now does not mean not ever.

©2016 Nadia Davis. All Rights Reserved.


Last Night I had a MOMent

On the heels of two blessings I was not expecting, the enemy tried again and thought he’d won, but never. I thank God for His word and reminding me that I have no business allowing the enemy to blindside me with foolishness. I was reminded that life and death is in the power of the tongue. I found myself saying things and thinking things I knew were not true of my seed…Pain can make you do and say stupid stuff. Yet, I refuse to allow the enemy to dissuade me from what My God already showed me. My Father is faithful. My Father promised me life more abundantly so I suppose the enemy was running out of options yet again. I know God is my provider and my father…He is even my husband in this season and my children’s father as well. Yes, the battlefield is the mind, but I’m strapped and covered from head to toe with all that God provides for my protection. I rejoice in the knowledge that God is in control and that HE alone directs my paths. I refuse to allow my mind to succumb to worry or doubt period. My son and daughter are successful and are blessings sent directly from my Father.

Heavenly Father,

Thank You for giving me the ability to give the devil a black eye with my smile. Father, thank You for restoring the years that were destroyed by the canker worm. Thank You for preparing me for this transition. Thank You for allowing me to be wise in every decision from here forward. Thank You for allowing me the charge to pray for the Man of God. Thank You for my future husband and our ministry. Thank You for the ministry that You have allowed Your angels to provide to me in this moment and every other moment my flesh seeks to outweigh my spirit. Thank You for always reminding me that GREATER IS HE IN ME THAN HE THAT IS IN THE WORLD. THANK YOU FOR BLESSING ME AND ALLOWING ME TO BE A BLESSING. THANK YOU FOR LOVING ME SO MUCH DADDY! THANK YOU FOR ALLOWING ME THE COMFORT OF YOUR ARMS. THANK YOU FOR NOT ALLOWING MY FOOT TO STUMBLE AND THANK YOU FOR ALLOWING THE CALL YOU HAVE ON MY LIFE TO HELP OTHERS WHO HAVE STUMBLED UP TO THEIR FEET!!! GLORY TO YOUR NAME! THANK YOU FOR MY CONFIDENCE! THANK YOU FOR DETERMINATION. THANK YOU FOR GRACE. THANK YOU FOR REMINDING ME THAT I AM THE APPLE OF YOUR EYE! THANK YOU FOR FAVORING ME IN SPITE OF ME!



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