Better Not Bitter

Responding God's Way to Life's Challenges


December 2015

Keep it Simple for 2016

Originally, I’d planned to entitle this post: Keep it Simple for 2016 and for the rest of your life! But that’s just too long and not simple at all is it?
You know the answer so moving on…
That’s a good point…if you do nothing else with the new year…know that it’s a new opportunity to get over it!!!!


Yep, the grudges, the faults, the mistakes, the bad habits…all of the mess that got you to this point is over and you can’t do anything to change it…so simplify your life by eliminating the excess…both mentally and spiritually. I didn’t say physically because isn’t that what everyone pledges to do every year. …to lose excess pounds…most of which were deliberately gained just one week prior…well…I’m just not going there…it’s been done enough and the fact is…without a complete mental and spiritual upheaval…you’ll not do much more than you did last year with that resolution anyway.

Not griping, just random info, I’m typing and thinking while I wait on my order at McDonald’s to be made…Keeping it simple is about so much more than what I’ve already mentioned, but in my attempt to do so, I’ll just leave it at that this post. Oh, and Happy New Year!!!

Little by Little

Perhaps you’ve heard that God brought the children of Israel out little by little and considering the length of their journey and the years of bondage they endured, one could easily consider that it was definitely a time-consuming process….


God is extremely patient with His children. He doesn’t want any of us to perish…I have to remind myself of this truth from time to time when it seems He’s forgotten about me.

Yes, frustration with circumstances has had me at times tempted to just give up. But I’m glad for the times God takes the time to remind me that the journey is only part of my story…that far too many people would be shortchanged if I decided to just opt out on my future…

Thankfully, I’m learning to come to my senses a bit quicker nowadays. Regardless, the improvement of spiritual reflexes doesn’t stop the enemy’s tricks.

I had a friend tell me that satan will never use big stuff to get you off focus…that the closer you get to your destination he uses little distractions that accumulate….

Question:  Have you allowed little distractions get in the way of you and your destiny?

I’ll be honest…for a minute…maybe a few weeks…months…okay years…I had…but you know I’ve come to a conclusion I should have stuck with from the beginning: The inconveniences I’ve experienced aren’t my final chapter…I’m learning to consider them as plot twists…yes pun was intended…I’m a writer…couldn’t help it.

So though it seems like some of my trials signal the end of my destiny before I have had the opportunity to enjoy it, I recall how God delivered the Israelites little by little.

That truth gives me the strength and faith to keep going.

I want to know Him better

I know I need to know God more intimately and nothing could have helped me acknowledge that fact more than the passed few weeks I’ve endured. More specifically was the cloud of conviction behind my routine prayer…no I didn’t mean routine prayer time…I meant routine prayer…sure there have been times often where my prayers are genuinely heart felt and open to all God has to share with me. However, a few weeks ago in response to a friend’s prayer request, I bowed my head immediately on their behalf and uttered, “Dear Gracious Heavenly Father, Thank You for this food I’m about to receive…”

Yep…I did it…thankfully I caught myself…rather I know now that the Holy Spirit caught me and reminded me that I had begun to get into a most unsettling routine with My Father….that I hadn’t been real with Him in a while outside of my notebooks and journals…so over the last couple of weeks, I’ve taken time to reread even some of those entries…again I found well-manicured acrylic prayers…sure some were addressed to my daddy, but what followed were more examples of what I’d fought so hard to not do…I was fully clothed…with a coat even in a 90 degree situation…I knew I needed to be naked with God for deliverance but I chose to wear my strength on my sleeve instead of my heart that had just been broken. I found myself too afraid to cry out for help because how else could I fix others when I could barely hold my own pieces in place? Tears bathed my face, but kept me awake the 45 minute commute to a place I have yet to call home.
“God, I wanted it to be right! I wanted to be adored. To love and be loved. I thought He was who You sent me! I wasn’t even interested! I did what I thought You wanted me to do! I know I should forgive him, but I don’t want to! Help me! I’m too weak for this!”
And He answered…not with wrath, but with the love I needed to know I was still worthy to receive…a message in a bathroom…because the kids had one more day of school before winter break, I decided to stop at McDonald’s to fight my fatigue. Time in the stall thinking and trembling because it had been cold that night, I saw what He wanted me to know….


