Why am I still posting about Marriage? Man, I don’t know!

Trust this obedience to the Holy Spirit has me a bit spooked myself, but I’m going with it….

Yes, while I was perusing some of my old posts I came across this same little issue and felt the need to further discuss it….again…

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Okay I mentioned this the other day and the day before that and apparently last year, but anyway…here’s what I’ve come up with so far…

On a road trip last year, I found myself giving another young lady some advice about her relationship…go figure….rather, I told her waiting is her best option when she mentioned,

“I mean I want to be married like yesterday!”  

It’s not the first time I’d heard her say that and given my own history, I couldn’t dare allow her to make the same mistakes I had because of impatience.  Also, after talking some more with her and another friend, we all realized the one thing we had in common.  We were all sort of angry with our men at the time…well, one girl seemed to be chronically upset with hers, but that’s a subject for another day.  I guess the situation wasn’t as funny as our laughter made it seem at the time, but as we vented we realized our abrupt actions led to a trivial pursuit of having it our way. Of course, the guys on the road trip gave us a hand in that revelation.images

Nonetheless, perhaps our little battle of the sexes proved something fruitful…

Oh did I mention that this was a Single’s Trip meant for good, clean, fellowship and not hook-ups…I just thought I’d throw that in noting the irony of the motives behind some who join Single Ministries…


I digress as usual…

Anyway, we all (guys and gals) seemed to want the same thing in a committed relationship: to be loved unconditionally, respected, and appreciated; but men and women are different and it takes time for those differences to either compliment or repel one another.  Also it definitely helps if you know what makes you feel loved. Check out 5 love languages for singles…Awesome read!!!

Given that understanding, it’s important to know that marriage doesn’t start with the wedding.  It starts with God.  Unfortunately, however, we live in a microwave culture and because so many don’t take the time to wait on God’s approval, provision, and timing, far too many marriages end shortly after the honeymoon.

So again…what can be done to get us on the right track to having the love that we feel we deserve….well for starters it could help that you are lovable.

I know that seemed a bit mean, but hear me out.

Are you treating people like you really want to be treated or are you going through life faking the funk occasionally and biting people’s heads off the rest of the time.


The bible says, to have friends you must show yourself friendly…wouldn’t it stand to support that to have love you need to ensure that you’re lovable..

Now, I have had a past that I can’t really repeat right now…well because of copyright stuff but we’ve all got one…good, bad, ugly…some we wish we could completely eliminate from the planet…and then again some of you really would just prefer that  some of the guys and gals of your pasts would just disappear from the planet instead…

Whatever the case…the only way to get beyond the pain of yesterday is to face it and bury it…not burying it in a shallow grave…completely obliterating it the way we wish we could do that person who broke our hearts…that kind of annihilation…otherwise, those good guys and girls who are willing to stick it out with become a casualty of the war in your heart…some end up wounded and others end up dead…

Yes, you’ve successfully but not so much created another heartbroken zombie like yourself because you refuse to seek or accept the healing and help you need to be whole so you won’t be a ticking time bomb to others.

I know this post is all over the place, but I feel the need to spread the word about the importance of being whole yourself before you even think of tagging along with another person in your journey.

I don’t know why, but God does and that’s enough for today.

©2015 Nadia Davis. All Rights Reserved.

Father Still Knows Best, part 2

So I decided to elaborate a bit on the topic of waiting...

I actually planned a whole different post…for real and then I began typing and the Lord decided to teach me a lesson before I could tell you to do the same…

Last year a friend made this comment about her relationship at the time,

“I mean I want to be married like yesterday!”  

Apparently her biological clock was ticking louder than she cared to hear…images (1)

I mean really?  We’ve all seen some aspect of a “Bridezilla” whether on the reality show or in reality period so I’m just curious…

Question:  Are you on a mission to be married too? I’ve had to even sit down and have a pow wow with myself on this one.

Marriage is a big step…one I’ve been there, done it wrong twice….Do I even want to go there again?


