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Better Not Bitter

Responding God's Way to Life's Challenges

Month

May 2015

Grace for the Gay Life

“I’m just letting you know that if I get suspended from school on Tuesday, it’s for a good reason.”

Granted, that is not exactly the greeting I’d hoped to get from my 17 year old son who’d been driving me “nuts” with the way he’d been “flubbing” up his grades lately…

However,  yesterday I knew I needed to listen and say nothing.

So I did and he continued.

He began, “Okay, there’s this dude I know…he doesn’t bother anybody…he rides the school bus with me…Well, we wore a wig to school…and…well, he’s confused…Anyway, he wore a wig to school and they suspended him for nothing so the whole upcoming senior class is planning to purposely disregard the school’s dress code in protest of his treatment. They can’t suspend everybody!”

 

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That was his logic…I almost worried whether he would be the only one brave enough to do it…

He continued “I mean, I don’t condone his lifestyle, but he didn’t do anything wrong so mama, I’m gonna wear a “wife beater” and I’m gonna sag on Tuesday in protest!  So when I get suspended, you can’t say it wasn’t for a good reason”

Hmmm…a good reason…that got me thinking again about all the questions I’ve asked of God.  I was always told of the “good” that would be revealed.  I admit some of those goods have yet to manifest in my life, but given those I have experienced already, I’m yet hopeful.

I imagine that my son assumed that I would have been upset with him for his premeditated rebellion, but I wasn’t.  I was proud.

I was proud because not long ago the first thing he mentioned when he arrived at the performing arts school was that there were a lot of “confused” students and he immediately wanted to go elsewhere.

However, after a while he realized that these students were not much different than himself. I shared with him then he was called to minister to them.  He shrugged it off and I almost forgot about it myself until I saw the smile in his eyes when he mentioned what he was going to do on behalf of his comrade.

My son then went on to say that he was more upset with the faculty because they all walked by the young man laughing at him while he was in the office.  He even mentioned how one of the security guards called him a f*#%t-I can’t even bring myself to type the word.

I can only imagine how ostracized the boy might have felt.

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I wouldn’t be surprised if my son came up with the protest idea himself.  I also wouldn’t be surprised if he were the only one to do it.  He’s a born leader and strong-willed in every way.

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I am most proud of my son because he has learned to see this young man, though “confused” as he put it, as God sees us.  I could say that my words of wisdom helped him reach the point of his decision yesterday, but I know that it was the Holy Spirit. Recco is willing to sacrifice himself for the wrong done to another.

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Considering the times this year I’ve been tempted to assume my son was possessed (teen-attitudes-who needs ’em), I could have easily dismissed his decision to purposely get suspended for this “good reason” as reckless.

Yet, I can’t help but smile knowing my son is getting a bit more like Jesus everyday in that he too has an abundance of grace for the gay life.

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©2015 Nadia Davis. All Rights Reserved.

 

6 Things Christians Should Stop Saying

Man this post really made me reconsider some of the things I’ve said over the years…it’s worth you taking a look too.

Gospel Relevance

We all have that one friend that consistently says cheesy Christians clichés. I think most of us would agree that this is typically, well, very annoying. This is intensified when the sayings aren’t biblical. The motive behind saying them are usually noble, but they often simply aren’t true or helpful.

So, what are some of them?

Below are six things that Christians should stop saying:

1) Let Go and let God.  This phrase is typically used when in a trial. In a sense, I adore the “letting go” part if that means resting in God’s sovereignty, but when facing trials and tribulations, there are simply a lot of things that we can actually do. We can pray, study Scripture, confess sin, repent of sin, seek help from wise counsel, weep, mediate on Scripture, serve others, etc. “Letting go” has too much of a passive feel to it; it denotes that we…

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IKR

This is perhaps the shortest title I’ve ever written for a post, but I’m sure all of you are tech saavy enough to know what that means…Anywho …

Well, today I’m just going to drop a little bit of wisdom on your borrowing a line from one of my favorite R&B groups from back in the day, “Don’t Talk, Just Listen”  Now while I have written on the subject before…at least I think I have…anyway….

Okay, I have but it’s in one of those drafts I mentioned I need to get done.

I remember one time I used to have a little problem with running my mouth as if I knew it all…

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No seriously, I remember when it came to an abrupt demise too.

What had happened was…(yes, I know that is incorrect grammar)

Anyway, I overheard one of my co-workers call another co-worker the “wrong name!”

Or so I thought…

No one asked for my assistance, but I interjected it anyway.   Naturally I assumed I was right.

Need I really say anything more about assumptions? 

Didn’t think so!

She answered in such a genuinely kind voice…she’s a pastor’s wife…why was that necessary?

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No, you don’t know what you’re talking about, I’ve known her since before you were born.

That said, I’ve revealed yet another embarrassing life lesson.