…He took time out to tell me that I’m special although I’d done everything but curse Him for allowing me to meet the man I dared give my heart to…for this reason I no longer just need to My Daddy better…I want to know Him better…

Tis His Season

Hello Family,

“Some children would not have a Christmas if it were not for the  generosity of others.”
I heard this pitch on the radio today…it’s matched countless others I’ve heard this time of year…I’m reluctant to say, ” this holiday season.”


The petition is made with great intent I’m sure…to coax others to give to those less fortunate. Until this morning, my heart had never been grieved by the statements or even by those like it. In fact, before I’d found myself in a predicament considered “less fortunate” I used to jump at the chance to support the Angel tree and to serve others in financial ways whenever possible. I remember my son bringing it to my attention how I’ve given to others when I really didn’t have much myself. I’m in no means tooting my own horn here because I know that without God’s grace, I wouldn’t have the heart to give of myself or my resources at any time.


Perhaps my circumstance and my thirst for a closer walk with Christ is what led me to feel the need to carry such a heavy burden even before I dotted the door of Hope Church this morning!

This is His Season!

No gift was ever so precious and priceless than that of our Lord Jesus Christ. Yet, it seems that many of us have forgotten the original reason for this season. I’m not pointing fingers or trying to legalize the spirit of giving. However, just in case there are some offended by my admission, I feel no need to apologize for I know such a burning wouldn’t have been placed in my heart otherwise. With that I admonish You to consider the magnitude of God’s gift to the world when you give to others in tangible ways.

It’s great to be able to give material gifts. Yet,ensure that no matter what time of year you give them that you do so from the perspective that Christ’s birth is the real reason to celebrate every season.



Hope B. Loved

Just a Temporary Inconvenience

Hmmm…well considering that the title of my blog is Better Not Bitter, I understand my obligation to forgive quickly. That was not always the case of course. Holding grudges was my middle name and I even thought for a time that doing so made me happy…I was so wrong.

!images (1)

That said, it’s only fair that I share my steps to doing so.  Obviously, I ranted yesterday a bit about my recent break up and relational issues.  However, I am satisfied with my decision to end things and I have peace that I made the right decision. Though admittedly, at the time of the phone call, I had no idea what I was going to say until it was said.  Now I had played the scenario out in my head for most of that day before, but I know that as cut and dry as my response seemed. It was all that was necessary to get my point across. There was no need to yell or argue…to mope or to beg.  Drama is best left to the big and small screen, not my life.

I noticed that while I am happy that things are over and said to myself that I have no hard feelings towards my former beau, today I relented the latter part of that statement.

I was angry all over again.wpid-2015-07-27-08-09-16-972356833.jpeg

But angry at what or with whom you might ask?

Part of me could answer that my beef was with myself or with him, but for a moment, I believe I was upset with God. I recalled how I had feverishly combed His word to ensure that I was proceeding in the right direction and how I prayed so much about the things we endured together.

I realized suddenly, it had to happen this way. With that, I repent for my ill feelings towards my Father, who still knows best. I realize that I like so many of you may have done, read too much into the situation. As Jesus often pointed out with the Pharisees, I picked apart the word for the words themselves at times…literally…instead of relying on the Holy Spirit to guide me every time.

download (1)

I’m sure that even though things were uncomfortable that I needed to remain there for that time…I needed to go through all these emotional dips and flips so that I could better assess the situations of others while tweaking my own intentions.  I would not have been able to identity the importance of receiving what I need in a husband in lieu of what I thought I wanted had we not been together for a time.

So do I regret our time?  No, not anymore. I don’t consider it a waste of time either because I’m sure both of us learned some valuable lessons.