Having worked at a marriage ministry for 2 years, I picked up a few pointers and not so much.  I mean, some days I felt more like a counselor than a customer service representative…

Considering all the wedding announcements posted on social media and just as many if not more divorce filings plastered in the papers on a daily basis, I think it’s fair that I post a little info on the matter as well…

A bit of background…

I can’t tell you the number of calls I received from wives calling to purchase “Stepping Up” as a gift for their husbands.  Some even called under the guise that their husbands asked them to order it for them.  Yeah Right….now some might have been legit, but it was something about the desperation I’d hear in these women’s voices that clued me in otherwise.

Wow…and yes, I admit there were times when I told them point blank, “You might not want to do that.”

These wives really wanted to figure out how they could “make” their husbands be the men they knew they could be.  While I felt their plight, I also understood one thing then that I’m actually finding issues with grasping today…”You can’t really change a man.”

Moreover, you really should try to do it either.

Yep, and for the guys….You really can’t change a woman either….

Yeah…just as many men were calling requesting “Fierce Women” as a gift too! Trust, if you are dealing with a fiercely domineering woman, the last thing you want is to give her that book as a “token of your appreciation.”

It won’t be appreciated.  In fact, it will likely be the start of a serious verbal assault aka WW3.

And don’t get me started on the nosy mother in laws and over-protective father in laws who completely forgot that once their son or daughter takes a spouse that their work is done:

Eh Hmm….Leave and Cleave ring a Bell Anybody?download

I’m not complaining…it was quite comical most days…but sad in the same that so many were searching for answers, but going about getting them all wrong…

Now that I’ve leveled the playing field a bit…of course there are times when we want to see the changes occur…so what’s a guy or gal to do?


No, I’m not talking about one of those like:

“Lord fix him” 


“Lord, make her submit.”

I’ve tried that first one and well, it  doesn’t work… because at best, I was being selfish…so if I may release a little bit of what I’ve learned so far…

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For those engaged or married already

  1. Pray that God give you a compassionate heart…that the Holy spirit allow you to think on these things first:


This has saved me on many occasions…

Why?  Because even if I have been disappointed, thinking of all the good things that my significant other has done or represents helps me separate the fault from him and softens the “blow” my flesh would rather give had I not considered the offense in this manner.

2. Pray that God allow you the grace to react like this:

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Taking time to listen to what’s said and even what’s not said makes a difference.  We tend to get defensive when we are hurting.  Even a dog will snap at his owner when he is in pain. Understand that sometimes it’s necessary to just allow your partner to simmer down and then reconvene the discussion.  It’s not a matter of avoidance, rather it’s a good way to avoid saying something that you’d later regret.

3.  Pray that God allow you to be able to forgive quickly and unconditionally:

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I’ve found that it really helps to actually put yourselves in their shoes.  Ask yourself how you would feel if they addressed you aggressively.  Moreover, consider how you would feel if the tables were turned completely.  I’m having to do this right now so I can attest that it helps.

For those single and seeking

Pray that God make you ready to receive the love you need.

I know that seems simple, but I’ve had to learn that I hadn’t been ready to receive the righteous love God wanted me to have in a marital relationship in the past because I had been unwilling to truly accept God’s love for me first.  I also want to point out that I said the love you need and not what you want….there is a difference…

Single Ladies and Gents,

The love you need is not going to be from someone to placate your ever whim either.  Rather the love you need will bring out the best in you by any means necessary…yes that includes letting you know occasionally that your stuff stinks too…


With Love of course….still that is no excuse to remain in a co-dependent relationship

Regardless, examine your motives for marriage….it’s ministry!!!

Yep both good marriages and a bad marriages have the potential to spread a message.  I know that seems counterproductive to say that about the latter, but what I mean is that people are always watching.  If you have children,  you have a captive audience so that’s something to think about isn’t it?

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That said, if you’re not married yet, take a good hard look at your relationship and consider whether you put that “thang” together yourself  or if it was the Lord’s doing!

Yes, I meant to say “thang” and yes I can get country…Memphis is rubbing off on me already…next thing you know I’ll be using words like “junt”

…moving on


So as I continue my own journey in this matter, if I know nothing else so far, I know my Father still knows best.

©2015 Nadia Davis. All Rights Reserved.


Calm Down and Wait…Father Still Knows Best

I’ve been going through a bunch of older posts and I’m sure this one here is so much more for me than many of you…but just in case…I’m re-posting with a few revisions…

I remember not long ago waking up to an inevitable mess…well scratch that…it was definitely avoidable. I just didn’t act quickly enough and there goes the rest.  One of my dogs got sick and though I heard her yelping to go out,  I kind of allowed my sleepiness aka laziness have its way instead….and the moment I realized what was going on, it was too late…YAK!


I know that’s not the most aesthetically pleasing picture, but imagine how I felt about the smell!

EEEW!!!  Out steps the dog and in steps ODOBAN….

Anyway, while Angel was whining,  I didn’t just lay silent in bed.  I’m a light sleeper so I actually responded, “Calm down, just wait!”  Yes, I treated her as if she were a human and as if she had the ability to do what I’d requested on cue…dog people should get that..

But for those of you who either have been misled into thinking that cats are an acceptable companion and not the irritating piece of furry vermin with claws they really are or that you’re perfectly okay with no four-legged critters around, I’ll explain further.


Needless to say, my request was fruitless…she’s a dog and while she obeys many commands and there are days when I just know she “gets me” more than any other human on the planet, she can’t be expected to follow my instruction in mid-yak!  I mean it’s involuntary and like us, when we get sick of something and have to purge, it’s a not so nice feeling that we aren’t exactly able to stomach either…pun intended….


Now that I’ve grossed you out so far…I guess I should find a point here..

Well, unlike my dog, when our Master tells us to calm down and wait, it’s in our best interest because not doing so is the only time there’s a mess to clean up. The kicker is that we do have a choice when we’re told to wait.  images (1)

Why?  Because God loves us so much He allows us to have free will. I mean the Guy spoke and there was night and day so of course He could’ve created of us to obey on demand, but that’s not how God rolls.

The problem is we rarely listen to His advice the first, second, or even third time.  I guilty here!

Yep, sometimes I have to learn my lesson over and over again.

There’s a definite benefit to not worrying, looking at a situation objectively, and listening to what God says before responding irrationally.

I’m learning day by day that while it seems things are taking forever to manifest, God will not leave me hanging for longer than I can bear. And since He knows best, I believe I’ll calm down and wait a while longer.

©2014-2015 Nadia Davis. All Rights Reserved.

Flip Your Switch and Let Your Light Shine



For almost three months last year I remained in the dark.  No, I wasn’t clueless about some obvious situation.  Well,  maybe a little, but I mean I was literally in the dark! Long story short, a storm caused a power outage and though everyone in my neighborhood was restored,  three of my rooms remained without power.  They happened to be our bedrooms.  According to Entergy, I had full power at the main source, but I needed an expert…aka an electrician.

If God was trying to tell me something with that scenario, I didn’t want to get it so l remained at surface level.  I knew an electrician costs money–money I did not have so I did what any struggling single mom would do-I improvised!!!


Yes, I employed extension cords and lamps to light our rooms and yes, there were a few days that I got dressed in the dark.  I felt powerless and defeated because it seemed it was just one thing after another.

A day before the power outage my dryer died so I was forced to do a few things I really didn’t want to do already…go to a laundry mat.  Funny how easily you take things for granted when you always have it available.

In the same way, I had taken God’s presence for granted.  Sure, I wrote about Him and I knew He cared for me, but deep down I must not have believed He loved me unconditionally.  I hadn’t realized how to love myself that way yet.  I considered the financial and emotional drama my punishment.

I felt I hadn’t been a good enough parent so the disrespect was my lot. I felt like I really didn’t deserve romantic love so I refused to receive it.  I felt like I wasn’t a good enough writer so instead of posting daily I claimed writer’s block because I couldn’t stop editing my life.

I nearly turned my  own light out.images (2)

In years passed, I thought about suicide on more than one occasion.  During that time last year, this was not an exception.  Sleeping pills seemed a plausible way to go at one point…that is until I realized that even that method could be painful.

You see I’ve never liked pain…for that reason…I hate needles  and tight-fitting clothes…yet, to inspect my life with a magnifying glass, one would think my tolerance for pain is greater than most.  Especially since most of the pain beneath the surface was self-inflicted….


I thank God for meeting me at my well.  download

At a time when I was sure I could do what I needed to do without the prying eyes of others, I too got thirsty but sought the wrong refreshment.  Like that Samaritan woman, Jesus, thought enough of me to change His course to redirect my path.  At what seemed like my lowest point, my encounter with Him forced me to examine the choices I’d made and pour out the source of my pain….I could do nothing but lay my “issues” at His feet.

I admit now that the process began then, but only within this last year…the last few months …even weeks have I really been able to see and embrace the fruit of the labor of Christ’s love for me.

I smile all the time because I feel like it. wpid-c360_2015-11-01-18-03-41-842.jpg

I’m glad to say that I no longer have to look back and sulk.  I no longer have to blame myself for something already forgiven.  I am okay with sometimes not being okay.

Understanding that even in my trials God had never left my side is what keeps me going now. My lights ended up being repaired for free both physically and spiritually then, but not before I got too tired of being in the dark.

The funny thing about my three dark rooms is that the entire time, the only issue I had was that I hadn’t flipped the right switch to access the power that had been readily available to me on my breaker. Instead I assumed it was fine because it looked that way.

I guess on the outside for a time, I appeared that way as well….so much that I believed that I was full when I was near empty.

Emotionally and mentally my switch was flipped when I truly embraced forgiveness of myself and offered it unconditionally to all those who had hurt me in the past.  That first step began with me forgiving my mother.

God has done so much in me and through me this year that I wake daily astounded by His presence…I’ve found myself more often re-reading the posts He’s inspired me to write to you over again to better appreciate my journey.

Well, so far that journey has been one paved with broken pieces indeed…yet, in all those days of crying and possibly feeling worse physically and mentally than I could have imagined before, I’m glad to know that my light didn’t go out, I just needed to flip the switch and shine.

©Nadia Davis 2015.  All Rights Reserved.

Funny thing…Love

Heavenly Father,
I come thanking You for Your discipline…I’d be lying if I said I liked it…You know my heart so that’s pointless. Father, help me to take the advice I so readily give others…Help me to listen and do what You want. I don’t want to keep taking the same tests over and over because of rebellion. I’ve been way out of order and I need You to guide me to get back in line with what You told me to do months ago. I can’t do it without You.  In Jesus’ name, Amen!
It’s easy to tell everyone else that mustard seed faith is enough to get the job done…it’s been easy for me to tell others to have faith for years…one might think faith was a supernatural gift I held…but God and I know the truth…the truth of how yes, I have walked on water, but my doubt at times has caused me to sink more than once…
In the last few months…I know at least more than ten…Then I wonder to myself…what would happen if I ran out of chances?
Who would suffer because I just couldn’t stomach the reality set before me….Maybe that’s been my problem…Reality…Faith and the Vision God’s given me says one thing and my mind and my eyes see the reality of my circumstances…so I’ve been forced at times to reveal parts of me that I’d rather keep hidden…I’ve been forced to share a portion of my heart that had been locked away for safe-keeping…then I wonder, was I keeping my heart safe or held hostage….
Love’s a funny thing…but not so…I’m realizing how love requires premeditated forgiveness to be unconditional…how treating others the way you want to be treated keeps me repentant more than I wish were necessary…Some of the things I’ve said are irrevocable and then I consider how  so many of my actions have been too…yet God still loves me unconditionally.
When I compare His love for me given all He knows of me, I can’t help but offer that same love. I’ve been trying.  It’s been hard, but I’m willing.  Before now, that had never been the case.  Flight  was a preferred approach…but I’m actually glad God is making me endure  this.  How else will I learn.  Though I’ve failed at the love thing before, this is different.  I want to be here.  And then I’m comforted with God’s truth:

©2015 Nadia Davis. All Rights Reserved.

Tug away if you want to… you’re on your own!

Though Guardian couldn’t understand my words, I still felt obligated to voice them aloud as he sniffed and tugged closer and closer to this monster anyway:

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Now for some of you who like bugs…this pic may do nothing for you, but for an “arachnophobe” like myself, the fact that this sucker couldn’t do much as harm to some other spiders doesn’t matter!  Seeing a spider like this after the sun was up as if it had no plans of hiding away like some of the others do, freaked me out.

So trust had my dog continued as he started,tugging away from me, and gotten tangled in this thing’s web, he would have clearly been on his own!

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Thankfully, my dog is alive and well and he avoided the obviously human-sized web that bad boy had concocted…Or maybe it was a a bad girl…Aren’t they bigger anyway?download (7)

Anyway…I tugged him out of harms way just in time.  Now considering that dogs try to eat most moving objects smaller than themselves anyway, I doubt my dog Guardian would not have been phased by the spider crawling around on his coat.  I, on the other hand, got a completely different message…

Yes, again, God used my dogs to teach me something about my own level of disobedience.

Basically, like I told my dog, “I could tug away from the way He was leading me if I wanted to—that’s free will—but when I get from under His protection, I’m on my own….

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I admit my dogs have run away a few times before when I lived in AR…oddly enough they always came back . Usually because I’d go and physically get them, but later I stopped searching for them and waited until they returned on their own.

Like prodigals, they were usually filthy, hungry, and tired too.  Of course because I love them…I was happy to see them, clean them,  and feed them anyway.

I noticed a pattern though so to curb it I did all I had done before but added the rod of correction to the “seats of their understanding!”  They got the hint.  And I’m sure they didn’t like the way it felt.download (1)

In fact, now all I have to do is say, “Don’t even think about it” and Guardian tends to stop what he’s doing and gets back on track.

In a way, lately my weakened faith has had God telling me, “Don’t even think about it” too.

He’s reminded me of not thinking about the negative and what I see, but to think about the blessings and ways He’s made before to strengthen my faith again.

Like my over-sized pups, I really don’t like the way discipline feels either.  Yet, I’ll take God’s discipline over His distance any day!  

Run Hebrews inspiration


©2015 Nadia Davis. All Rights Reserved.


Not Shaken, Just Stirred

Thought this needed a revisit! Re-post.


Yes, what a beautiful morning! A few days ago, despite the temperature matching the atmosphere I’m witnessing today, I might not have had the same response. In fact, despite the glowing sun, last week I can attest that I was in a very dark place. Depressed? Nah….I can identify the source of my sadness so I can’t exactly claim that scapegoat.

Simply put, “A sista been goin’ through!” Yep, I felt the need to escape, if only for a moment a proper vernacular for those who possibly peruse this site for the soul purpose of reading prose that lacks grammatical errors with the exception of those that are intentional, of course. Yep, I went there!


From electrical issues and car trouble, it seems that Murphy’s law has become a way of life for me over the past couple months and last week I just found myself completely exhausted! So much that I did all but beg my boss for the opportunity to work from home for at least one of my two reasons.

Sure, I woke up Monday morning with the pinkeye.  Yuk, gross…well thankfully, I’d had some drops already so I was able to get a head start on the healing process….Only, when I’d awaken to that bloodshot bull’s eye, I was actually relieved.  I was somewhat happy with an excuse to rest…something I’d found increasingly more difficult within the last few weeks.  I’d been getting by off 2 and 3 hours a day, working out, going here and there…never realizing the obvious danger I had been subjecting myself and my children to needlessly.  It seemed that I once again had forgotten how to just say no.

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But how could I say no…I’d had a job to do…I was the single mom who secretly donned a cape and some great boots to kick things in gear for my children….Never mind that my exhaustion was taking its toll on my health. I was the super soldier for Christ and I had to give my best at work and not get to a place where I felt entitled at work because I owed Him so much.

Yet this passed week, I’ve realized that while God’s grace is sufficient and His strength is revealed in my weakness, He never told me to get comfortable being uncomfortable!

Yet, as I look at my surroundings and the state of things financially from the year prior to the present, I had to consciously ask myself the question, “What has changed?”

I guess the question itself wouldn’t bite as much had I not also had to answer it, but that would be much too easy. I understand now that therein lies my problem. Spiritually, I recognize the need to do things differently.  Even mentally I’ve considered the consequences of not doing so.  Yet, my actions have remained null and void.  Even with exercise, I’ve gotten stagnant.  I’ve realized that the weights I’d been using were no longer challenging me, but instead of literally pumping up the volume, I’ve opted for using the same weight only to be disappointed at the realization my efforts were making little difference now.

Well today, I was reminded that God’s love for me provides me a choice. A choice to do something different to achieve a different result.  And might I add, you do too! That is, if you’ve been where I have and if you’ve felt like you’re the only one aboard a sinking ship, the choice on how you will respond is still up to you!

You see, last week I worked from home and while I was doing so, I had the opportunity to listen to my music.  I kind of went on an R&B tip and got into India Arie again.  I couldn’t getMoved by You” out of my head for days even though I couldn’t recall one lyric beyond that hook.

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I realized this morning and perhaps the dawning of another day last week that I had neglected to be “moved by God” again.  This subconscious perspective I was guilty of harnessing was further confirmed when I attempted to listen to some other music.  Ironically, my computer got locked in safe mode and I kept getting errors that I the videos I attempted to access were “not appropriate for viewing.” Initially, I thought it weird because the content was not vulgar.  I don’t like that stuff anyway.  However, I was able to access Gospel videos with ease.

In fact, yesterday morning I tried one last time and was switched to a TD Jakes sermon instead.  I was captivated and convicted.  I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt God had been telling me something…that all the sermons and songs of hope I’d been exposed to were not a coincidence.  Rather, proof of God’s providence.


Essentially, that despite the financial mistakes, delayed promotions, and emotional mountains I faced were nothing compared to His presence with me in the midst of them.  He was still able to bring me through!  I learned as I was somewhat involuntarily submerged that He was only allowing the trials and failures rekindle the fire that had been blazing within me before…that He loved me too much to allow me to be comfortable simply nesting in a mess.

My Father assured me that He is not allowing the problems to shake my faith, but to stir it.  For that love, I am eternally grateful.

©2014 Nadia Davis. All Rights Reserved.

It Could Be Worse

I’ve taken a little time over the passed few days to celebrate the wrong things. I threw myself a pity party!

I tried to invite my children to join me a moment and I’m glad that neither of them thought it cool to attend it.

Evidence that I had trained them in the way that they should go after all….my son listened and finally said few profound words that abruptly ended the shenanigans!

“You need to stop feeling sorry for yourself and use the faith that you’ve taught us to have!”

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I was caught between the agony of having spiritual vision and having reality…I see what God showed, but when I open my natural eyes I see what I lack…I can’t see how He will get me there…get us there…my concern is for my children…their well-being…their faith…their future…their today…
I clung to the truth that I was crossing over into the promised land, but I keep circling the same mountain….

How did I get here?

What am I doing here?

Is this the here God meant?

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I received a call about noon yesterday and the scales began to fall from my eyes…the frustration in her voice made my plight seem so small…she had recounted how her blood pressure was high because she just discovered that her bank account was overdrawn by hundreds of dollars…that she refused to go to the bank because her mind was not right and she didn’t want to say the wrong thing…she had sense enough to rest…..her words, “I realize that I can’t depend on anyone but myself!”

Immediately I found myself contradicting her words…the very words that remained impinged in my own mind and heart mere hours prior…instead I said, “I’ve learned that God sometimes allows us to get to our lowest point so that we can ask for help. Do you need help?”

I realized that my situation could have been worse than what I imagined…the radio further confirmed this when I heard the testimony of cancer survivors…

I’d seen God bring me through so much over the years that just didn’t make sense so why I had the audacity to “worry” about what I was facing now was just plain wrong…

I realized that even in my helplessness, I was willing to help…that it is my gift and whether I want to admit it or not in my distress, I still get joy from seeing others happy….

My son’s faith and happiness that afternoon along with his words are what helped me fully snap out of my pity party…if nothing more…Those words and the words of Luke 7:6 sealed my faith for God’s best for our lives…

I’d asked for scripture, but I didn’t want something I already knew…I wanted to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God had really spoken to me…

And He answered with “and Jesus went with them”

Considering that truth, I’m learning to be more grateful for my wilderness experience because without Him I know it would be worse.
©2015 Nadia Davis. All Rights Reserved.

Transplanted to Thrive

I’ve said before that I’m observant.  Well I noticed today that the flowers around where I live have been swapped…you know for fall varieties…well I too noticed that I and the flowers have a bit in common.  Yep, it’s official. I’m a transplant!

Now to the untrained eye, you might not even notice the difference, but I guess you could say I have a semi-green thumb so I did….either that or I’m just a nerd…I’m betting on a bit of both but whatever.

Either way, I noticed that the plants were thriving despite the process I knew they had to go through to get there.

It made me think about the many flowers I killed back in AR before I had a clue….

Hey when I purchased my first home, I just wanted my yard to be pretty and I bought all these plants thinking,

“How hard could it be to replant plants?” e465d8c863616bcb86ae32db939b6aea

There were quite a few things that I had not considered that I have been sort of forced to in my right now…I did not handle them with care and I was pretty negligent in the beginning with maintenance.  The process was a lot slower than I wanted it to be because the new roots had to be established before they were able to thrive in the new environment.


It really blessed me this morning for God to speak to my heart in this way!  I knew that He was letting me know that this process that seemed to take forever would be worth the wait.  He reminded me that though there were days that I’ve felt weak and probably looked the same that I needn’t worry about dying here…that He is the Master Gardener and that He is taking His time to ensure that strong roots are established for the plans He has in store for me.

©2015 Nadia Davis.  All Rights Reserved.

Good grief! I guess I’m not done yet…

A full night’s sleep has become something of a distant memory for me now.  It seems I can’t focus and the things I say I’m going to do keep going undone.

Could I still be grieving?

My mother would have been 66 today had God not invited her home last January.

I know I’ve faced a lot the last few months but I am aware of what brings me joy…yet as I comb through websites and find myself reading book after book and article after article about sleep deprivation and home remedies I still end up more tired that I was when I began.

Chronic Fatigue? Adrenal Fatigue? Over-stressed?

I suppose by the symptoms it would seem I’ve become a prime candidate for all three. A year ago it wasn’t nearly this hard. I admit I have always done a little bit too much.  I’ve tried to shave things off my plate to make room for those who matter and the things that should, but lately it seems that lines have been blurred. It seems I have a hundred things in my mind at one time and all I want to do is have the ideas, issues, and things to slow down…

Slow Down…something that I haven’t been able to do….to do list….wow something I recall having even in high school!  I’d calculate the time I needed to accomplish things, list what needed to be done, and do it with time to spare…Where exactly has all that time gone.  Is it that my list has grown too long or that it is full matters that would be best left omitted?  There are so many questions I can’t answer. Yet, my mind constantly wonders about all the possibilities and what if’s anyway.

I need silence.  My eyes beg for solace.  I yearn for a stillness that I used to have.

Last year.  Things were not as hard as my right now.  I had goals. I could focus….at least some of the time.  So last week I began reading yet another book to solve this dilemma.

I tired of it immediately.


It’s one thing to know a thing and entirely another to apply what you know to impact your outcome.

Last year on Resurrection Sunday, I took an unplanned trip to see my mother.  I’d seen pictures of her in her frailty before that trek and perhaps the reality of those shots hindered my willingness to visit more often prior to that moment, but now I understand why for at least a year, I’ve been chasing my tail….doing so much and accomplishing so little.

I saw her.

…and the realization that I could “do nothing” to fix her plagued me….the fact that I could do nothing to fix “us” still dances in my mind from that moment until the present one….

Seeing her then did something to me that I hadn’t had the courage to admit until now. It did something to me that I hadn’t had the willingness to let go until today. Although she’s passed and is in peace with our Father in heaven, I’d actually been plugged up with so much anxiety because in some small way, I believed that by not completing some of the tasks I’d planned to do that I failed her.


I know it might sound odd and while it might be hard for some people to grasp, God knew I’d get here.  He also knew that the only way that I would stop “doing” is only if I had no choice.  So spiritually and physically drained I found myself in tears in a bible study class I’d visited miles away from where I currently reside, but all too close from where I’d attempted my escape years prior.

I’d blurred the lines of people pleasing with God-pleasing.  I mistakenly made the “I” in I can do all things through Christ bigger than the only One who could strengthen me regardless of what I encountered…even the death of my mother.  I considered this would be just another thing that “I” could handle alone.

I was wrong.

Blinded by my own pride, I like the lone beggar in Mark 10 finally cried out for His direction despite the advice from all the “self-help” books I’d perused.  And like He addressed Bartimaeus, I felt Jesus requesting the same of me Sunday during that service:

“What do you want Me to do for you?”

I’ve pondered the question for the last two days, but now I have an answer.

Lord, I too want You to Restore my sight.  Help me again to see the good in the grief I’ve faced.  Restore my focus for Your glory.  Amen.

©2015 Nadia Davis. All Rights Reserved.