Sometimes we don’t get the point so quickly…

I spoke to a woman not long ago who called for my help.  Yet, the moment I opened my mouth, she quickly cut me off with, “I know that hon, but I’m talking about the  yadda, yadda, yadda.”

So what did I do?  I did as any wise person would.  I shut up and waited for her to finish telling me “everything she knew.”

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Long story short…when she finally stopped I was able to tell her just enough to get her motor running again.

She listened for a minute and really didn’t allow me to tell her much else because she was all “IKR”

Yep, she knew soooooo much that she had to call back and ask for more help….again…and again…

Do you really think it was a coincidence that she got me three times in a row that day?

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I’m not bashing the woman, I’m merely pointing out how sometimes we can be so quick to “know it all” that we prove just how little we do know….to us and to whoever else is in earshot. I believe that God was teaching her a lesson that we all should take more seriously.

She was in such a rush to get things done that she ended up wasting more time and energy making u-turns than she would have had she simply slowed down, attentively listened to instruction, and allowed me to guide her in the process the first time.

Since my own little rush to misjudgment, I have made it a point to mind my own business, however,  I have found myself on occasion not fully listening to what God has said to do.

For instance, I believe God wants me to be married.   Only, when I first got that word, I just ran with it.  I never stopped and gathered all the necessary info.  Two divorces later, I’m definitely only seeking God’s advice from here on out…

Do you really want to go through what I went through? I hope not.

I thank God for His Grace and Deliverance! I’m grateful for the process because through it I finally obtained wholeness.  However, if I could have gotten to this place a little simpler, trust, I would have…

That said, the next time you are tempted to text or even think IKR, please for your own good make sure you actually do!

©2015 Nadia Davis. All Rights Reserved.

Hang Up Your Hiccups

The other morning the craziest thing happened.  I got the hiccups in mid-prayer!

It didn’t make sense because I just woke up! So…not to sound all super-duper spiritual and all, but I went for my bible.  I don’t believe in coincidences and I’m learning more and more to rely on the Holy Spirit’s leading so that’s that on that.

However,  every time my eyes would settle on a passage, I’d hiccup and lose my focus. So I got up and went to my dictionary instead.

Yep, I completely forgot about getting some water.  download (1)

Anyway, the first definition I found…well…

A medical doctor I am not!  Nor do I ever intend to be in the medical field, so all the talk about the epiglottis and diaphragm contractions was no where near what I needed to know. What caught my attention, however, was the second definition.

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Basically, a hiccup is considered a “setback.” It went on to say that it is “usually a minor one.”  And get this, the moment I understood how it applied to my life, my hiccups stopped!

So yes, I guess God was trying to tell me something and I’m grateful for the revelation.  He allowed me to realize the uncomfortable situation I been dealing with (you know financial woes, issues with my kids, and even bouts with unforgiveness) were just minor setbacks and better yet, they were only temporary.

I have a typical job and while I’m grateful for the opportunity to be employed at a ministry, however, ministering to those who have been hurt and forgotten is what pleases me the most.   So I guess it could be said that I’m fulfilled….

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I want more…I want to do more…I know God has designed me for more…I want to break out of this box like yesterday!

I have so many ideas…that are demanding to get out!!!

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Do you have dreams that you have yet to fulfill? Have you allowed someone else to finish what you haven’t had the courage to start?  Have you allowed fear to paralyze you before the next step in the process?  Sometimes the only way you can truly see God in all His faithfulness is when you take a step. And that step might mean a step away from the familiar: a relationship, a job, or even a lifestyle.

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I’m most at peace writing about the Lord, speaking about His presence, just being where He wants me to be, and could really care less about much else.  God opened my eyes the other morning with a new determination to complete the purpose He started in my life so many years ago.

It’s been a long time since I’d started that journey, but God allowed me to see that I’d previously allowed the hiccups–yes, the setbacks-usually minor–curtail my faith and the process He had assigned to my life.   He allowed me to see that my faithfulness to His purpose was far more important that any 9-5. All the while, God’s remained my source.  He’s allowed me to go through illness that has caused me to work less, thus, getting paid less, but I haven’t skipped a beat.  The Lord truly is my Shepherd!  I can no longer allow the busy to-do lists divert my attention any longer from God’s already-done list.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that I don’t have to worry about holding my breath or relying on fear to jolt me into what God has for me.  I just have to remain consistent in seeking Him and allow Him to direct my path.

This morning I realized that God was waiting on me.  I’m not advocating that you walk away from your job tomorrow, but I am advising you to examine yourself and your surroundings.  It doesn’t necessarily mean that where you are right now is not a good place.  It might just not be the place you need to be anymore.  With that, I’ve hung up my hiccups, now it’s your turn.

©2015 Nadia Davis. All Rights Reserved.

You’ll Find Me Frolicking in Yonder Glen.

NotoftheNorm.


Near and dear to my heart, lies a word. This is word that most people have heard, but haven’t really taken the time to understand. This is a word that makes me think of all that we can’t understand in the world. This is a word that brings to my mind magic in the most innocent form.

“Whimsy.”

The autumn leaves crunch underfoot. Despite the brush of a chill across your face, you can’t help but smile because of the sheer beauty in the scene before you. The sunlight is streaming down through the jostling tress and the world around you is orchestrating a minuet of celebration– because regardless of circumstances, God is still good, life is still a gift, and creation is still whimsical.

The Oxford Dictionary definition:
“Playfully quaint or fanciful, especially in an amusing and appealing way.”

I think that, just maybe, God wants us to live…

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The Letter

12 years ago today, I remember His grace all the more.

Better Not Bitter

Dear Broken Sister,

I hope and pray that you read this message in its entirety as I have a lot to say. I’d be lying if I said that no one put me up to this, but gladly that one is our Lord. I know this seems weird that I am contacting you this way. I really don’t know how to begin but you have been on my mind and heart for quite some time. When I asked for your contact information, I had every intention of providing it to the ministry leader so that we could send you the prior discussion topics on the days you may be unable to attend. But when I thought about it, the paper that you’d written your information on was nowhere to be found. A few Sundays ago I bought an extra cd of the service because I didn’t think I saw you…

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Don’t Force the Fit

Let’s face it there are some people who are not meant to be a part of your life anymore.

Cliche as it may be, it’s the truth.  There are some people who were only meant to stick around for a while.  And that “while” does not equate to making it last forever!

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I still don’t really understand why this song is so popular…all that whining and carrying on…I digress…

Let me put it to you this way.  You wouldn’t wear a wool coat in the summer would you?  So why hang onto people who are just as ill-fit for your  next season?

download (5)    Is it Guilt?

Is it loneliness? images (45)

  download Is it familiarity?

Well whatever the excuse, when God gives you the gift of goodbye (Shout out to Pastor K) it’s always in your best interest to bid adieu.

That is so easy to say isn’t it?

Of course it is, but doing it takes a WHOLE lot more faith than we tend to have.  Hey, I’m not pointing the finger.  While I’m typing, I’m preaching to myself too.

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I remember I prayed for months for the Lord to heal my marriage and nothing changed between us until one night I cried at my daughter’s bedside, “Lord, just make him leave!!!! Thy will be done.”

That next Tuesday, He announced plans to move out.

You see I tried to force what didn’t fit anymore. (If it ever did)

Still wondering about that one there!

What I didn’t realize at the time was that God is not obligated when we go against what He said to do.

My point:  Let’s take Abraham, for example. God made a covenant with him and he was given specific instructions to leave his family and go where God alone directed him.  Sure, Abraham left and had the faith to follow where God led him immediately.  There was just one little problem.

Lot went with him!!!

Genesis 12:1-4 New Living Translation (NLT)

The Call of Abram

12 The Lord had said to Abram, “Leave your native country, your relatives, and your father’s family, and go to the land that I will show you. I will make you into a great nation. I will bless you and make you famous, and you will be a blessing to others. I will bless those who bless you and curse those who treat you with contempt. All the families on earth will be blessed through you.”

So Abram departed as the Lord had instructed, and Lot went with him. Abram was seventy-five years old when he left Haran.

Now, it did not say that Abraham invited Lot to tag along, but it also didn’t say that he did anything to prevent Lot from joining him on the journey.

In this way Abraham was partially obedient. And not to add anything to the bible, but I believe by not committing to God’s exact instruction, Abraham also delayed his promise. Think about it. In the very next chapter all you see is drama and confusion.

Oh My how woefully familiar!!!   54125709

 

I believe this is because I too have partially obeyed God’s instruction before and let’s say the blessings that are manifesting for me right now have been a long time coming as a result!

Hold Up! I am no advocate for divorce as I’m sure I’ve mentioned before for the record. However, I’m an avid supporter of EQUALLY YOKED unions though!!!

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Ladies, a word of warning: If a man is not going to change to get you, he will definitely not change to keep you….so it really doesn’t matter whether he puts a ring on it if his heart is not sincere!

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Besides if you don’t have Your Daddy’s approval, you are bound for trouble.

Now we all may need to grow up a bit and I admit I’m still growing so this is NO MAN BASHING SESSION!!!

In fact, I only brought  this subject up because I’ve been swarmed with questions and conversations about relationships lately…As if I had a clue!

Okay this is me and relationships before reading a bunch of other blogs and books about them:

 

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I’m somewhat amazed at some of the questions I’ve received.  Yet, in the same breath, I’m humbled that those who’ve thought to ask my opinion did so out of what they’ve said that I’ve represented before them.

download (7)  Not yet anyway….the first book’s is almost done!!!!!

Regardless, one thing is for certain,  you can’t force what doesn’t fit. So do yourself a favor, stop trying and move on!

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©2015 Nadia Davis. All Rights Reserved.

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