Do I harness ill will for him…not in the least..  I want him to prosper and with that perhaps I was his distraction too.  Perhaps, the things God had deemed for this son’s assignment were misaligned because I came into the picture.  So with that, perhaps not all distractions are bad…So instead of considering our relationship a complete distraction, I concede that it was just a temporary inconvenience.

©2015 Nadia Davis.  All Rights Reserved.

So I’m single again…just call me Rachel

Random info…continue at your own risk…unedited so yes there are typos…

“Uh huh…I think I was in love with the idea of being in love. It’s not God’s will so this is goodbye.”

I know…I know…it seems like something straight out of a Hallmark movie channel script, right? well, it’s not…at least not yet.

Those were the words I said two days ago to the man I assumed would be my husband when he called.

I know I’d made the decision to end things in my heart weeks if not months ago over and over.  I just couldn’t seem to make my mind and mouth cooperate until that very moment.

I’d considered a bunch over the passed few months…how I felt about him…how I’d been tested in forgiveness and loyalty…how I’d explored the extent of Godly submission. I thought originally I’d just been rebellious…that the Jezebel  spirit I thought was buried had resurfaced….I didn’t realize until Monday morning that I was wrong…that the conflict I’d experienced wasn’t internal as much as it was external…that I hadn’t yet decided to remove the yoke that had me bound…that I’d had that uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach about him for a reason. He was a man of God, yet still a fatal distraction.

I can almost applaud satan for his cunning if I didn’t hate him so much.  For several months, I was misled and almost settled…eagerly looking for signs to match what I knew God shared with me…that my gifts needed to first be surrendered at the feet of the man of God…I know God led me to Memphis for a reason…yet all the while, I was misdirected by talk…no real action…promises with no real manifestation.  His attempt to coax me with promises of financial security were never a temptation.  I think I’m sure I loathe an arrogant mind more than idiocy itself.
I thought…maybe I’m out of line…I’m not suppose to challenge…so I tried not to…as days turned into weeks. ..the more I was inspired to write and study God’s word…pictures of me sparked senseless debates about having too many admirers on Facebook and being too busy for him…the desire was expressed that I not work as his wife…that he’d take care of all I needed…yet…since moving here, there was never a time I felt comfortable asking his help…so I struggled in silence…I was humbled I know by God…yet, I learned to have no problem asking for help from others…friends and family…the one time courage welled in me to ask him…he complied…with griping…I watched my account for 2 weeks…thinking his type would reverse the monies paid out of spite…

Why on earth would I assume that of him?


I’m sure now that even that response was attributed to God’s provision for His daughter…by any means necessary…I considered the character of love…kind, patient, not boastful or rude…yet, the words “I love you” fell so effortlessly from a mouth only meeting the opposite.

download (1)
I came to myself…realized I hadn’t written…really written in weeks…inspiration was drained from fear of a controlling spirit...

Yet, I remembered I hadn’t compromised myself…images (1)

I shook off the guilt of accepting his gift of help for the one bill he paid and embraced the gift of goodbye…

A LUNCH with a friend Sunday shed light where my flashlight had gone dim…that he was a distraction…all talk and no action…that I needed to finish my books…that’s she’s waiting and so are others…

Monday morning God confirmed to me the man of God’s feet of which my gifts were to be laid…where I’d been fed all along…where I could learn more…right in my face, but I was fatally distracted momentarily.

To think I wouldn’t even have known the magnitude of or the existence of fatal distractions had not more than a year prior my cousin not intervened . One CD captured an intriguing speaker teaching God’s word so curiosity led me to Hope.

I’m looking forward to handling my Father’s business…not concerned with dating…marriage…and all that jazz…just handling my Father’s business…so yes, I’m single again…willing to be sought…truly courted by the Jacob God has chosen…waiting years might be God’s will…Rachel waited  on the other side of 14 years while her purposed position was prepared so regardless of my relational track so far…I’m good alone…not in the least lonely…handling God’s business is on my agenda from now on so just call me Rachel.

images (2)

©2015 Nadia Davis.  All Rights Reserved.

Blog at

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: